AIBU to make my mother clean up her own accident?

[LaLaCascada]

For many years my Mum has had a bit of a problem with sudden urge to wee. She's 70 and has given birth twice. She hates going to the doctor and has always suffered a variety of ailments about which there is much moaning and zero action.

During a recent visit to my parents I was driving my mum home from Sainsbury's in a rather nice rented car. It's only about a mile but there was a bit of school traffic so we had to sit a few minutes - about 1 song on the radio so definitely less than 5 mins- and she started panicking and saying get me home I really need the loo. I said hang on, it's only two more turns, keep calm and look the traffic is moving now, she snapped it's too late, I've wet meself. and then went silent.

Back at her house she went straight to the bathroom and sorted herself out while I unpacked the shopping and put the kettle on. When she came out I said have a coffee and where's some stuff to clean the car.

Then I said come on and she made a big show with getting her walking stick and hobbling to the car parked on the drive - 20 steps?- as I followed with the kitchen roll and keys. I unlocked the car and waited a moment and when she didn't respond I said clean the seat please which she did do but with a lot of huff and puff. My dad and husband and daughter were there and noticed us going out to the car but I just said we had to get something. Then we carried on the evening like normal. DH noticed things were a bit off but just assumed a little disagreement had happened.

At no point was I rude or shouty or anything. I was a bit cheesed off because we had a long journey the next day which meant I would sit there when DH was driving but it wasn't like she puked or poohed.

I spent the night researching because I care and don't want my mum to live like this and did encourage Mum to make a doctor's appointment and she is now getting some help that made her worse at first but she now is improving a bit. I haven't said anything about it until now so as not to embarrass my mum. HOWEVER there has been a certain chill since it happened. It hasn't been mentioned except to say the doctor knows about it and the making of various follow up appointments.

So, was I being unreasonable to expect her to clean up her own urine?

You should feel embarrassed about how you have treated your Mum - it's appalling!

She is not a cat or a child purposely smearing, she is an older lady who cannot control her bladder - who told you she needed to go & you told her to wait and then humiliated her when she had an accident - horrendous!!

Wow. You just get worse and worse!

I'm an atheist.
Hot beverage - really has nobody seen The Big Bang Theory?

I really really hope this is a wind up to ger everyone frothing (and given lack of previous posting history it might be) I hate to think of somebody being so cruel to a vulnerable person, let alone their own mother.

So your toddler pooed and you made her clear it up?

You sound fucking wonderful.

Your poor Mum. Your poor DD.

She needed to go but there wasn't anywhere nearer than home unless she did it on the verge outside the school in front of the children going home?

Tell her you're sorry.

What were you expecting, posting what you did on here? Did you think posters would sympathise with you? That we would think you are a magnificent human being for humiliating an elderly woman?

Your poor mother. She didn't do it on purpose, and you treated her like a naughty child.

Ok if you aren't the wee troll, you genuinely aren't arsed are you?
'Not freaking embarrassing?' You sound like a sullen teen.
Oh and so you know - Being a HCP is often worse when things go wrong for us. It makes us vulnerable, we are often less likely to seek help for embarrassing conditions too so don't minimise.
Uch.

She isn't your child to 'teach',though. I don't think it's fair to treat another adult like that, trying to teach them lessons and make them ashamed of themselves.

It was metaphorical rubbing her nose in it.

It is different dealing with your own body weaknesses, facing up to aging, being embarrassed in front of your own family,very different to dealing with it professionally

I'm an atheist. Hot beverage - really has nobody seen The Big Bang Theory?

So you are a troll. Sitting there at home getting some weird sexual gratification?

Are you Male and getting all wanky now? You need medical help.

Yabu how awful of you

After 250+ posts telling you how terrible, humiliating and hateful your actions were and that they were borderline abusive are you seriously still trying to justify yourself?

Lack of posting history is because I name changed just in case of the Daily Fucking Mail.

You just don't care do you?

No wonder you name changed.

Congratulations for not wiping your mum's face in a car seat full of her own urine!

Make it up to her like previous posters have said go round to hers (don't take her out if she I fearful of going out right now) and take cake and apologise and say sorry for being a right doofus.

You need to actually think and decide what you want to say

OP. Now is your opportunity to tell us all you're joking.

Oh your poor mum.
How mean you are OP.

The OP took away her mothers dignity. Why would doing that to another person be ok?

Not so.

Did you miss the bit where OP says her mother was perfectly capable of sorting / cleaning herself up on arriving home?

So mother was able to do one task but not the other? Muddled logic

OP: AIBU?

Everyone: yes

OP: but....

Is anybody else confused?

Is being an atheist supposed to explain this better to us?

I agree with Hemi. You were trying metaphorically to rub her nose in it. You must be a very bitter person. Like others, I am hoping this is a troll post because otherwise the cruelty of your behaviour is sickening.

When I'm 70 and puss myself in my daughter's car, accidentally, this is how I'd like to think she would react to that.

DIGNITY.
KINDNESS.
COMPASSION.

Comparing your mother to a cat?

TBH I'd like to think that when my pelvic floor gives way (and to be fair it's a literal shit show since DD1) then I'd always have the pride to clear up the mess myself and not expect others, not least my daughters, do it for me.

In fact I might print and keep the thread so I remind myself in later years.

Dementia = different story, when just like a baby they can't help it. Until then, no-one will be clearing up my bodily spillages except me and I won't be expecting any different.

Piss.
But when I'm 70 I might puss too.

Somebody called unChristian so I mentioned I'm athiest. No confusion.