I am scared of the kind of society we are becoming?

[brasty]

More and more as a society we seem to be losing empathy for people who are struggling. From those on benefits, to those in overcrowded houses, to disabled and ill people. If individuals think they would not find themselves in that situation, then any empathy seems to disappear.

Not everyone has the same personal resources. Some people are struggling just to get through every day and so eating healthily is not a priority. It is not accident that those with severe mental health problems tend to have worse physical health and higher levels of harmful behavior such as smoking.

Being chronically disabled is shit and makes life much much harder than those who have never experienced it realise. And yes someone may be "lucky" to have social housing, but how about having some empathy if they are struggling in an overcrowded house.

It scares me. This lack of empathy has real affects, Cuts are being made to benefits for disabled people, only because most people simply don't care enough.

And isn't reflecting on how you are helping people a little smug

Wow. Reflecting on how someone helps others shows that there are great people out there who do give a shit.

I'm cynical. I'm also loving and helpful to those I love. I choose to believe that most people have self-interest at the heart of them, sometimes they will of course help others but very few people are genuinely good and have pure motives for everything they do. It doesn't mean that most people are bad or evil, but all the empathy in the world doesn't make you a good person either.

Does it matter what someone's motives are if they are doing good? Why is that anyone's business but their own.

"No, no please do not feed me unless your motives are pure" said NO starving person ever!

You can't always help others who you don't know, because you don't know them as an individual, or know their past. Look at the recent news of the couple who took a homeless person into their home, and were repaid with the murder of a mother and her son. That's why charities exist, so we can give money to people who investigate who needs help, and how that help needs to be given. But then you get people dictating about what charities and causes you should give to. I think as a country we are probably one of the most generous when it comes to donating money. Just because you don't give your time and money, it doesn't mean you have no empathy. Life is such that you barely have the time and energy to devote to family and friends, never mind spending ten minutes out of your day worrying about others I'm afraid.

It's fine but 'look at me, I fed a homeless person because I'm awesome' shows that it's not empathy that drives that act, it's a need to feel smug.
Same result so great but please don't make out that people do these works purely because they are angels, and spend their lives being kept awake at night worrying about the plight of strangers. Some do but some want others to think they do.

To take it to the absolute extreme we all know where a particular person raised millions for charity but was the worst kind of human being imaginable behind closed doors. Helping others doesn't exclude someone from being truly evil.

That was an extreme case of course but compared to George Michael who gave away a lot of money but on the proviso it wasn't made public.

Nobody is purely one thing or another. Most people are just trying to get through their lives without causing too much stress to them or others.

(And I'm not comparing anyone to JS - nobody CAN compare to that evil piece of shit)

The argument that people only enter the caring professions because they want to help is not always true. My friend became a nurse and now earns more than twice what she earned previously and could have earned in any other way. She also earns more than most of the graduates I know. She didn't do a degree. I am certain she became a nurse it because she cares about people but she works with lots of people that don't.

I think there are some genuinely caring people in the world, but not many. Lots of people are pretending to be nice, I have met quite a few like this.

To be honest, I think it's amazing we're as well organised, civilised and cooperative as we are. Human civilisation really is incredible if you think about the complexity of our systems, information flows and shared infrastructure.

I also don't believe that we're worse now than we were. If anything, I think people's tolerance of people who are not like them has increased.

This is a good way to be and I think reflects how many people are. Most people to me seem to be good and helpful. Obviously most of us will be caring for our children rather then neglecting them to help others but I do see a lot of good all the time.

" People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway."

There are tons of people who help others every day for no reason than to be helpful. They don't advertise it or even talk about it. That even inc celebrities and wealthy people.

There have also been a lot of people in uk in last few years calling for higher taxes, there's been quite a few surveys showing people are willing to pay them and various well known people have said they would be willing to too.

Namechanger - when did your friend qualify as a nurse? Because there are VERY few currently working who don't have a full degree. They have to have a diploma at least.

What I've learnt from my life about empathy? Compassion? (And I have NOT had an easy life, born into a toxic family, abused, betrayed, rejected... I have more reason than many to be cynical. But I've also found people who have loved, supported and given of themselves to me).

It doesn't always come from those it should, but it can often come from those you least expect it to, and who have nothing to gain from caring for you.

Yes there are cruel evil people, but most are kind, thoughtful, caring.

Everyone sometimes feels scared, lonely and unloved but if you treat others well you can know that you are a good person, that gives you contentment and peace of mind.

What you give out you get back - not just in action but in thought too. And not just for yourself but for others too.