To ask someone to sit at a table while I'm in a queue?

[DedicationToSparkleMotion]

I had no idea this is apparently rude?

Today while in a cafe queue I said to DH "go and get a seat while I pay". He looked horrified said I was effectively "pushing in front" of those queueing in front of us and we shouldn't sit until we had ordered and paid.

I don't really agree and think everyone does this if they are in a group (after all if a family of five go in are they all going to stand in a queue together? What if everyone did this, the queue area would be overrun?!) and it's neither polite nor impolite, but he was insistent.

Who was BU?

Oh has a invisible disability which means he can't stand for long periods plus lots of other things outwardly he looks like a fit and healthy man in his 40s. I always send him to sit with the children while I queue, havent really thought anything of it and we haven't been challenged but I'm now thinking people could think we're rude.
(He does get challenged parking in disabled parking but that's a whole other thread.)

Please explain to me how those people dining alone are supposed to get a seat to eat the food they have paid for

by putting a bag/ jacket to reserve the table before going to buy the food? I have never once have a problem to reserve a table when I was the only adult, or the only person full stop. I can't begin to understand what the problem is.

Psssh I'm not gonna no to queue, pay for food on the off chance a table has appeared. Go and sit down DH!

As if I'm going to eat my food standing up!

But other people are expected to do just this because some people who may be right at the back of a long queue have someone else hogging a table.

If I'm on my own I will take a chance about getting a table.
With the kids with,they get sent to sit at a table.Its safer than having them in the queue

what a drama!

you would never know the internal anger that some people go through in the most random situations, MN is an eye opener.

I don't understand the issue, when I pop in Starbucks for a morning coffee, I grab a table. I can see people are queuing at the till, I have no idea if they want a take-away, if they are with a friend who already has a table, are you suppose to check with everybody else first, count the number of remaining tables before deciding if you can politely seat or not? Blimey, I'll end up buying a coffee machine, it's too much faff.

How is it rude? What would you do if you were there with your entire family? It is far more anti social to bring your whole family to queue up for food than it is to let some go and sit down.

It is called waiting your turn!

It is called waiting your turn!

No one is pushing you out of the way to advance in the queue! If there's no table available, I wait for one before ordering my drink/food, so I do wait my turn Or I go elsewhere if I can't be bothered to wait.

It's also called queue jumping. You're at the back yet jumping in front of those ahead by grabbing a table before them.

Remoaniac - You go to a cafe with waiting staff, you get a take-away/take your food back to the office/to a park or you choose a cafe which is not busy.

Really? So in my lunch break I have either to go over my alloted time waiting be served, or eat at my desk? Just because people who haven't bought food yet are occupying tables.

Out of interest how do table grabbers feel when it is obvious they are waiting for someone to pull out of a car parking spot and another car zips into the space they were ibbiously waiting for. Do you think it is rude? What about someone who sends their family memberto a busy supermarket queue to line up before they even start shopping? Is that fair?

The people who are trying to say people who have the manners and decency to respect others are the ones in the wrong is actually very sad.

You go elsewhere if there aren't enough tables. You dont queue jump!

How is it rude? What would you do if you were there with your entire family? It is far more anti social to bring your whole family to queue up for food than it is to let some go and sit down.

It isn't rude. I am yet to see whole families queuing together, it would look ridiculous, not to mention very impractical. Unless they're all waiting obediently outside for the family member doing the ordering to whistle or holler for them to come in

It's not wrong just because you say so, pottedplants. And how many people reserve places in the supermarket queue? Never seen that. Unlike reserving a table, if you're able to, which most sensible and gentile people do.

I have done this, but not when it's the last table.

Personally, I think they should reintroduce the death penalty for people who stand in the queue at M & S or Waitrose with 1 tin of beans and then their other half appears with a massive trolley of stuff. I ALWAYS barge in front when this happens.

reuset

Reuset Queue jumping which is what it is is rude regardless of what you say. It is better to have basic manners and treat others how you would like to be treated.

For people who don't accept that they are queue-jumping by taking up a table before they've been served: do you not feel bad that people who have already bought their food are struggling around you to find a table to eat it at when you're just sat there taking up an empty table?

Or do you just filter them out and pretend to yourself that your actions aren't the cause of their inconvenience?

For the record, I don't get angry when this happens to me - these self-service restaurants are usually carnage and I'm always grateful to the lovely people who are happy to let me and my kids sit on the end of their table and obviously do the same for them - the contrast between some people's 'blitz spirit' and camaraderie and others' sheer selfishness is telling.

I'd certainly rather be perched in a windowsill with my cold burger and fries than smugly spread out like a starfish at an empty table surrounded by other people's coats!

Pottedplants

If you are obviously going to seat at a specific table, then yes it would be rude to steal it from you. How would I know it's going to be your table? Because you put your coat on it to show that's where you will seat? Oh wait...

I agree with your DH - I think it's generally rude and selfish to bag seats before you've paid. It should be first come, first served.

There's no queue jumping. You've merely declined to get yourself a seat in advance like everyone else does.

If you are obviously going to seat at a specific table, then yes it would be rude to steal it from you. How would I know it's going to be your table? Because you put your coat on it to show that's where you will seat? Oh wait... grin

Actually my ex DH hated this and I remember him once telling a man to move in a cafe because we had paid for our stuff and he hadn't and was taking up a seat. I heard the man's wife ask him what happened and he said 'they've paid for their stuff apparently - how childish'.

In practice though, if everyone did this nobody would have a seat.

do you not feel bad that people who have already bought their food are struggling around you to find a table to eat it at when you're just sat there taking up an empty table?

Can't say I've seen that. Sometimes, rarely, single people, without coats will ask to join my table, and I am happy to oblige them.