To be fuming with school.....

[Inthebathtub]

DD is 13 and as teenagers do, filling out in all the areas you'd expect a girl to. She has 2 pairs of school trousers that were bought in line with the school policy of no leggings or skinny leg trousers.
I've noticed they've become a bit snug around her bottom and thighs recently and as I literally live in a small village, don't drive, and nearest major shopping town is an hour away by bus, we've planned on a shopping outing in easter hols. I would go sooner but there's not enough time after school on the evenings I'm off and I work every sat and sun in the villiage. Had the hols not been so close I'd have ordered online but the couple of weeks also means I can put a bit aside each week and get a couple of decent pairs for her.
I get a snotty call from the teacher today complaining that DD's uniform isn't conforming to regulations as her trousers are skinny type. I explained that yes, they've got a bit snug however she's not uncomfortable and I am planning on new ones, and they're not skinny trousers, they're the same ones she's worn this school year and she is developing, and that they will be replaced asap.
Snotty teach then informs me that she must be in correct uniform by Monday or face discipline procedure for having incorrect uniform.
I once again tried to explain the above but basically they're not interested, and my daughter now faces discipline for developing and filling her trousers a little more than they'd like and for basically being from a family that doesn't have the ready cash to go straight out and replace stuff at their whim!
I am astounded, they are the same trousers that have conformed all bloody year and yes, she's put on a bit of weight developing and due to that the trousers will be replaced - when I can damned well afford it!

I eventually said I wanted to speak to someone else as this was ridiculous, and am ringing the deputy head tomorrow.

AIBU?

[SovietKitsch]

Is it just the girls at this school getting body shamed over trousers that are snug around the bum, or it is boys too?! More bloody sexist nonsense.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Ha yes soviet

Never seen a thread saying a boy was sent home as there was too much of a bulge in his trousers.

But girls sent home for visible bras through white shirts and trousers to tight around the arse/thighs and of course short skirts.

Who are these weirdos staring at children's bodies anyway.....

[Gileswithachainsaw]

On the street you'd call the police but schools are apparently allowed to he perverts as long as it's dressed up as a uniform violation

[Ericaequites]

Thanks to the shortening of crotch length and not wearing at proper waist, women's trousers can become inappropriate very fast. Order a new pair overnight so she can have them on Monday.
Choose your battles with the school wisely. Back up the school whenever remotely possible. Your daughter needs to learn rules are rules.

[eddiemairswife]

All this 'buy them on-line, only £6 at Asda' is unhelpful.OP probably needs to take her daughter to town, to try some trousers on to get the right fit. And it might be only £6, but we don't know OP's circumstances financially. People need to be a bit more understanding.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

And why would anyone waste money on a pair trousers fir a week when they could look properly trying them on over the holidays.

Madness.

[JacquesHammer]

Crikey the rules seem very draconian. They've a strict uniform policy at DD's school BUT that goes with being utterly reasonable about it. Thank goodness!

Does it honestly matter for 5 days until the holidays?

Bonkers

[user1471467016]

Tell them to fuck off ! Really.
You are 'fuming' because they have dared to say her trousers are too tight, when they are in fact too tight.

I understand the timing is awkward and you are busy, order online. Be reasonable.

[RufusTheRenegadeReindeer]

Dd has been wearing trainers for a month

There is a week to go til easter when we can go to the shoe shop

I cant work out whether to write and request the extra week or just see if she can get away with it for another week

I appreciate that she should have shoes and your daughter should have the correct fitting trousers but it is a pain when a convenient holiday is only a week away

[RufusTheRenegadeReindeer]

I say get away with it

Its for medical reasons and has been agreed til the end of march

[SmileEachDay]

On the street you'd call the police but schools are apparently allowed to he perverts as long as it's dressed up as a uniform violation

Don't be ridiculous.

[Megatherium]

The slavish and at times fetishistic attitude that this country has to uniform - as though it is a panacea for everything from ingrained class divisions to pupils assaulting each other - is baffling



This! The sooner schools stop being anal about uniform, the better it will be for education generally because teachers will be able to spend all that time on actually teaching rather than fussing about trousers.

It's ridiculous to say that OP should order the trousers online immediately - what if her child has a further growth spurt over Easter: It makes much more sense to wait till shortly before the beginning of next term and ensure she gets some that she knows will fit properly.

[WankersHacksandThieves]

So how exactly is having slightly too tight trousers on affecting your child's and other children's education?

You know, education, the thing they are at school to get? They are not there for fashion advice, wardrobe scrutiny etc. It's a load of bollocks.

Yes, you may have known the uniform policy before she started but there needs to be a reasonableness about it. You aren't refusing to conform, just asking for a week's grace to sort it.

[heymammy]

The school cannot surely argue with "I do not have one spare penny until X date, when I will, of course, buy new trousers" (I doubt they will ask for a balance statement!)

I would email that to the head of year or whoever and state that you do not expect your dd to be sanctioned due to a changing body shape and carefully managed finances at home. Seriously, shame the fuck out of them.

[ComeOnSpring]

YABU.

Her trousers are too small. You've noticed, school has noticed.

Buy her a new pair - not driving and living in a village [eyeroll] - supermarket or internet...

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I dunno smile

If someone random person on the street cane up to me and commented on my kids trousers I'd have a few choice words to say and would log the weirdo hanging around.

A dbs check and a teacher role does not give someone the right to stare at my kids arse.

[SovietKitsch]

Makes me so cross, Giles , no wonder our young women have body issues when they're told at 13 that having grown is a reason to be put in isolation!

[pollymere]

I'd explain the full situation to dep. Head. Lack of funds combined with your daughter filling out. Don't mention distances to town etc. The first two are plenty. You are planning to purchase new ones over the holidays. End of. If you can get them online, great. Just say you've been waiting for payday.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Had a girl in my tutor group wearing very tight trousers. She says "but theyrr the same trousers uve worn since last year" and my reply was 'yes, but youve grown since then'.
I gave her a week to get it sorted and she chose to wear a skirt after a coupel of days. Interesting actually most of our girls wear skirts these days actually. It does solve a few issues

A lot of people would view that as making unpleasant body shaming remarks

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Yeah how dare you grow boobs and an arse and not hide under a fucking sack cloth

Wtf is wrong with these people. I have a small waist and a big bum. No avoiding tight unless I wear trousers so huge they fall down even with a belt and look ridiculous. Funnily enough from about 13. Get over it ffs

[Bythepowerof]

Why the eye roll ? In case you missed it the nearest town is an hour away and Op works at the weekends. And most villages don't tend to have supermarkets.

Online is wonderful if you £50 to spend on free delivery and chances are they won't arrive for Monday and may not fit/ look nice anyway. so either a waste of money if she has to wear them or back in the old ones and a shopping trip at Easter.

[MrsMackenzo]

YANBU. Send her in with the same trousers and speak to the depute, explaining everything you've said here clearly.

[Blossomdeary]

"I'd admire a school that didn't humiliate young girls and harass their parents over something so petty!" - exactly.

This whole uniform obsession deflects attention from what the schools are really there for.

I'm amazed that schools have arguments with parents and pupils about that sort of thing - they should back off and concentrate on their real job. This whole nonsense is just a catalyst and a focus for conflict, when the school could be getting on with appreciating the things that really matter - kindness and consideration for a start.

[Inthebathtub]

Not even going to comment back on the trousers too small posts, done that, been ignored, fine.
I have spoken with deputy head, her initial impression was that DD was wearing skinny leg trousers (from teacher who complained) however having inspected dd uniform herself and looked at the records of her previous uniform inspections, agrees they are in fact not skinny leg (nor so tight she's going to fucking explode out of them at any given second!!) As they are obviously straight leg and within the uniform policy, she didn't think she was about to burst the seams, or I need reporting for sending my child to school in clothes too tight, because they're not. She wasn't really interested in when/how/why the trousers shall be replaced as the uniform policy hasn't and isn't being breached (whole point of thread really!!) And said the observation was made in a corridor by a teacher and not at uniform inspection and possibly just a mistake in judgement at that time. She apologised for the initial teachers attitude.
I accept that, my big issue was with the discipline that would be handed out because of rule breaking that didn't occur, and the totally inflexible attitude and patronisation when I dared to say that she was wrong (politely btw!)
Comeonspring - eye roll for living in a village and not driving? Seriously why? It's the situation, I grew up in the village and I cannot drive because of a medical condition - I rely on public transport and need dd to try the trousers so we get the right fit for her changing shape - the shops in the nearest shopping town are closed by the time dd gets in from school, eats, gets change and we get there by bus, and as I had 2 days notice it was too late to request a change of shift at work to enable me to go at the weekend - those are actual facts not a list of excuses as previously said nor I think worthy of an eye roll - that baffles me!
Thank you for all the comments and contributions, and for the last time I don't send my child to school in clothes she is about to burst out of!!!!

[Lostmysignal]

I'm with you op! You are not being unreasonable at all for all the above reasons you have mentioned And in your previous post. So many judgemental people on here that misunderstood what you were asking. Glad it is sorted now.