Toddlers on a plane

[gingertigercat]

I want to see how others would react in my situation or if my lack of sleep led to me being unreasonable.

On a rather long and early flight, hence the lack of sleep, I had a toddler behind me. The father was asleep in a separate row. The mother was asleep sprawled over 2 seats and the grandmother was looking after the toddler who was mainly on her lap. The whole flight he kicked our chairs, smacked the seats, grabbed at us, stuck his head through the gaps, and clambered between his grans lap and over his mum. He was loud throughout the flight. The gran did tell him a few times to stop smacking the seats but it did nothing.

I think had the mum just been asleep in her own seat there would have been much less disruption. I would have said something but I felt bad seeing as the gran wasn't the parent and I'm not very confrontational.

I understand toddlers can be hard work and the parents were probably exhausted but surely it shouldn't have been at other passengers expense? What would other people do in this situation?

Given that children are allowed in first class, it's fairly pointless and rather rude to tell people they should fly first class if they don't want to put up with children being a pain

DD always gets the kicking toddler behind her because she always has the window seat, and in our experience parents usually put their toddler in the window seat as well. Until someone has had this happen to them I don't think they fully understand just how irritating and rage inducing it is to be in a seat that is being kicked for several hours.

Sorry not trying to be rude at all. I know they're allowed but maybe less likely to be as many of them there. I could say it could be perceived to be rather rude for someone to tell me not to fly with DS incase he annoys people. It's just differing opinions

I have a three year old, I'm a frequent flyer and I wouldn't dream of sleeping whilst flying with her. We go armed with sticker books galore, new toys, snacks, a loaded iPad etc etc. if she starts to get antsy I walk the plane with her to keep her distracted.

If I'm with DH we do an hour on an hour off each.

It's just not acceptable to let your child ruin a flight for others.

YANBU.

I wasn't necessarily addressing you - but it's hailed as a magic solution for the problem when in reality, people are just as likely to be disturbed.

Family areas are the way to go I think - then parents don't have to worry about 'tutting'. I know adults can be annoying too but they don't tend to kick seats and the noise they make isn't at that painful high pitch

Livia I'd agree, family areas would be good. I know I'm going to be so worried about DS kicking off and pissing people off. We too will also be armed with lots to keep him occupied, and I wouldn't dream of sleeping on a flight unless DP was awake to look after him. If we were in a family area I'd relax slightly on this and know people more likely to be annoyed where elsewhere. When I hear another child kicking off, I'm usually just glad it's not mine!

As cabin crew I could just imagine sitting around the briefing table seeing doing working positions. I reckon we'd have to draw straws for a 'family area'

Takes me back to the old days when there used to be smoking also.... The smokers would be sent down the back through the smog to work with their fellow chimneys

Taking shoes off little ones who kick seats helps.

I agree with Livia in that family areas would be a great idea (god bless the quiet carriage on trains) but I can't see it happening. How many seats would you allocate to a family area and how many to the non family area? Once the family area is full, do you ban families from taking seats in the non family area, potentially meaning the plane flies off with more empty seats than it otherwise would have, and thereby running at a loss, which could lead to less flights on a particular route over a period of time? If there were no seats left in the non family area, could a single person get a reduction for having to fly in the family area?

I'd love to see an airline give it a go on a couple of long haul flights, but I'm not holding my breath.

"Taking shoes off little ones who kick seats helps."

That is a really sensible idea.

Poor child, and poor gran. There is no doubt in my mind that the parents are the one to blame. We all know what children are like, they are the best they can be, and they follow their impulses. I don't understand how the parents can just throw all their responsibility into the arms of the gran, and go to sleep.

Of course you were annoyed, who wouldn't be? If someone kept kicking my seat, I wouldn't be so patient, but instead of doing the right thing, which is waking up the parents, and asking them to take responsibility for their offspring, we just sit by, and get even more annoyed, because we don't want to create a conflict, in case the parents got mad.

I think the grandmother should have woken the parents, and told them that she couldn't control the child, then hopefully the parents would step up their game, although I doubt it.

I have travelled by plane, alone with my three children, then 3, 5, and 8 years old. During the 3 hour flight, there was NO problem what so ever. Why? Because we came prepared. First of all, I had taken time, to explain to the kids how to behave around other people, hard to understand for the 3 year old I know, but that combined with a small reward when we landed, AND some things to keep them activated, did the trick. The oldest one was reading most of the flight, Lucky Luke and Asterix saw to that. The other two passed time with paper and crayons, and a nice stewardess came by with some stickers that they have for children on board. No problems at all. What most children want, is attention from grown ups, especially their parents.
Be prepared!

Portable DVD players are very useful I found!

I don't like people much in general, so on flights I have earplugs and a eyemask to make them all disappear.
Screeching toddlers don't bother me for that reason.
Kicking my seat is different though and I won't tolerate that.
My DP politely asked a father to stop his toddler kicking his seat once (back trouble, it was really painful as well as bloody annoying) the guy decided it was still not his job so my DP lost it and told him that every time his kid kicked the seat, he would kick the father.
As if by magic, daddy was suddenly able to control his kid. Funny that.

'DP lost it and told him that every time his kid kicked the seat, he would kick the father.'

You think a child kicking a seat is unacceptable but threats of violence are fine.....ok

What do people think about drunk passengers? Actually children never bother me - it's the adults! On one flight a man got drunker and drunker and then kept turning to look at me and leaned in, collapsing in a fit of giggles each time. After a while his wife became annoyed - it did look like he was flirting.

You think a child kicking a seat is unacceptable but threats of violence are fine.....ok

You think checking out of parenting to the point that a normally reasonable and non aggressive man in a lot of pain snaps is OK?

Portable DVD players

People still use these?!?

Yes my husband uses a portable DVD player while he does the ironing! He has got through all the seasons of Game of Thrones since Christmas!

A couple of years without a holiday abroad doesn't sound like too much of a hardship to me

because it isn't :)

We really enjoyed our trips to Scotland where we could throw everything in the car. We did go overseas to visit friends but it was only an hour or so on the plane and ds was fine for those trips.

I don't like long flights myself and particularly hate being "stacked" over Heathrow. I get serious cabin fever. If I hate it, I can't imagine how some toddlers fare.

The reason toddler tantrums at the airport or on the plane are so wearing is we all want to throw one, but can't. Searched, drinks taken off, hot, dry air, endless boredom, too many people too close, uncomfortable seats and told what to do every five minutes. It is amazing air rage is as rare as it is.

We still use portable DVD players (well we did when the children were little - the youngest is 8 now). I don't like to put films on our iPads because they take up too much space.

I guess people do prefer my 2yo screaming to kicking then.
I don't think anyone leaves a child's shoes on while flying.
My colleagues both had to travel long haul for work. They have two preschoolers so took Granny with them for childcare (I doubt this was them though). The alternative is either one of them puts their career on hold, or the children are left with Granny, who they knew well enough for a day but not a week - younger one is only 1.

We travel to see our children's birth area, We want them to have early memories of it as non-adopted children would. Indeed I went alone with DC1 aged 2 when we adopted DC2. I will forever bless the flight attendant who said in a very loud voice "Bless he's tired" when DC1 was screaming his head off despite cuddles, distraction etc. He was and dropped off shortly after.

As I say, you can't always control your children but you can always try to.

I guess people do prefer my 2yo screaming to kicking then.

Is screaming the only alternative for kicking for you 2yo? What a stressy life!

"What do people think about drunk passengers?"

I have been fortunate enough not to have ever been on a plane with a drunk passenger.

Is screaming the only alternative for kicking for you 2yo?
Apparently she thinks it is when either told not to or physically restrained on an airplane.
Obviously she manages other things the rest of the time but as I've said, our flight the other day was very turbulent and while I'm sure she'd have preferred walking up and down, we were confined to seats almost all the time.

The flight attendant did take pity on me (and neighbouring seats) when I took her to the loo to change a very smelly nappy just as the seat belt sign came on - don't think anyone would have wanted to wait the next half an hour as it turned out for us to change it. She just warned us to be careful and hustled us back when we'd finished.

We (and neighbours) were just lucky given the turbulence that the travel sick medicine did work on the 5 yo who has a bad record of travel sickness.