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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To end it over this?

91 replies

andshewillbeloved · 27/03/2017 21:01

Been seeing a guy for a while on and off. He jokingly called dd (2) a jerk earlier over text when I said I'd got a bleeding lip. I was tickling her and she kicked my mouth by accident.

He thinks I'm overreacting but I'm seriously considering not seeing him again over this.

OP posts:
blackbunny · 27/03/2017 21:04

Did you tell him it was an accident?
If he called her a jerk knowing it was an accident, I think he deserves a bin off

ProudBadMum · 27/03/2017 21:05

Oh I've called my own kids worse and my friends when shit like that's happens to friends, its lighthearted.

If you tell him you don't like that and he apologised leave it. It might just be how his family talk

Chocachoo · 27/03/2017 21:05

YABU. Sounds like you two don't share a similar sense of humour tbh!

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 27/03/2017 21:06

Is he very child friendly usually? Maybe he genuinely couldn't think of an appropriate label to make a joke with?

Happyandhungry · 27/03/2017 21:07

What?! Are you joking? A jerk is such a mild non insult and clearly he meant it in a playful way. Like if he'd said ouch my mate just banged the car door on me you'd say ooh what a dingbat he is! Etc. Or maybe you are humourless Hmm

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 27/03/2017 21:07

I think it's a bit of an overreaction if it was a joke. Obviously you have a different sense of humour to him. That said, if you would consider ending it over one jokey comment then you obviously aren't that into him so it's probably best to end it anyway.

moosechops · 27/03/2017 21:08

YABU in my opinion - I've called my mates kids much worse for much less lightheartedly. As you say he said it jokingly... but it sounds like maybe your sense of humour and his are completely different so maybe bin off anyway haha. (Said lightheartedly)

meganorks · 27/03/2017 21:09

It's a joke surely. I mean no one even says jerk do they?! I've called one or other of mine a knob, cow, etc via text as a joke many a time. People know my sense of humour though.

andshewillbeloved · 27/03/2017 21:09

I thought we had a similar sense of humour but I would never call his dd names even jokingly.

He knew it was an accident.

Maybe I need to lighten up, I don't know.

OP posts:
ETanny · 27/03/2017 21:21

I think your being a bit dramatic. Chances are he was joking around after you said she bust your lip.

OneSecondAfter · 27/03/2017 21:25

I think your being a bit dramatic. Chances are he was joking around after you said she bust your lip.

I agree with this.

Birdsgottaf1y · 27/03/2017 21:26

I watch a lot of cat videos on FB, called "cats being jerks", so I take it as a jokey insult.

We call the two year old in our family 'evil' when she causes injuries, it's an in-joke. He's probably meant it the same way.

It's stuff like this that decides if you're really suited.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 27/03/2017 21:28

You are being so over dramatic. I don't think it bodes well, if you criticise him for such a tame word/thing with regards to your child. It will always be the two of you v him.

Iamdazedandconfused · 27/03/2017 21:29

Definitely overreacting! I'd guess he just meant it in a jokey "oh what are kids like" sort of way.

NeonGod73 · 27/03/2017 21:29

Jeez! Get a sense of humour! And you said it yourself that he said it jokingly....

TedEriksen · 27/03/2017 21:31

I call mine 'eejits' or 'muppets' when we're joking around and they say it back to me - sounds harmless.

angelcakerocks · 27/03/2017 21:36

I can see where you're coming from. I don't like name calling anyway and it would get my back up if someone I was dating said this about my dcs.

ThePiglet59 · 27/03/2017 21:36

I think that you should dump him.
He'll have dodged a bullet.

LindyHemming · 27/03/2017 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sandsnake · 27/03/2017 21:41

You're overreacting, massively. Though I probably would consider ending things as agree with pps that it doesn't seem you're compatible - imo sense of humour being similar is absolutely key to a good relationship.

ShowMeWhatYouGot · 27/03/2017 21:42

Your really overreacting, maybe he's not the one.

luckylucky24 · 27/03/2017 21:43

Dh often calls DS a jerk as a joke. DS just says it back. "You're a jerk daddy".

Lindy2 · 27/03/2017 21:48

I'd rate jerk on the same level as other mild insults such as wally, idiot, plonker, prat etc. I wouldn't have an issue with it at all.
If you are thinking of ending an otherwise good relationship over this I think you have impossible standards and will have difficulties maintaining a long term relationship.
If you have other concerns about your relationship and are over sensitive to this because of other, more real, issues then it is a little more understandable.

Hateloggingin · 27/03/2017 21:54

Poor bloke

Imamouseduh · 27/03/2017 21:55

End it, for his sake. You sound like hard work.

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