To be fuming with school.....

[Inthebathtub]

DD is 13 and as teenagers do, filling out in all the areas you'd expect a girl to. She has 2 pairs of school trousers that were bought in line with the school policy of no leggings or skinny leg trousers.
I've noticed they've become a bit snug around her bottom and thighs recently and as I literally live in a small village, don't drive, and nearest major shopping town is an hour away by bus, we've planned on a shopping outing in easter hols. I would go sooner but there's not enough time after school on the evenings I'm off and I work every sat and sun in the villiage. Had the hols not been so close I'd have ordered online but the couple of weeks also means I can put a bit aside each week and get a couple of decent pairs for her.
I get a snotty call from the teacher today complaining that DD's uniform isn't conforming to regulations as her trousers are skinny type. I explained that yes, they've got a bit snug however she's not uncomfortable and I am planning on new ones, and they're not skinny trousers, they're the same ones she's worn this school year and she is developing, and that they will be replaced asap.
Snotty teach then informs me that she must be in correct uniform by Monday or face discipline procedure for having incorrect uniform.
I once again tried to explain the above but basically they're not interested, and my daughter now faces discipline for developing and filling her trousers a little more than they'd like and for basically being from a family that doesn't have the ready cash to go straight out and replace stuff at their whim!
I am astounded, they are the same trousers that have conformed all bloody year and yes, she's put on a bit of weight developing and due to that the trousers will be replaced - when I can damned well afford it!

I eventually said I wanted to speak to someone else as this was ridiculous, and am ringing the deputy head tomorrow.

AIBU?

*Turn up in a onsie I really wouldn't care either.

What I do care about is the fact that so much goes unnoticed in schools. Bullying fir starters, stuff constantly going missing, no one noticing a kid is struggling with their work, homework going unmarked and unchecked, and on every single thread started by someone worried about what's going on they are told how pushed for time the teachers are and how they can't be everywhere at once. Yet without fail the second someone grows a cm and a skirt is 0.6 cm to short as a result suddenly amongst hundreds of students it's still noticed.

And despite the fact kids are suffering violence and nothing being done because they didn't see it or there are a million strategies that apparently don't involve disciplining a child, a pair of shoes somehow warrants isolation or being sent home.

Wtf kinda message is that. That a child has to still sir next to someone who destroys their work and is told to find a way to ignore it yet a red dot on a shoe and you feel the full force of the schools wrath.*

With the greatest of respect, Giles this does not reflect the situation in any school I have worked in.

I'm safeguarding lead and teacher. We notice, and we are often the agency to prompt action.

It's possible to notice uniform AND keep children safe. And you know, get on with the teaching.

Giles is it possible for you to move your kids to a different school? It sounds appalling if all that is going on and nothing is being done about it. It sounds nothing like my dc's comp.

What I do care about is the fact that so much goes unnoticed in schools.
That doesnt mean stop caring about uniform or expecting kids to wear it.
A school not noticing other things/not dealing with other issues is totally separate to uniform.

What people dont seem to see is that the "answer" to almost every social issue at the moment ia to put it into schools and then cut school funding.
Gone are the days where you looked after the pastoral needs of your form, taught your subject, marked work/homework and went home.
The PSHE side is growing rapidlh now radicalisation monitoring, mental health, counselling, family support etc are all now in schools.
Schools are reallocating funds to provide services that used to be done by local councils. We ask for family support and mental health aupport from outside servives and get refused because things 'arent bad enough'. I know of schools using school money to buy uniform and pay for children to come to school in a private hire minibus because home is so chaotic its the only way to get kids in. Ive watched class sizes increase so that there's fewer teachers (who cost more than support staff) so money can be spent employing mentors for vulnerable kids. Instead of marking in my PPA time, i spent it interviewing children involved in a bullying incident with a colleague. Thats 2 teachers using time meant for planning and assessing teaching doing investigations for bullying thay would ordinarily be picked up by a pastoral member of staff (which have dropped in recent yeara due to money). Thats now stuff i have to do over the weekend but teachers do that day in day out. In a school of almost 2000 kids with some staff seeing kids 1 hour a week, yes some things fall through. But if anyone has a solution id love to know it.

Its very easy for people outside to sling mud and get on their high horse about schools and teachers without really having a clue.

I was talking about alot of other threads that are regularly appearing on MN.

I thought my old school was bad enough and it sounds alot like they have got worse rather than better over the years.

I'll be applying this year fir secondary and this is the exact kind of nonsense I'm. Dreading.

My dd has eczema so removing blazers when she gets to hot will be necessary unless I want her scratching and bleeding. And she shouldn't have to wait fir "permission" from teachers.

She's also skinny so all her school skirts are two or three sizes smaller than her age so any skirt fitting around the waist will likely be "too short"

She hates trousers too and we have yet to find a pair in the last 7 years that fit her comfortably.

Threads like this pretty much confirm we are going to be screwed in secondary if this is how things are going these days.

Rufus, I seem to find from talking to others that boys get away with a lot more uniform wise.

And what is it about socks?! School state only black or grey yet in summer half the girls wear white. DD hasn't dared try for fear of being told off 😉

Rufus, I seem to find from talking to others that boys get away with a lot more uniform wise.

And what is it about socks?! School state only black or grey yet in summer half the girls wear white. DD hasn't dared try for fear of being told off 😉

I spent most my primary years hiding at break times trying to avoid the other kids who took the piss out of me. No one noticed or did anything abut it. Dare to leave an apple in your lunch box you'd be sent back to finish it though.

I was literally subjected to hours in shoe shops trying to make suitable school shoes fit (I was undergoing physio on my feet) . Took two hours maybe more each time to faff about trying to get shoes fitted.

If I could have worn ankle boots or trainers I'd have been fine.

Far to much emphasis was spent and clearly still is on uniform.

Giles I hate the no-taking-blazers off rule. Sitting with a blazer on in a sweltering classroom in summer for 6 hours? ! Poor kids. They come home sweating. Blazer needs washing more regularly too....

Giles I hate the no-taking-blazers off rule. Sitting with a blazer on in a sweltering classroom in summer for 6 hours? ! Poor kids. They come home sweating. Blazer needs washing more regularly too....

By the way, I apologise if anyone's seeing my posts twice as I am. Maybe it's just my phone 😉

Ha metal It's OK it happens.

I have always wondered what the problem with removing blazers is.

I mean if it's because the shirts are unsuitable and see through then why are they part of the uniform.

Why are you making people pay for logos on shirts at 4 times the cost of a supermarket when no one's going to see it as blazers can't come off?

And why on MN do people never question this shit and turn into sheep when a school says something. Sometimes I wonder if it's all a game to see just how far they can push people befire someone says "hang on a minute"

There was a recent thread where girls were made to put joggers on when leaving after pe when boys can just wear their shorts.

Giles Good point. DD can actually wear any plain white shirt, school don't do logo ones, so good old Asda it is! I guess the blazer thing is just because it looks smarter on, but let's face it, when it's super hot, it's just really unfair. Some teachers are quite amenable and the kids are allowed to remove them.

That thread about the joggers sounds ridiculous though. Talk about making girls feel even more self conscious than the world already makes them feel!

I remember another one metal

Where's teachers would stand outside the gates in gloves hats and coats and pounce on any child walking up to the gates wearing a coat as coats were not permitted. Just blazers.

And still there are the "rules are rules" crew.

Not forgetting the one about the rural schools where kids frequently walk over a mile to school along country lanes and foot paths and we're not allowed to wear any firm of walking boot and change in school to school shoes.

Giles I have a friend whose children went to a school with a 'no coats' rule. Disgusting. DD walks 35 minutes to school, there's no WAY she would be walking in a crappy thin blazer in winter wind and rain. Her school demand coats are taken off and carried as soon as they get inside but they can be worn outside at break and lunch.

(Hats, scarves and gloves are another thing though. It's far too uncool to wear those so she'd rather freeze.)

Also DD school only allow shoes, not boots. Good job Clarks do extremely sturdy and chunky school shoes. We're already onto our second pair since September.

Most secondaries near me have blazers and ive never heard the 'you cant remove your blazer' rule.

Lots have the view that the school jumper is optional and the blazer is compulsory. If youre too hot you remove the jumper, not wear jumper and no blazer.

We expect our kids to have blazers with them and wear them to assembly (which is in an air conditioned hall for 15 mins). Never would cross my mind to insist kids sit in blazers during lessons. 32 kids in an average classroom gets unbarably warm for everyone (and depending on the year group slightly sweaty smelling). Unsurprisingly, i also take my blazer off.

Fairytalesarebullshit
My apologies, I didn't respond to your kind offer. However because of the reasons stated in the update, it's not necessary - as you are obviously a kind hearted person who wishes to help others in need, could you donate the amount to your favourite charity instead?

As for the continued bashing about too tight etc - if you can't be bothered to read the thread correctly it would seem I'm wasting my time keep repeating myself.
Body shaming - I don't think in this instance that the teacher was body shaming, I understand the comments made as such and at school myself many moons ago think that it did happen.
The root of the matter was we were told the uniform policy was broken and discipline would occur if the situation was not rectified - the uniform policy wasn't broken. And the situation is resolved.
And if you'll excuse me my break is over in my job (excuse) in the village I live in (oh look another excuse) and I must return to work until later when the shops will be closed (oooh another massive excuse!)
I fear the wheels on this bandwagon may buckle soon

Maisy secondary here have very strict views on not taking the blazer off. I think it's daft, but still. School only have blazers, no jumpers.

No jumper

Only blazer and they have to wait for permission to remove them

metalmum15
Wow. Thats silly.
As you can from all my posts on uniform threads I'm a massive supporter of uniform and enforcing it.
And i still cannot fathom why a school wouldnt allow kids to remove their blazers.

At most schools ive worked in the 'rule' is that students ask to remove their blazer. Though in reality most of us just tell our classes at the start of the year they can remove it as they need to.

Rufus Same here

Maisy Sounds like your school has a more sensible approach. I must admit, I prefer that most schools have a uniform now. Kids look smarter. I have family abroad who often comment how smart all the children look when they come to visit, and wish their schools had uniform. I never wore uniform. Consequently, I spent my school days in horrific late 80's fashion, neon plastic jewellery and sprayed up permed hair. Most of my friends wore shell suits. Enough said.

Jeezo fucking Nazareth. The woman's not force feeding her child happy meals and blue WKD! She's just waiting for a convenient time to buy school uniform.

FWIW I grew 6" in height in the space of 6 months when I was 13. What were my parents supposed to do with that? New clothes every few weeks?

Unless a child is blatantly flaunting the rules then a bit of discretion should be used. And on no account should anyone at school be doing anything to draw attention to the shape of a teenage girl - puberty is hard enough without authority figures piling in on how a growing girl looks in her trousers.

metalmum15
I think we do.
Perfectly possible to have a strict uniform (though as this thread proves theres quite a few people who think that girls should be allowed to wear fashionable varieties) whilst being fair.
Parents know what the uniform is. E.g. no tight trousers
Parents and students know we enforce it.
We send letters home where people routinely flout uniform.
We have kids on uniform report cards (e.g. parents send them in dressed properly but kids being kids adapt it)
If its close to a holiday then a note from home saying itll be sorted in the holiday is perfectly fine.

Working in a school where uniform and rules are clear and enforced means I can spend more time actually teaching (and chasing up an ever growing list of pastoral things) because less time is taken up policing behaviour issues.