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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask someone to sit at a table while I'm in a queue?

463 replies

DedicationToSparkleMotion · 02/04/2017 20:50

I had no idea this is apparently rude?

Today while in a cafe queue I said to DH "go and get a seat while I pay". He looked horrified Hmm said I was effectively "pushing in front" of those queueing in front of us and we shouldn't sit until we had ordered and paid.

I don't really agree and think everyone does this if they are in a group (after all if a family of five go in are they all going to stand in a queue together? What if everyone did this, the queue area would be overrun?!) and it's neither polite nor impolite, but he was insistent.

Who was BU?

OP posts:
MargaretCavendish · 03/04/2017 19:53

It is absolutely not the same as any of those things, and you're being pretty obtuse in your refusal to acknowledge this.

dustarr73 · 03/04/2017 19:54

It's not a sense of entitlement, it's commen sense.And I do open doors,let people ahead of me in queues in the supermarket.

It's not all or nothing.You can be a table hogger and still have manners.

Aria2015 · 03/04/2017 19:54

I don't see an issue with this. I do it all the time, one of you orders and pays and the other sits down. As far as I knew, everyone in the queue is doing it too so can't be considered pushing in. Plus the queue appears twice as long if everyone stands in it together - so it makes for a neater queue too. If anything you are helping the queueing situation lol!

reuset · 03/04/2017 19:58

If you remember, where were they, Pottedplant. What sort of eatery back in the 80s had instructional signs on the walls? Longine hasn't been back to enlighten us yet.

Did no-one see the signs in the 80s reminding customers to purchase food before sitting down?

It probably meant no table service! You'll have to give us the exact wording and punctuation to be sure. Wink

MeNeedSleep · 03/04/2017 20:04

I jusy assumed that everyone got a tablw 1st, therefore the people in the queue in front of me would also have a table to go to already.

LonginesPrime · 03/04/2017 20:41

I'm not sure of the exact wording, but the gist was that it was clarifying the rule that you get your food and THEN sit down, to avoid the inevitable arguments that we clearly would have all been having otherwise.

If it helps at all, the self-service restaurants I recall frequenting in the 80s are MacDonalds, Wimpy, John Lewis, British Home Stores, Dickens & Jones and those at various stately homes and similar attractions. I do not know which ones have the signs, although I CAN say that I have just asked my mother and she remembers the signs too, so at least I know I didn't imagine them, even if I can't prove it to MN!

ithakabythesea · 03/04/2017 20:50

I jusy assumed that everyone got a tablw 1st, therefore the people in the queue in front of me would also have a table to go to already.

Yup, I am bemused that anyone wouldn't make sure they had a table before they ordered their food. If there were no tables, I'd go elsewhere before I ordered my food - but daft to queue, get food, then find you've nowhere to sit.

I live in Scotland so there is always plenty of excess clothing to drape over chairs if necessary - every day is a cardi day!

reuset · 03/04/2017 21:00

I'm not sure of the exact wording, but the gist was that it was clarifying the rule that you get your food and THEN sit down

Oh dear that you're not sure. You and plantpot have been living a life under misapprehension. Sad It meant you don't order from your table, no table service! You can leave other members of your party seated, you don't all need to go up to order.

Did it also say "Reserving a table (with a human, animal or coat - yes we know all the tricks) is strictly prohibited, offenders WILL be removed from the cafeteria forthwith" Grin

SabineUndine · 03/04/2017 21:06

User if you are eating alone you can't bag a seat. You have to hope there's a table left and if the café is full of selfish people grabbing seats before they need them, you are more likely to be out of luck. It infuriates me that people fill up tables for 10 minutes before they need them and it must drive cafe owners wild.

LonginesPrime · 03/04/2017 21:08

Haha - well I will then!

Next time I go to a self-service restaurant, I'm going to take every coat my family owns...then you'll all be sorry! Grin

Absintheshots · 03/04/2017 21:14

It makes more sense to grab a table, decide what you are ordering then go and order, than hesitating for ever about your order and delaying the whole queue, be hindered by all your luggage when you are trying to reach your purse. It makes no sense at all.

If you have been shopping, how do you even carry a tray with your coffee/cake AND your carrier bags? I am amazed that some people seem to think that's the best and easiest option?

ninnypoo · 03/04/2017 21:17

When I'm with someone else I do this but when I'm on my own (more often) I get far too annoyed about it! Particularly when I've queued, got my tray with a hot drink then have to walk around for ages trying to find somewhere to sit.

Laura2507 · 03/04/2017 21:26

I must have missed this in the rule book of life.

I honestly thought it was some sort of written rule you find a table FIRST, then get your food. Because what happens if you can't find a table after you got your food. You could be stood around whilst your food and drinks go cold!
And I always panic when I'm on my own as I have to get my food first, then find a table, and I panic about what to do if no tables free.

Either way, if we all stuck to the same rule then it wouldn't be a problem. But it's the mix of rules that's throwing everyone out of sync with table priority!

LonginesPrime · 03/04/2017 21:50

Either way, if we all stuck to the same rule then it wouldn't be a problem. But it's the mix of rules that's throwing everyone out of sync with table priority!

Absolutely! which is why we should bring back the signs

P1nkSparkles · 03/04/2017 21:56

I never know this was a thing.... I would assume everyone in the queue had already claimed a table.

If I'm meeting someone we usually sit down & then go up one at a time or if I was on my own I would leave a low value item at the table to indicate I was coming back.... are we 100% sure there are no regional variances on this?? I know no one who does any different.

I'm even more confused as our NCT group often like to go out en-masse and we'll quite often go to different cafes and self service places. As there are a few of us we usually ring ahead earlier in the day & have always arrived to find that a table has been reserved for us... so my understanding was that they expect you to have a table first...

lottieandmia · 03/04/2017 22:01

' It's not a matter of waiting your turn, whoever gets to the cafe first gets the table!'

No, for heavens sake. If you're in a queue waiting what often happens is that people come in behind and grab tables, instead of buying their food and then sitting. I have no idea how people can justify to themselves that this is ok.

lottieandmia · 03/04/2017 22:03

The only places where it's correct to sit first are places with waiter service. Ie, places where you can reserve tables in advance.

lottieandmia · 03/04/2017 22:05

'What happens if you can't find a table after you got your food. You could be stood around whilst your food and drinks go cold!'

Yes which is why people shouldn't reserve tables.

paxillin · 03/04/2017 22:05

No, you just join a hogger. One without food but with an attractive table, a large one by the window.

lottieandmia · 03/04/2017 22:08

Pax - yep you are exactly right. The main reason people do it is to get the prime tables.

reuset · 03/04/2017 22:11

I've already explained the signs, longine Grin

Bit bloomin' obvious to tell the single person they must order food before sitting down. They're going to get a bit hungry before they realise nobody is coming to take their order!

Pinksparkles it isn't a thing, first I've heard of it on here. Majority here are in agreement also. Apparently a few people misinterpreted some instructional signs, about no table service, they claim to have seen back in the 1980s Wink Though they can't remember the wording, alas.

LonginesPrime · 03/04/2017 22:13

You weren't there, reuset, you weren't there...

reuset · 03/04/2017 22:20

You weren't there, reuset, you weren't there...

In the 1980s. Confused I hate to admit my age, but I certainly was. And as you can't remember detail anyway, that's a whole lot of use isn't it.

The signs were about lack of table service, not prohibiting table reservation, or they would have specified. A single person couldn't very sit before ordering anyway, it would be a nonsense. Grin Do think about it.

Beingsued · 03/04/2017 22:28

Longines I definitely had those signs in my area years ago and we have an independent coffee shop that has a sign to ask people not to reserve tables before buying food.

BusyBeez99 · 03/04/2017 22:30

McDonald's in the 80s you couldn't sit down until you had food

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