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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... for those who are devastated about Brexit, how are you dealing with the fear and depression and anxiety?

775 replies

testytesting · 29/03/2017 09:58

Has anyone got any strategies? I am genuinely not one for melodrama, but I am devastated, angry, terrified, depressed, and I feel so utterly helpless. Nothing in my lifetime has made me feel like this, and I just can't imagine feeling like this for the next two years and beyond. I can hardly bear to listen to the news, but I feel compelled to anyway. How are other remainers dealing with this, what are your coping strategies? And what, if anything, can we DO?

OP posts:
muttrat · 29/03/2017 18:33

Wow I'm sorry for your son if he's disappointed, but really???

sonlypuppyfat · 29/03/2017 18:38

I'm thrilled to bits that we are leaving I have absolutely no interest in living abroad, the rest of the world seems to do ok without the EU. And all you who are terrified, grow up

MargaretCavendish · 29/03/2017 18:44

I have absolutely no interest in living abroad

Me neither (currently, at least) but, since I've noticed I'm not the only person in the UK, I don't see why it's relevant?

UnconventionalWarfare · 29/03/2017 18:48

Hahahhahahahahahagaha seems brexit wasnt the only thing that got triggered today

fakenamefornow · 29/03/2017 18:58

I've join the LibDems.
I've been saving as hard as I can. We we're going to get a new kitchen, but not now. I could also really do with a new car but again not now.
We still have a mortgage, so that's very worrying.
I have explored all our options for EU passports for our children, but no luck there.
I found out at the end of last year that my job (that I love) is funded by the EU so I'm going to lose my job in 2019 when funding ends. My husband's job might be affected as well but this is uncertain.

One thing that makes me really angry is the EU passport thing for our children. If Scotland had voted for independence the population were told that they could have both a Scottish and British passport. We don't even get the chance to choose between a British or EU passport, our rights as EU citizens are just being striped from us. I think I might write to sympathetic EU politicians about this and see if they can extend some help to us on this. Our own Government don't seem to care in the slightest how many of our rights they take from us.

unicornsIlovethem · 29/03/2017 18:58

I'm noting the people who tell me how great it's going to be and guessing how long it's going to be before they start whinging about their nice carer leaving, or having to wait for hours in hospitals because there aren't as many doctors, or they were treated by a brown immigrant.

One or two of them have already started. A gentle reminder that it's the natural consequence of their decision is very satisfying.

captainproton · 29/03/2017 18:59

I think this is a life lesson for many folk who have had life and politics go their way for many years, suddenly finding themselves on the wrong side of popular opinion when things didn't go their way.

I reacted in a similar way when something happened in my personal life changed my life forever and I had zero control over. Someone I was close to had enough of me moaning and basically told me to shut up and get on with life, life isn't fair and you can't always get what you want. I fell out with them but realised later they were right moaning about it gets you nowhere and other usually sympathetic people backs up.

So this is meant kindly because I truly understand how you feel but getting yourself worked up about it isn't going to change a damn thing.

By all means get involved actively in politics whether it's a national party or local issue or even volunteer for charity but try not to get too melodramatic. People who were not passionately remain have mostly stopped caring as the economy didn't fall off a cliff and their lives haven't been affected (yet).

CheeseQueen · 29/03/2017 19:08

A gentle reminder that it's the natural consequence of their decision is very satisfying.

Oh, charming. Now we get gloaters as well as moaners. You really paint yourself and your cause in a bad light with statements like this and come across as a deeply unpleasant person. How does that make you any "better" a person?

itsmine · 29/03/2017 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twinchaos1 · 29/03/2017 19:16

I feel sad and cross at this happening, but have known it would be happening for some time. I have joined the lib dems and got involved. DH has requested an overseas transfer so we don't have to live through it. I accept most people have moved on but as I struggle to do so I think moving out at least for a few years would be good for out family.

thatdearoctopus · 29/03/2017 19:22

Erm, how is joining the LibDems going to help?

itsmine · 29/03/2017 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Doyouwantabrew · 29/03/2017 19:33

joining the lib dems it's not as bad as that is it? Grin

unicorn oh dear brown immigrant. Here again we have the racist brexiteers again. Just please listen snd learn from the vote!

its because ordinary people got sick of being labelled racist and sneered at by the London elite they voted up leave the EU ffs learn.

I actually voted remain but am quite capable of functioning on a daily basis with leaving.

I too was devestated and angry and helpless when my dd was fighting for her life.

Maybe some people really need either perspective, real problems or professional help to deal with us negotiating trade deals. Good grief

oklumberjack · 29/03/2017 19:36

Wow. This all does seem very catastrophising in the extreme.

Do people really believe that no-one lived or worked abroad before we joined the EU? My parents worked and lived in Europe and Asia throughout the 60's before we joined the EU. There was no issue. Many of the their friends/peers did. People have lived/worked abroad for hundreds of years. Yes, we may not be able to join the easy EU passport queue at the airport anymore, but do we really think all this will stop completely?

I voted remain (with a small r, because I honestly don't think the EU is this peaceful, friendly, stranger hugging club that many people seem to think it is). On the morning after I was as shocked as the next person but soon thought - it is what it is. I really don't think it's the Zombie Apocalypse.

All the doom and gloom is helping no-one.

On the bright side, my 22 year niece is finding lots of work interest as she's a civil servant who speaks mandarin. Every cloud.

Doyouwantabrew · 29/03/2017 19:37

fakename how did you suddenly find out your job was EU funded? Don't get me wrong being unemployed is so bloody awful and I hope it doesn't happen to you or anyone here. It's horrible.

Regards children's passports what's the problem? The passport will reflect their birth country! So what?

Doyouwantabrew · 29/03/2017 19:41

Lumberjack that's great I always think we should drop the obsession with kids learning French and German and replace with Spanish and mandarin.

My grandparents emigrated to the USA and back. My uncles are in Canada and Oz. Dh is Irish and my ancestors were Swedish.

I do think some people think migration started in the 90s Wink

oklumberjack · 29/03/2017 19:46

Quite Doyouwantabrew. How do people think the world worked before 1975 (was that the year we joined?) in regards of people working overseas? It happened, a lot. I can't get worked up over that particular 'devastation'

omlegging · 29/03/2017 19:51

With alcohol.

But in all seriousness, once the shock, incredulity and anger passed we dealt with it last year by bringing forward our timeline and firming up plans to leave the UK well before this all goes ahead. I now just let it all wash over me like it's a bad movie being played out in the press and thank my lucky stars we had a viable exit strategy of our own.

Doubt we will ever return. Not a country I want my kids to grow up in any more.

itsmine · 29/03/2017 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fakenamefornow · 29/03/2017 20:09

fakename how did you suddenly find out your job was EU funded?

When I went to our annual conference in October we were told that the EU funded our department and budgets had been agree until 2019.

Regards children's passports what's the problem? The passport will reflect their birth country! So what?

A passport also brings with it certain rights, rights which my children were born with and are now set to lose. Clearly you don't care about this but I do care about it.

BrandenburgerTor · 29/03/2017 20:09

Hi everyone. I'm new to this game so I'm going to try and be as objective as possible. Yes, since Brexit and Trump the whole darn world seems to have gone crazy and no one, least of all the people who are supposed to look after us have a clue. So, for what it's worth here's my take on the situation. First let's look at this "will of the people" stuff. Now I know I wasn't all that good at maths at school but a 51-49% split does not shriek out "will of the people" to me. Now if it had been 95-5 that would be a different matter. And of the half that voted leave most of them only did so because they believed all the lies about immigration. Now I think many of you out there would agree that you would not get out of bed in the morning for the money that most of the EU "migrants" are quite happy to accept so it begs the question are you going to do that when they have all gone??? No then who is going to do them?

For my part I will be brushing up my German and going out to Angela Merkel's countrymen and women to try and apologise for my misguided country.

lucydogz · 29/03/2017 20:14

and of the half that voted leave most of them only did so because they believed all the lies about immigration. and precisely how do you come to that figure?
Apologize to as many Germans as you like but don't forget how well Germany has done very well out of screwing over Greece and the poorer members of the EU

CheeseQueen · 29/03/2017 20:17

For my part I will be brushing up my German and going out to Angela Merkel's countrymen and women to try and apologise for my misguided country

Grin This thread just gets better. Were you tongue in cheek or do you really want to try and apologise on behalf of your country?!
It's laughable, it really is. Newsflash - politics don't always go your way, not everyone holds the same opinion. The quicker people realise this the quicker we'd get out of such horrible messes.

KC225 · 29/03/2017 20:22

This thread has given me the best laugh in ages. You people are hilarious. Keep it coming

omlegging · 29/03/2017 20:31

Again, seems a bit drastic. I hope your dc won't miss their extended family and friends. You will find political problems wherever you live, are you planning on moving everytime something happens you didn't vote for?

They'll see just as much of them as they do now as we aren't close geographically now. They've never known any different and are very close to their extended family.

Yes there will be political problems in many countries, but thanks to DH's job we can provide a far higher standard of living, healthcare and education (without a lottery) and more importantly wider view of the world by getting them out of this progressively small-minded nation. We likely will move again, not because of politics just because actually that's what works for our family. (this time wasn't because of Brexit either but it certainly hastened our desire to make it happen).