I need to write "cock piss surname" on someone's car. Where can I buy washable car paint today?

[DanDanDanDanDan]

Need it for tomorrow

Tia

Oh sorry, update-he did think it was funny! And he was annoyed to see he had a penalty notice (until he read it)

He didn't realise it was April first though so thought I was just doing it just because though

it's good this, isn't it? Even though we're basically listing AP quote

I'm not driving a mini metro!

Use a sausage as a breakwater

Brilliant update, OP!

It was all worth it.

Plus, we've had no end of fun on this thread

Lynn, get rid of her. She's a drunk racist. I'll tolerate one, but not both.

Glad you had a laugh OP. This thread turned in to the AP appreciation thread. Such a lot of

You know your onions

Oh, Jill. Mousse from a bowl is very nice, but to put it on a person is demented!

My foot's on a spike!!

Have some glitter.

Got your big plate Alan? :)
It's on Gold now!

Yeah, it's a 12 inch one.

Have you got my fungal foot powder? It’s a life saver you know. I’d effectively be disabled if it weren’t for these.

“All this wine nonsense! You get all these wine people, don’t you? Wine this, wine that. Let’s have a bit of red, let’s have a bit of white. Ooh, that’s a snazzy bouquet. Oh, this smells of, I don’t know, basil. Sometimes you just want to say, sod all this wine, just give me a pint of… mineral water.”

Wings. They're only the band the Beatles could have been.

I didn't realise how many phrases AP actually has. Hilarious thread.

“I’m gonna hump ya. Like Deputy Dog… would hump ya.”

“There’s never any graffiti in the hotel. Although in the Gents a couple of weeks a go I did see someone had drawn a lady’s part. Quite detailed. The guy obviously had talent.”

'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!".

School for the deaf... so does that mean there will be noise or there won't be noise?

“This chemical toilet is a Saniflow 33, now this little babe can cope with anything, and I mean anything. Earlier on I put in a pound of mashed up Dundee cake, let’s take a look… not a trace! Peace of mind I’m sure, especially if you have elderly relatives on board.”

HELPMEICAN'TSTOPQUOTINGALANPARTRIDGE!!!!!!!

Not my words, Carol - the words of Top Gear magazine.

Your little finger just touched it..

Crying. I forgot about the Deputy Dawg one.