WIBU to have abandoned this guy at a petrol station?

[HeadFairy]

So I'm coming home from a late shift, it's half past midnight and I pull in to an unmanned Asda petrol station round the back of a 24hour store to get some petrol. I notice a young guy in a hoodie standing a few feet away from the pumps, he appears to be on his phone. I fill up and as I finish he comes up to me and asks if I'm able to call him a taxi as his phone has run out of charge and could I call him a taxi. I'm not local so finding a taxi number would have involved me standing there for a few minutes having a look on google, and I wasn't keen. No real reason, he was really apologetic and polite, but I just wasn't keen. There are a few shops around there, so I thought maybe he could walk and see if there was a taxi shop somewhere locally. But now I'm feeling a bit bad that I left him there. So WIBU?

You were being safe and i would have done exactly same. He was probably fine but probably is not certainly. And im sure he could just have asked someone else who was not a lone woman.

I think you did the right thing, op. I always say to trust your instincts and, whether this was the case or not, it's known to be one of the distraction techniques for theft/muggings etc.

Like you said, there were other people around so it's not like you completely abandoned someone who may have needed genuine help.

I am always amazed at how many people on Mumsnet live in England and have somehow never noticed that every single supermarket that is over corner shop sized is closed on Sunday night by law in England. Obviously I understand not knowing this if you don't live in England, but how can you live here and just never have heard of Sunday trading laws?!

I'm torn over this, if you could have done it from the safety of your locked car then yes.

But if your gut tells you there's something not quite right then you probably did the right thing. YANBU

I would rather appear rude and protect myself. I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt and would always stop to help someone out in a situation where I felt safe/lots of people around, but late at night or on my own I am incredibly cautious, perhaps the result of growing up and then going to uni in massive cities. I wouldn't have helped him.

Mid 20s and over 6 foot, hardly a vulnerable youngster. You did absolutely right.

Op ywnbu. It is ashame if he was stranded, but on balance women are told to ignore their instincts too often and be nice and polite. I've no doubt if he'd have mugged you you'd have been blamed for being out alone at night and talking to strange men.

It's no good people saying he could have mugged you anyway, far easier to mug someone with their phone out off guard.

The only thing you could have done was to ring a taxi from your car with the doors locked. But we don't always think quickly in situations like that.

Fwiw I would have done the same as you after having a few bad experiences myself.

Fair enough if there were other people around and he had options.

OP you were right, if that situation made you uncomfortable, that was more than enough reason. Why are women conditioned to be polite and nice and go against their gut instincts. He could have walked to a shop, or walked to the 24h Asda that is probably near the petrol station, like ours is, and ask at customer service.,

1. You didn't abandon him
2. He had loads of other options

Fairy, you didn't feel comfortable, so you did the right thing.
The young man, could have asked the person he was speaking to, on his own mobile, to call him a taxi.
Always listen to your inner voice.
Don't give this any more head space.

Fairy, you didn't feel comfortable, so you did the right thing
Don't give this any more head space

^^
This. Absolutely.

YWNBU. I would have walked away as well if on my own. I wouldn't take the risk.

Lots of opinions on a Sunday night, yeah right.

If he wanted to attack you he would have done so already.

I'm with you OP.

A young man had no business spooking a woman at a petrol station, regardless of whether she was alone or not.

Unfortunately for men, they need to understand that if they're on their own in a lonely place (middle of the night or not) and the only person available to potentially help them is a woman on her own, they are probably going to have to wait around for a man to come along.

If anything had happened, some people would be saying, "What on earth was she doing, getting out of her car in the middle of the night with a strange man around?"

Granted most men are not dangerous, but enough of them are that women need to err on the side of caution wherever possible.

It's unfortunate for the man concerned, but I would have to say - why didn't he plan ahead so that he didn't end up stranded somewhere random in the middle of the night? WOMEN are expected to be sensible enough to avoid this type of situation, well it works both ways!

Oh and YANBU. Listen to your gut. Always.

Worst case for him: he's no worse off than he was before you came along.

Worst case for you: Well, let's not go there.

If he wanted to attack you he would have done so already.

Yes, because attackers always strike immediately.

YANBU. You felt uncomfortable. I'd have done the same.

Yanbu, I don't strike up conversation with random men when I'm alone at night. Men need to be more sensitive to the fact that women are often scared of them in these circumstances and with good reason.

My DH is the ultimate gentle giant, yet when he's walked through quiet alleyways at night he has had a couple of occasions where a woman has sped up/changed direction to get away from him because to them he is just a massive guy with the potential to hurt them. He was surprised when I told him I would do the same if I didn't know him as I'm quite "ballsy" - ballsy yes, under the impression I can fight off a 6 foot 20 stone man, no.

I don't think that you shpuld feel bad at all OP.

You didn't feel comfortable-there were other people nearby who he could ask for help.

He was talking on his mobile so he had other resources and lied to you. Trust your gut. Stop worrying about it.

I wouldn't as a lone woman approached by a lone man late at night. I'd also wonder why he was hanging around an unmanned petrol station late at night looking for a taxi, different if it was someone outside a pub. How did he get there? If he'd been working in the Asda he could have gone back in and asked a colleague.

Also my phone doesn't have internet so unless I knew a local taxi number, which I don't, I wouldn't have been able to call him a taxi anyway.

When I was his age we didn't have mobile phones. He could walk to wherever he was going. Not without risk for him but maybe next time he'd have change for a pay phone- if he could find one. Or make sure he always had charge in his phone.
Sorry but if op's instinct says no then she did the right thing.