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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To end it over this?

91 replies

andshewillbeloved · 27/03/2017 21:01

Been seeing a guy for a while on and off. He jokingly called dd (2) a jerk earlier over text when I said I'd got a bleeding lip. I was tickling her and she kicked my mouth by accident.

He thinks I'm overreacting but I'm seriously considering not seeing him again over this.

OP posts:
EverythingEverywhere1234 · 28/03/2017 08:42

andshewillbeloved And we're back to the point I made when I first posted, you simply aren't into him so a minor offence to most others is a huge one to you. You don't need anymore of an excuse to break up with someone than simply that you aren't feeling it.

Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 28/03/2017 08:46

Maybe I'm clinging onto something I wanted to work instead of facing up to the fact that I'm not feeling it.

OP posts:
EverythingEverywhere1234 · 28/03/2017 08:47

Flowers Break ups are always shit.

Elizabeth1970 · 28/03/2017 08:50

I don't think I would be happy with it either
It's not about the wording but I would feel he's talking out of turn
He's not her step dad, you've seen him 10 times!
What are the other issues you've had with him in such a short space of time?

Pigface1 · 28/03/2017 08:50

Sounds like you two have very different senses of humour and so aren't suited - so perhaps best to end it.

I don't think he's done anything wrong though. It isn't like he called her a jerk to her face. I think he was trying to make you laugh - in the full knowledge that it was an accident and she ISN'T a jerk.

Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 28/03/2017 08:56

Other issues include him wanting things to go much much faster than I'd like despite telling him and him sulking when I said I wanted things to go slower. His fetish for Asian women. The fact that he still lives with parents at 32 (this might be shallow on my part).

OP posts:
Elizabeth1970 · 28/03/2017 09:20

Are you aisan yourself? Otherwise that's very odd he's told you that if not!

AromatAddict · 28/03/2017 09:21

Oh come on OP! You can't give us all a tiny nugget of information, get the ump when 50 - 60 disagree with you and then give a load of other backstory information. That's not how a forum like this works. Telling someone they are a jerk can be meant and received in several different ways. Bin him off for the rest of it as well as this if you want but don't edit information you are giving out and then get arsey when people don't understand the full picture. You are not giving the full picture. No wonder half the time on MN members think people are trolls! This sort of posting style gets up peoples noses.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 28/03/2017 09:28

If you had come on here and posted that your bf is pressuring you instead of letting you take the relationship at your own pace, has a porn addiction (is that what you're getting at with the fetish thing?), lives with his parents and has no job prospects (or whatever your concern is with that) then you would have got completely different responses. You can't tell people about one insanely minor occurrence and expect them to whip out their crystal balls and just magically m is about all the issues in your relationship. What a waste of time.

At the end of the day, you don't need an excuse or a reason to end things with a boyfriend. It's not like your committed in terms of marriage or kids. If you don't want to see him anymore then don't. It's that simple.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 28/03/2017 09:29

*magically guess

allyjay · 28/03/2017 09:59

Ah just dump him OP he sounds crap. And no I wouldn't call another person's child a jerk if I'd only known them a matter of weeks. Inappropriate.

sonjadog · 28/03/2017 10:34

You are massively overracting, but if you want to dump him, then do it.

StarryIllusion · 28/03/2017 10:43

Seriously? He was joking ffs, is anyone really this sensitive? Fucking hell. You'd love my family OP, my DDad described my 18 month old as a little tart yesterday for flouncing around in sparkly shoes and a nappy and my 3 year old happily informed me that "daddy says I've been a right little prick today" in response to being asked if he had been good. Cue much blushing and stammering and swearing that he didn't think DS could hear him from "D"P. All I can say to that is that if he repeats that language at nursery, DP is doing the explaining.

Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 28/03/2017 11:35

Well the jerk thing annoyed me much more than the Asian thing (by the way I'm not Asian and don't look even remotely Asian). Honestly didn't mean to drip feed.

OP posts:
Chickendipper12 · 28/03/2017 11:55

"his fetish with asian women"

Everyone has their thing? What wrong with him appreciating asian women? Doesnt mean he likes you any less?

FooFighter99 · 28/03/2017 12:02

Someone get Santa on the blower and order OP a sense of humour for Christmas!

It seems like he meant it in a light-hearted way. But do him a favour and end it because you clearly can't take a joke and you obviously take yourself far too seriously Wink

Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 28/03/2017 12:04

Ok I'm just going to leave this thread here.

OP posts:
Elizabeth1970 · 28/03/2017 14:56

I think you're being given a hard time here
This is your child he is referring to, not his - yours.
So if another poster is happy with her child being called a prick by his dad then that's another thing altogether
He's not your child's dad and after a few weeks hasn't taken on a step father role either so he spoke out of turn

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 28/03/2017 15:03

You are being a bit dramatic and OTT. Hmm

xStefx · 28/03/2017 15:11

Other issues include him wanting things to go much much faster than I'd like despite telling him and him sulking when I said I wanted things to go slower - he sounds like a child

The fact that he still lives with parents at 32 - Not shallow, why the fuck does a grown man still live with his mum & dad?

I don't think your feeling the relationship and him referring to your toddler as a jerk was probably the icing on the cake. End the relationship, he obviously pisses you off.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 28/03/2017 15:16

why the fuck does a grown man still live with his mum & dad?

Lots of people do and they're not all losers. My brother is living with my parents at the moment because with house prices being what they in relation to wages are he hasn't yet been able to afford his own property. Rather than renting, my parents have very kindly allowed him to move back in while he saves the rest of his deposit.

xStefx · 28/03/2017 15:26

Yes but she is on about a 32 year old man? Not someone fresh out of college saving for a deposit.

At 32 a man should have his own house or I would say his priorities are a bit off and I bet his mum does all his washing and cooking and you would be expected to take over as "2nd mum" / " girlfriend"

Nah, sorry that would be a no for me

Strifae64 · 28/03/2017 15:36

I think he needs to end it with you from the sounds of it :/

TedEriksen · 28/03/2017 15:57

At 32 a man should have his own house or I would say his priorities are a bit off

FFS!! Does money just suddenly appear in your hand at 32? Do you get a discount on house prices?

Melaniaspilatesinstructor · 28/03/2017 15:59

Yanbu