WIBU to have abandoned this guy at a petrol station?

[HeadFairy]

So I'm coming home from a late shift, it's half past midnight and I pull in to an unmanned Asda petrol station round the back of a 24hour store to get some petrol. I notice a young guy in a hoodie standing a few feet away from the pumps, he appears to be on his phone. I fill up and as I finish he comes up to me and asks if I'm able to call him a taxi as his phone has run out of charge and could I call him a taxi. I'm not local so finding a taxi number would have involved me standing there for a few minutes having a look on google, and I wasn't keen. No real reason, he was really apologetic and polite, but I just wasn't keen. There are a few shops around there, so I thought maybe he could walk and see if there was a taxi shop somewhere locally. But now I'm feeling a bit bad that I left him there. So WIBU?

And how ludicrous to say he wpuld have attacked immediately.

The point is that anyone...man or woman...must veer on the side of instinct when personal safety is at stake.

carefreeeee how do you know he was healthy?

You didn't feel comfortable and you trusted your gut. I think I would have done the same

The point is that anyone...man or woman...must veer on the side of instinct when personal safety is at stake.

This with bells on.

Women are conditioned not to be rude. I say, don't be afraid of being rude! Better that someone have his feelings hurt than that you come to harm.

In self-defence classes at school many years decades ago we were taught to keep our distance from men who approached us in unusual circumstances (like the one OP describes). It looks rude if you back away or make sure you don't get within arm's length of a strange man. Well what a shame. The stranger will get over it, was what we were told.

I would have defo left him - so many weirdos about, he could have done anything to you. Different if you'd been with someone else but not on your own - I wouldn't have actually filled up there if I'd seen him 😂

I would have completely ignored him and driven off. I might not even have stopped for petrol.

In fact I definitely wouldn't have stopped for petrol. And I am sure whatever his intentions were, they were not innocent

Once my brother got stuck out somewhere in the wee small hours. He didn't want to frighten anyone or bother anyone so he just sat and waited for the morning to arrive. Pre mobile thinking

Tbh, I probably wouldn't even have got out of my car to use the pump if there was someone hanging around at midnight

This. When you're in a deserted petrol station, it's the middle of the night, and some guy with no car is hanging about - just go to a different petrol station. Why risk it?

I'm pretty sure I have been told a number of times that this "please help me" scenario is one Ted Bundy used to abduct some of his victims. Chances are the man in this scenario was no Ted Bundy but you'd be mad to take the risk. And if he was genuine he should have asked the back door staff at asda (I used to stack shelves in a supermarket at night, we and the back door people who bring the deliveries in from the lorries were in on a Sunday night when the store was shut).

The post clearly says an "unmanned Asda petrol station", not "a 24 hour Asda store." The implication was that all the shops around were closed and no one else was there. I think you were unkind not to help this kid. All teenage boys wear hoodies and most of them are perfectly nice. I agree with the poster who points out you could have gotten back in your car and called a taxi for him with your doors locked. Poor kid probably saw you and thought "there's a nice, non-threatening lady who will help me get myself home." It's a shame he misjudged you.

You were quite right to drive away, he could have gone to the ADSA for help, or wait until he saw a man, not ask a lone female for help.

Afraid I've not read all the posts, but no, you were not BU. What on earth was he doing there, how did he get there, why did he not go into the 24 hour store to call a cab, why did he not approach a male driver? For heavens sake, you were a woman on your own and felt uncomfortable with him, you did what made yourself feel safe.

I am always amazed at how many people on Mumsnet live in England and have somehow never noticed that every single supermarket that is over corner shop sized is closed on Sunday night by law in England. Obviously I understand not knowing this if you don't live in England, but how can you live here and just never have heard of Sunday trading laws?!

I don't live there. I think I'm excused. Also, Scotland.

The post clearly says the station was at the back of a 24 hr store, @EllenMP

Chances are he was legit, but why take the chance?

It's not like she ignored someone who was bleeding on the ground (and even then tbh, I'd probably call an ambulance from inside my locked car). A huge amount of nasty types use the kindness of strangers against them.

No EllenMP the OP said it was "an unmanned Asda petrol station round the back of a 24hour store" so there was an open store very close by.

And I am sure whatever his intentions were, they were not innocent
So now he was def up to no good?
So the poor fucker couldn't have simply have been lost, he had to have been up to something?

My local Tesco opens midnight Monday, and in Sunday into Monday. They only close 10pm Saturday till 10 am Sunday then close at 4pm Sunday ...don't all 24hour shops do that? If my gut has said no to helping I wouldn't have helped. Listen to your gut. YWNBU.

No-one should be using their phones at a petrol station anyway!?
YANBU though, sounds dodgy as hell

It's pretty simple to weigh up the risks of the possible courses of action.

Either he was a poor kid in a jam, or he was a bad guy up to no good.

Options:

1. You suggest he goes into the 24hr shop and asks them for help - if he's a kid in trouble, he gets help, if he's a bad guy, he doesn't get to rob you or worse. Risk: zero to either party.

1. You pull out your phone and help him because you don't want mumsnet to judge you - if he's a kid in trouble, he gets help, if he's a bad guy, he robs you or worse. Risk: small but with severe consequences.

Why take a small risk option when you can easily take an option that is no risk/harm to either party?

Idk.

I mean, if there was noone else around I would have probably locked the car and called him a taxi.

But others were around, you weren't standing on a mountain pass in Uri or something... So, Idk.

I think my safety matters more than being polite.

So, if you just didn't do it because you were lazy? Yeah, that's rude imo.

However, you were spooked. Listen to your gutfeeling. Your safety matters more than him being embarassed (? I'm being kind...) because he had to ask some workers/other people.

No I don't think you were unreasonable at all. You listened to your instincts. He may have been completely harmless, but he could also have been involved in some sort of scam. Better safe than sorry.

Its all very well saying what you would have done in OPs situation, but the fact is, you don't really know, do you? You can't possibly until you're in that situation yourself. All you can do is follow your gut and in that moment, if you feel uncomfortable, then get out of there. You never think it will happen to you but it does happen, all the time. You have a responsibility to do what you can to keep yourself safe. All those having a go at OP for doing this are being very unreasonable. Don't stress yourself about it anymore OP, he is fine and you are fine - result.

No, definitely not unreasonable. A guy should not approach a lone woman late at night. Why didn't he wait for another guy. No way.