to think you "PTA mummies" will love this and it was definitely written by a MN-etter

[ChickenVindaloo2]

Facebook post: (disclaimer - I am neither a mother nor a PTA member!). "Eleventy billion" --> written by one of us MN lot!
Here goes...

So, shall we talk about the dreaded ‘PTA Mummies’? God, they’re annoying bitches, aren’t they, with their endless raffle tickets, and coffee mornings, and Race Nights, and Wine and Cheese Nights.

Actually, the ‘Let’s Kick The PTA Mummies’ thing gets right on this Mummy’s tits. They’re easy targets, aren’t they, the PTA Mummies? Bossy, smug, AND they think they’re important just because they are allowed in the staffroom sometimes. Mummy used to think the same about them, until she foolishly (drunkenly) agreed to join the PTA, and then somehow ended up spending two years as the PTA Chair, until her soul was crushed and all faith in humanity sucked out of her. So this is what it’s really like being a PTA Mummy versus the myths about the Tyrant Queen Of The Raffle Tickets:

Yes, the PTA mummies are quite pally with some of the teachers. After Mrs Harrison and the PTA Mummies have had to minister to little Olly Johnson at the school fete because his mummy thinks PTA events basically only exist to provide her with cheap childcare at the weekends, so she dropped him off clutching a fiver and she swanned off to the gym, finally returning half an hour after the fete finished, by which time Olly had spent the lot on the tuckshop and was puking the rainbow, a certain solidarity is born. And yes, the PTA Mummies are a tiny bit smug about being allowed into the staffroom sometimes, which let’s face it, was like a portal to another world when you were at school, so it is quite exciting to be allowed in and it is literally the ONLY perk of being on the PTA, even if it turns out to be a bit shit really and very beige, with uncomfortable chairs and unflattering lighting and a lingering scent of bad coffee and broken dreams.

The PTA Mummies send eleventy billion passive aggressive emails. Yes. Yes, they do. They send eleventy billion emails because they are desperately trying to persuade someone, anyone, to volunteer at the event they are organising to raise funds for the school- funds to pay for school trips, and computers, and equipment, and books, and all the other things the school needs, but can’t afford with their limited budget. School trips, computers, equipment and books that everybody’s children benefit from, not just the PTA Mummies’ children. And the emails ARE quite passive aggressive, it’s true, because it is frowned upon to send emails saying “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL SOME OF YOU LAZY FUCKERS STEP UP AND OFFER TO HELP” because they’re good, the PTA Mummies, they have yards of bunting and staple guns and they’re not afraid to use them, and they’re absolute whizzes at transforming a municipal hall into Santa’s Grotto or a cocktail bar using only fairy lights and sellotape, but they cannot run an event for 100 people with only three volunteers, and believe you me, they have heard ALL the excuses about why other parents can’t possibly help, including this Mummy’s personal favourite of “I can’t be expected to spare the time to help with that, I have TWO CHILDREN, you know!” If every parent in every school volunteered to help at one event a year, which probably would actually involve no more than two or three hours of their time A YEAR, then the PTA Mummies would probably send a lot fewer emails, and the emails they did send would be much happier.

Oh, and they’re a bit bloody perfect too, aren’t they, the PTA Mummies? Rocking up at the school barbecue with their vats of homemade houmous, or boxes and boxes of cakes at the coffee mornings? Really, who are they trying to show off to? Or, maybe it’s because all the vegetarians moaned at last year’s barbecue about being fobbed off with boring veggie burgers again, and so the PTA Mummies tried to come up with a more interesting alternative, but houmous is expensive and every event is run on a shoestring, and so they found a cheap recipe to make your own houmous, but they did it last night when they were pissed and now their whole kitchen is sprayed with houmous and they are hungover to fuck and will be chipping houmous off the ceiling for months because actually, they’re only human, and as they smile brightly at you, all they can think of is a medicinal pork pie.

And remember why they’re trying to flog the raffle tickets and pushing the coffee mornings and asking for tombola prizes- it’s for your kids. Remember as well that most people these days work at least part time, if not full time, and these dreadful PTA Mummies are trying to fit the fundraising for the school in around their real jobs and families. Their own children wander abandoned round the PTA events- their mums never see them win the Hook-A-Duck or the Beat the Goalie, because their mums are in the kitchen washing up 200 tea cups, and lying to the treasurer that absolutely they have done a risk assessment, and answering everybody’s questions about what needs done next and what goes where and who’s doing what, and thinking that if they ever, EVER see another fucking raffle ticket again in their life, they will go stark staring mad!

So, PTA Mummies- you are absolute fucking superstars. You help keep the schools running and provide a better education for everyone’s kids. So buy their raffle tickets, and give them a nod of recognition for all they do, along with all the other people who volunteer in schools in other ways. You are all awesome, and fuck anyone who says otherwise. You. Are. Legends. Xxxx

My job involves fundraising, and hardcare community development work with people living in some of the most deprived areas of the country. I am not ever going to fuss around organising handbag selling and prosecco parties or running a stall where cakes are sold for a fraction of a cost of the ingredients that made them in order to pay for "Breakfast with Santa" etc.

DH does the coconut shy every year at the school fair because he likes it and sees it as a contribution to school community making not fundraising. I would happily write funding bids for things the school needed, because it's an effective use of my skills and time. I put £20 each term in the envelope sent home for art materials.

That blog does nothing apart from reinforce the cliquey notion of the PTA.

It's a shame something that can be so fun is so divisive isn't it?

I work shifts. My husband works away a lot. I volunteer in a charity shop & I volunteer on the PTA. I can only do this because I work shifts. I don't know how I'd do it if I worked 8-5.

I don't look down on parents who don't work and don't help. I guess they have their own stuff going on. Our PTA is 60/40 women/men and everyone works outside the home.

I like being part of it. I've made some awesome friends, benefited from business contacts and we often nip to the pub after school pick up on a Friday on the rare chance we get to do pick ups. And we invite all the parents in every class. It's really sociable. I love it (and I hate most things TBH).

My job involves fundraising, and hardcare community development work with people living in some of the most deprived areas of the country. I am not ever going to fuss around organising handbag selling and prosecco parties or running a stall where cakes are sold for a fraction of a cost of the ingredients that made them in order to pay for "Breakfast with Santa" etc.

I don't know if you meant to big up or belittle PTAs from your post, ALittleMop, but the PTA in my DS's primary was not about prosecco parties or handbag selling. It was a school where 70%+ were on FSM, and while the school was brilliant, and automatically subsidised things like school trips for all the children, that money had to come from somewhere.

I'm PTA treasurer and give up my time on fair days and to run the discos. I work full time and travel for my work and pitched in after attending the first meeting when my child started school to find out what it was all about. I don't do it to be smug. I do it because my child benefits from those new laptops, the playground equipment, the trips - all the stuff the government doesn't fund and most parents don't realise would disappear.
The funding in our area is awful, and the school relies on the £25k we raise each year. That's a lot of cake sales, film clubs, quiz nights and festivals.
As treasurer, I set up the ability for people to skip all the events and just give money, to appease all those saying "if I give you £50 will you go away?" - we got £20!

Woops, I misread most of this as PITA Mummies....
Silly me

See Agatha, that is absolutely brilliant. You're talking about what you get out of it, how you are doing something fun, sociable, and that creates some positive energy.

Much more likely to get other people involved with an approach like that than the blog which berates others for not doing which they themselves something they clearly resent, rather than enjoy, and with a tone of monumental self importance.

ArcheryAnnie our school is in the proverbial leafy suburb and the PTA fundraises for nice-to-haves through as someone upthread described perfectly as "smug busywork" with an underlying hint of resentment.

If our school was raising money to do ensure kids on FSM could take part in trips I'd be more likely to help, though I'd still probably rather write a funding bid than run a disco.

Our PTA is awesome and gets nothing but abuse. Whatever they do it's deemed not good enough. They ask for very little from parents, just a couple of small voluntary donations each year (value of approx £2) for prizes for the two big events they run. Most events are ticketed so if you aren't interested don't go. The other events are open to all but outside school time so again easy to skip.

They do max 1 event a month. You can literally spend less than £5 a year and you are making all the contributions they ask for.

Despite this they are being constantly abused for not having enough tickets for events, not doing X right, not spending the money right...

Honestly PTAs can't win, ever.

Btw I'm autistic and I joined up. It was really hard but I did it. No one makes me feel weird, no one has batted an eyelid that I can't cope with helping at discos and the like due to noise and They gratefully accept the help I can offer. None of us have ever had a reserved seat for anything and we don't get special treatment.

Not all PTAs are cliquey and full of bitches.

The PTAs at our small village school were not nice, they were so fucking rude to people. I moved into the village, knew not a soul and thought joining would be a great way to meet new people. I volunteered myself and got told they didn't need me, despite them asking for volunteers. The head PTA woman looked at me as if I'd asked to spread shit in her sandwiches.
I vowed never to help at a single thing and I didn't. I always gave donations, but they could stuff their PTA up their arses
I did volunteer in the school by the way, reading. I also volunteer at the local library but the PTA can fuck right off.

Anyone who thinks this kind of thing doesn't happen is living in cloud cuckoo land.

I was a member of the PTA when my children were at primary school. Totally not the sort of thing I would have signed up for, but a friend talked me into it and I'm so glad she did, as I met some fab women who have turned into life long friends (old day DS is 17 now). It was a lot of work organising the summer and Xmas fayres and the discos, but we always had a right old laugh. And rewarded ourselves with plenty of wine after!

Ridiculous to generalise. Sure there are a few nightmare ptas but most aren't. My experience reflects the above two posts.

Sorry violet and helenas not in the woods thankfully!

I think most parents would be happy to donate a tenner a term and b left alone. I couldn't be arsed to read the whole post.

The PTA at my DC's schools were pointless. One very short email each year asking parents to open their chequebooks would have gotten them much, much more money than any of their fundraising attempts did. The vast majority of the parents were cash rich but time poor. We were all happy to hand over money, but we didn't have time to attend fundraising events. So we had the PTA acting like unappreciated martyrs while completely ignoring us when we asked them to just set up a bank account we could deposit lump sums into. It was shit, and the students suffered for it. There were many parents who would have been very happy to personally fund large projects, scholarships, put a few grand towards free school meals etc. but the PTA would block this and insist we had to donate through one of their fundraising drives. Unfortunately there's only so many chocolate bars and concert tickets you can buy.

I was once berated for not offering to make a cake for the bake sale. When I offered to donate £25 for every £1 made instead, I was rebuffed, as that wasn't 'in the spirit' of the event. An 'event' that only PTA members and teachers went to, since no one else could skip out on work mid morning to go buy a crappy little cake. So they made barely £100, and turned down what would have been £2500+ from me. Another parent I knew owned a large landscaping firm and once offered to send a few crews monthly to do maintenance work, totally free. Nope, the PTA instead expected parents to show up on the weekend and do a sub-par job of pruning and planting. It was insanity.

I've seen it happen a lot on a smaller scale. Someone who might have been happy to donate £20 if they were simply asked for money can only donate £5 because they had to go buy their kid a costume for a fancy dress day, or they spend £50 making things which then sell for £15. Or they start thinking of their time as their contribution, when their time is worth far less than the money they would have given if not asked for their time instead.

"think most parents would be happy to donate a tenner a term and b left alone. I couldn't be arsed to read the whole post."

Not in any of the schools I have tried it in over the past 15 years. They say they do. But don't actually do it. However easy it's made for them.

Can't read it but have skimmed through.
Ffs who spells hummus like that ?

Put "houmous" into Google and you'll found that thousands of people spell it like that.

I think in all corners of life you have those who believe in volunteering, and those who don't. It's ok if you're the latter, but don't assume that those in the former section of society are doing it to make you feel guilty or rub your nose in it. Don't even assume that they have bags of spare time that you don't - they just prioritise volunteering over other things.

The truth is that things don't happen if people don't volunteer, and donating £50, while extremely generous and not to be sniffed at, isn't the point. In the case of the NCT or Oxfam or any other charity I've volunteered and worked for, it's not just about raising funds, but about spreading awareness of a) the charity itself, b) the services on offer, and c) to drum up interest in volunteering, because those on the committee do gradually move on and need replacing. It's about future-proofing the good work of the charity as well as operating in the present moment.

For example, I went to an NCT-run baby group when DS was very small, and I took what I needed from it, and then when they were in need of someone to run it, I did, for the simple reason: I wanted other people to have the support and experience that I had had from the group. Volunteering is a piss-take, so it has to work both ways. If there's nothing in it for you, you won't find any joy in giving anything back.

This is a side issue though. The real issue is the lack of funding for primary schools. Our pta is now funding things that I would have thought the state would pay for like repair of buildings. That's the real scandal not that some women trying to stick their fingers in the massive damn about to burst have an attitude you don't like.

Ffs who spells hummus like that ?

Erm, most people

Totally agree that lots say they would rather donate, but when asked, most do not.
And I have made grant applications too. Most funders will not fund what we have used income from fundraising events for.

My pet hate isn't people who do not help, but people who berate what you do, tell you what you should be doing that would involve much more time, but won't help at all.

Archery Annie....You sound really angry at those parents who don't get involved. Don't you get involved so as all kids reap the rewards, I get the impression that really annoys you. Just because you want to do it, doesn't mean others have to. It's a choice thing. The school will carry on running just aswell as before. I'm absolutely of the opinion that if PTAs didn't exist, schools would find the money from somewhere.

I have zero interest in joining the PTA which is why I happily go along with whatever they say.

Posters saying that PTA members should do x,y, and z to get other people are interested... do you not see what you're saying? You're asking someone already doing their fair share to do more in orderto get you to engage. Instead of you joining and saying I want to do X,Y, Z. That's pathetic. It's the equivalent of telling a poster to ask her husband very nicely to look after the kids.

I'm absolutely of the opinion that if PTAs didn't exist, schools would find the money from somewhere.

WHere? and who would find the money? The already over stretched staff?