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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To end it over this?

91 replies

andshewillbeloved · 27/03/2017 21:01

Been seeing a guy for a while on and off. He jokingly called dd (2) a jerk earlier over text when I said I'd got a bleeding lip. I was tickling her and she kicked my mouth by accident.

He thinks I'm overreacting but I'm seriously considering not seeing him again over this.

OP posts:
ShowMeWhatYouGot · 27/03/2017 21:56

I've just realized you said the relationship is on and off, obviously something is not right.

Jux · 27/03/2017 22:01

I call dd a clot.

I'm not sure how I'd feel if someone called her a jerk because, to me, that's more serious. DH thinks clot is revolting.

MichaelSheensNextDW · 27/03/2017 22:02

I think you should listen to your instincts; if it crosses a line with you that's fine, it's personal to you. I wouldn't be amused by it either.

embo1 · 27/03/2017 22:04

Clearly a joke.
I hope

2017SoFarSoGood · 27/03/2017 22:13

ThePIglet Grin

OP unless you have lots of other examples of how he is worthy of us all saying LTB I suspect this one is not worthy of your angst. I hope that is the case.

Notthemessiah · 27/03/2017 22:14

Sounds like you're looking for an excuse so go ahead.

On the other hand, if you do genuinely like him and he's done nothing else to make you re-consider, yet you'd still dump him for a slightly poor choice of a joke via text then maybe your standards are just a little too high? Good luck finding another man who doesn't put his foot in it from time to time.

ScarlettFreestone · 27/03/2017 22:17

I'm going to go against the grain and say that I wouldn't be comfortable about someone else calling my DD a Jerk.

NancyCarolinesTorch · 27/03/2017 22:22

I think people are being a but harsh. To me you're being a bit oversensitive as you know it was meant as a joke. My best mate who was DESPERATE for a child and absolutely does on her refers to her at 'it' sometimes. As in 'don't anger it!' 'Don't wake it!'. When she won't sleep I call her the Beast (as in, doth the Beast slumber?). It's cute and it's fine.

I also call my DN (8 weeks) a fat shit. As does my sister. It's an in-joke, although it might sound awful to other people and I would never EVER say that about another child.

It's all about finding your level with a person. As PP have said, maybe your sense of humour just doesn't match up. That's fine and it doesn't make either of you a bad person or in the wrong, just different.

This would be a deal breaker for me. Not what was said, that would be fine, but the massive mismatch of humour over something so innocuous. It's a shame but it happens.

NancyCarolinesTorch · 27/03/2017 22:23

A bit harsh to you I mean OP.
Sorry, been a long day...

FatOldBag · 27/03/2017 22:31

End it for his sake, poor sod. (Oh no I called him a sod, I must be horrible too!)

seven201 · 27/03/2017 22:32

You've had a sense of humour failure

Voice0fReason · 27/03/2017 22:46

He was joking and it was a text to you, he wasn't talking to your DD.
Not a big deal at all.

Lifestakingitstoll · 27/03/2017 22:48

I wouldn't like it, would put me right off.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 27/03/2017 22:49

Oh you clearly aren't that into him, just break it off

BonnyScotland · 27/03/2017 22:52

guys had a lucky escape x

MadameJosephine · 27/03/2017 22:54

I really wouldn't like that at all. Not sure I'd end it for that if it was an isolated incident though.

However, you do know that you don't need a reason right? If you're not that into him, that's reason enough

babybubblescomingsoon · 27/03/2017 23:05

Yabu. Wtf op Confused

Unihorn · 27/03/2017 23:15

Bloody hell. My husband regularly texts from work to ask if our 4 month old has been a dick/twat/terrorist/dictator etc. She's obviously not been any of these things because she is a tiny baby. But when she screams and claws my face I could certainly describe her as such!

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 27/03/2017 23:17

It wouldn't bother me one little bit, but if it bothers you then end it. You don't need another reason.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 27/03/2017 23:18

On and off? Life's too short. Not compatible. Move on.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 27/03/2017 23:22

Listen to your instinct over this. If it makes you consider ending it then end it. Often something seemingly innocuous can be the final straw. Trust your judgement.

Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 28/03/2017 08:25

Seriously? People think he's had a lucky escape because I don't feel comfortable with him joking about my toddler a jerk?

OP posts:
EverythingEverywhere1234 · 28/03/2017 08:32

Obviously 'seriously' Hmm Why else would people post?

Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 28/03/2017 08:34

And the people who say they call their own kids names and friends kids names - that's completely different. They're your children or they are the children of close friends. This is a guy who I've seen less than 10 times and who I've already had issues with (unrelated to name calling thankfully).

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 28/03/2017 08:34

You are free to end any relationship for any reason you wish.

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