To ask someone to sit at a table while I'm in a queue?

[DedicationToSparkleMotion]

I had no idea this is apparently rude?

Today while in a cafe queue I said to DH "go and get a seat while I pay". He looked horrified said I was effectively "pushing in front" of those queueing in front of us and we shouldn't sit until we had ordered and paid.

I don't really agree and think everyone does this if they are in a group (after all if a family of five go in are they all going to stand in a queue together? What if everyone did this, the queue area would be overrun?!) and it's neither polite nor impolite, but he was insistent.

Who was BU?

I have done this, but not when it's the last table.
Whilst its not my thing, if its not heaving i dont worry about other people doing it. But whe its busy it drives me mad.

Personally, I think they should reintroduce the death penalty for people who stand in the queue at M & S or Waitrose with 1 tin of beans and then their other half appears with a massive trolley of stuff. I ALWAYS barge in front when this happens.

Thay annoys me.
If im in aldi and im doing a massive shop i let people who have a basket nip in front because well its polite and kind. One time i did that and then their OH pushed past with a trolley full. I was like 'excuse me, i only offered you to go in front as it seems daft you waiting with a couple of items' . Thr couple gave me evils before moving back in the queue.
Some people are just entitled.
E.g. single people occupying a 4 table on a train and spreading thwir stuff everywhere whilst a family tries to find some 2 seats near each other. Be polite and offer thr ta le to them and move to a 2 seat (unless youve reserved the seat- but then still move your crap so the other 3 can be used).

Reuset Don't worry about taking my specific table. You would easily know it was my table because I would be sitting at it eating the food I had already purchased!

do you not feel bad that people who have already bought their food are struggling around you to find a table to eat it at when you're just sat there taking up an empty table?

Never really noticed such an ordeal, but they would let me confused. Why didn't they get a table before ordering like everybody else does?

do you not feel bad that people who have already bought their food are struggling around you to find a table to eat it at when you're just sat there taking up an empty table?

This never happens because, pleasingly, at everywhere I go everyone else also seems to adopt the much more straightforward 'find a table and then order' system.

You would easily know it was my table because I would be sitting at it eating the food I had already purchased!

if you are sitting at your table, what's all the drama about?

Come on, there's being rude: that's pushing you out of the way to reach the best table first. Then there's being a martyr, and standing up in case someone else will need a table sometimes (disabled, pregnant woman).

In practice though, if everyone did this nobody would have a seat.

How do you figure that?

Oh I'm not the worrying kind Though I'd have thought you'd be wandering around with your tray, still, glaring at bemused customers.

Still really don't get the concept of queue jumping for tables. Nobody is queueing for the tables, they're queuing for food. What about if it's a small cafe or shop, no seating inside but public seats/benches right outside - does the same apply then?

It just seems such an overly polite thing that is more inconvenience to yourself than other people. I really can't say I have ever noticed people with food wandering around looking for tables, hence why I was shocked it was considered rude to bagsy a table.

If I ever did witness it well then I'm afraid I'd think they were a bit silly and had put themselves out, not the fault of anyone reserving tables?

I thought everyone does this. If there is one person in front of you and one free table left I would still do it, because I would assume that the person in front has already got their companion to sit at a table and therefore the empty one is rightfully mine...! The cafes I have in mind don't tend to have a lot of single customers so I wouldn't be overly worried about this.

Being a martyr to stand up for a pregnant woman? This is common run of the mill basic decency.

No point continuing the debate. It is queue jumping and queue jumping is rude.. Simple as that.

I meant genteel not gentile Way up thread now!

I often eat in cafes alone. It's easy to find a spare seat at someone else's table. You can buy a meal for 5 with no guarantee of a table though.

Just join an empty handed table hogger if you have your food and there is no table. If they are joined immediately by someone carrying food, go to the next table and join that hogger. If they get staff involved, staff will see you with your food tray and lots of hoggers watching coats. Doubt they'll make the diner get up.

Or, and what is more likely, you'll find yourself escorted out for harassing multiple people, paxil

Once in the M&S cafe in Manchester a woman was standing in the gap between the only two free tables with one hand on each! Blocking the aisle, too, in her attempt to save two tables.

My sister and I put our trays down on one of them and she went mad! Like we cared, hahahahaha.

Did no-one see the signs in the 80s reminding customers to purchase food before sitting down? I assumed the signs had died out because self-service restaurants have now been around for a while and therefore everyone was familiar with the way they work - not because the rules had changed!

This is a huge eye-opener (although I'll still be waiting until I've got food before sitting down on the tiny off-chance this thread isn't representative of real-world views..).

Nope, I have actually done it and politely informed staff I'd of course leave once hogger's wife brings the food.

I don't linger in self-service cafes. I eat and go. Sometimes stared at by a seething hogger. Did it last weekend in a super-busy museum cafe. It was looking even busier than it was because half the 4-seater tables were taken by hoggers and lots of diners were circling. Just join them, it is usually possible to make a good guess who they are with so pick a recent hogger, her/his food purchaser will be there in 15 minutes, and I'll be gone.

'There's no queue jumping. You've merely declined to get yourself a seat in advance like everyone else does.'

^^ this

It's not like reserving sun loungers for instance when you could effectively leave them reserved for hours while someone else could have used them and gone by the time you come back to them.

You will be at the counter getting served which will likely take less than 2 minutes. It's not a matter of waiting your turn, whoever gets to the cafe first gets the table!

'Did no-one see the signs in the 80s reminding customers to purchase food before sitting down? I assumed the signs had died out because self-service restaurants have now been around for a while and therefore everyone was familiar with the way they work - not because the rules had changed!'

Surely to remember these you would have to be at least in your mid forties! A lot of people use cafes who are younger than that. I'm 34 and can't remember those signs at all.

What sort of place would that have been in the 80s, longine? No instructional signs up in the cafés and places we ever visited.

Well, it may be rude in the world of mumsnet, and I usually pride myself on good manners in almost all instances. But in this case I really dont care If you think it rude, I am getting a table whilst DH queues or vice versa I will not be stood there with a tray full of food, nowhere to sit and a face like a sour lemon, because I was trying to be polite be right in the world of mumsnet . Suck it up mumsnetters .

Being a martyr to stand up for a pregnant woman?

No

Being a martyr to stay standing in case a pregnant woman turns up. And if a pregnant woman doesn't get a table before getting her food, I am not even that sympathetic

What we really need is someone who works in cafe management to actually tell us what they think - just for variety.

Before MN, it would never occur to me that others were not also getting tables before ordering - so that is something I learned here.

I have 4 children. I've never thought this as a problem. I tell my dp an kids to sit down while I wait to be served, otherwise there would be 6 people in the que making it a long que for one order.

I'm in my forties too Longline and remember the signs.

I don't think those who queue jump are going to ever see the viewpoint of others. It is the same as discussing why people should leave disabled parking spots for those who have a notice, why people should hold doors open for others, why an elderly person should be offered your seat on public transport etc. If the basics have been replaced by a sense of entitlement that won't ever change. I'm not going to continue reading this thread. Leave them to it!