To be fuming with school.....

[Inthebathtub]

DD is 13 and as teenagers do, filling out in all the areas you'd expect a girl to. She has 2 pairs of school trousers that were bought in line with the school policy of no leggings or skinny leg trousers.
I've noticed they've become a bit snug around her bottom and thighs recently and as I literally live in a small village, don't drive, and nearest major shopping town is an hour away by bus, we've planned on a shopping outing in easter hols. I would go sooner but there's not enough time after school on the evenings I'm off and I work every sat and sun in the villiage. Had the hols not been so close I'd have ordered online but the couple of weeks also means I can put a bit aside each week and get a couple of decent pairs for her.
I get a snotty call from the teacher today complaining that DD's uniform isn't conforming to regulations as her trousers are skinny type. I explained that yes, they've got a bit snug however she's not uncomfortable and I am planning on new ones, and they're not skinny trousers, they're the same ones she's worn this school year and she is developing, and that they will be replaced asap.
Snotty teach then informs me that she must be in correct uniform by Monday or face discipline procedure for having incorrect uniform.
I once again tried to explain the above but basically they're not interested, and my daughter now faces discipline for developing and filling her trousers a little more than they'd like and for basically being from a family that doesn't have the ready cash to go straight out and replace stuff at their whim!
I am astounded, they are the same trousers that have conformed all bloody year and yes, she's put on a bit of weight developing and due to that the trousers will be replaced - when I can damned well afford it!

I eventually said I wanted to speak to someone else as this was ridiculous, and am ringing the deputy head tomorrow.

AIBU?

[PennyPickle]

I wish schools would change their uniform policy to loose fitting trousers - No skinny or straight legs. That would solve a lot of uniform issues. I have had the same problem with my girls aged nearly 13 and nearly 15 recently.

The problem is peer pressure states that if you don't wear the latest fashion trend aka skin tight trousers you are made a laughing stock, humiliated and ousted from the friendship group. And, yes, all kids going through puberty will put on weight in a very short time.

[palebluesky]

Reasonable uniform policy and deliberate defiance of that is very different to this.

'Send your child elsewhere' is aggressive and unhelpful.

[Maryhadalittlelambstew]

Hmm...its a tricky one. As a PP said the school need to be firm and fair on uniform. It needs to be the same rule across the school or there'll be all sorts of complaints from other parents about unfairness etc but at the same time the school could be more understanding and allow her to get to the holidays when you've said you'll get her a new pair. I would speak to the school again, in person if possible. It seems really unfair that your DD will face disciplinary action just because she's had a growth spurt. Or if you can order one cheapish pair now that will conform with their rules and then get her another decent pair in the holidays.

[Trifleorbust]

palebluesky:

It's not. I would LOVE to be able to be completely reasonable about uniform. From a personal point of view, I would teach 30 kids looking like the cast of Oliver - I honestly don't care what they look like. The problem is that when you have a policy and you don't enforce it, it sends a message loud and clear that you don't enforce your policies. Forget uniform. Behaviour, attendance, homework, bullying - it adds up to a shit education. And that I care about.

[palebluesky]

Obviously by law schools have to have a bullying and behaviour policy but that doesn't mean common sense is removed :)

[Trifleorbust]

palebluesky:

But 'common sense' in one case equals a whole tutor time, a whole year of tutor time, reading notes from parents explaining why Amita has trainers on, why Trey's trousers have a stripe down the side, what happened to Percy's tie - it wastes time. How can I justify punishing one child and not another? I can't, and I don't have time to have debates about it every day.

[Serialweightwatcher]

I'm pretty sure the Deputy will let you keep those until after the hols - don't worry. Sure quite a few people on here don't realise what it's like to not be able to afford something ... if she had just gone back to school at the beginning of term then they could be annoyed that she had 5/6 weeks to go at, but she will be on hols soon and you can arrange new ones for then

[Universitychallenging]

Do a Daily Mail sad face and get yourself on the front page of the local rag.

Or, alternatively, order the right size of trousers online and get them delivered by Saturday so she can wear the right size trousers on Monday?

[Trifleorbust]

Serialweightwatcher:

I suspect you're right. Although I support schools implementing uniform policies to the full when they feel they must, for my own part as a teacher I have on many occasions turned a blind eye when kids have come to my classroom with a note saying they will have their new shoes next week/after the holidays. I am not soft. I know what it means.

[category12]

The poor kid's trousers are too tight. Fgs buy her a new pair before she bursts the seams.

[Dancergirl]

No wonder children don't have respect for teachers any more if parents don't back up the school.

[Wolfiefan]

Trifle speaks true!
Many teachers don't give a shiny shit whether students come to lessons in perfect uniform or not. BUT if schools have rules and teachers don't enforce them then that doesn't work. Break the rules about uniform then talking in exams and deadlines can be ignored as well.
I couldn't care less how pierced a child is or how many rings they are wearing but I can't let them ignore school rule.
Students should turn up to school ready to work. Tight trousers or hooded tops or trainers for shoes aren't appropriate.

[palebluesky]

Trifle, your last post is exactly the point really, so I don't understand the faux bewilderment about treating everyone fairly.

[ChrisYoungFuckingRocks]

My DTDs school has a strict uniform policy - grey skirt/trousers, black shoes, grey tights, tied up hair etc. And NO BOOTS! They regularly send out letter reminding parents that boots are not part of the school uniform. Yet so many DC show up at school every day wearing blue leggings, boots, loose hair etc. It's as though the parents think they're above the rules. The mind boggles.

Sorry, but I agree with others, when you saw the trousers start getting snug, it would've been easy to order some online.

[ChrisYoungFuckingRocks]

Sorry, posted too soon. I would agree however, that if there's only a week left 'till the holiday, then they could be a bit flexible. I always do my school clothes shopping in the last week of the hols, as the DC invariably have a growth spurt during the hols, and if I buy them new clothes before the hols, they won't necessarily fit after the hols.

[chocatoo]

I think the deputy will be more helpful. I would just say that they've been ordered and that you are waiting for delivery.

[Trifleorbust]

palebluesky:

There's a difference between formal and informal mechanisms. The school has to be seen to be fair. I can get away, informally, with using my discretion.

[palebluesky]

Fair isn't the same as 'identical' :)

[Trifleorbust]

palebluesky:

No, but it looks like it is. If I want avoid having lots of very time-consuming discussions about why I can't disclose one student's personal circumstances to other students (and their parents) then in need to be as consistent as I can be!

[TalkingofMichaelAngel0]

She will be far moe embarrassed if the trousers rip at the seams because they are too small. Thats happened twice at my school this week.

Get her a skirt. Much easier.

[RainbowPastel]

This wouldn't have happened over night. The poor girl needs trousers that fit just order them online. I back the school 100% when it comes to uniform rules.

[Lallypopstick]

Pretty creepy that two people have asked for a photo - of a 13 year old girl in tight trousers. Why???

[RhiWrites]

I thought that, Lally. Some people just aren't thinking. This isn't a parking thread or a weird rash. No pics.

I think it's reasonable to give parents some leeway to replace outgrown uniform which isn't the same as incorrect uniform.

[pho3be]

Could she not wear a skirt until end of term?
Or undo the seams, theres usually a cm or so to be had

[NapQueen]

Not of a 13 year old girl! Of the trousers on. Maybe mid thigh to ankle. For opiniom purposes.

Weird that you would assume the pic would be for anything else tbh.