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God forbid I ask for a favour from DH (and don't even get me started on Mother's Day!)

166 replies

Zhan · 26/03/2017 12:08

So yesterday I spoke to DH about furniture restoration - something I would like to do as a hobby and something that could generate us a bit of extra cash. He was all up for it. I spoke about how excited I was about the project and told him I'd found an old bookcase for sale for £10 which I had great ideas for. Again, he was all up for it. I said I needed one favour and that was that he come with me to pick it up as I wouldn't be able to lift it into the car on my own (plus it's a new car which I've not driven yet). 5 minute drive. He said "no problem" and again, seemed all up for it.

So still dead excited, confirmed with seller they still had it, double checked again with DH that he would come with (said he would, no problem) - I agree a time with seller and suddenly DH says "I don't want to, can't be arsed". He goes on to say that my hobby shouldn't involve him "messing around" and it's not my hobby at all if he's the one running around doing everything!! I'd asked him to help me get it home, that's it! Fuming and just feel so deflated and sad that he can't be arsed to do a 5 minute drive with me for something I've been excited about all weekend.

On top on this my eldest son (18) has "misplaced" my Mother's Day present (read - drank it) and I have received no cards from either of my kids (got a box of after eights from youngest). Eldest greeted me this morning with "why do you weigh your cereal? Why are you so weird? Is it because you want to look like a 20 year old like them?" (I was looking through catalogue).

Fucked off, fed up and feel like telling them all to do one.

OP posts:
yaela123 · 26/03/2017 21:03

Yay!

I'm waiting for the 'after' pic!

comedycentral · 26/03/2017 21:04

I have a horrible feeling he will damage that book case in revenge!

bunnylove99 · 26/03/2017 21:11

Good on you OP. You go girl. Enjoy your project and I hope you make a great return on it -all by yourself! One wee niggle: If it is huge and heavy and you are selling it on for a wee girl's room please insist buyer connects it to the wall.

CoolCarrie · 26/03/2017 21:50

That is a brilliant bargain well done on getting it
Let us have a look when you have finished please!

Motherbear26 · 27/03/2017 08:44

Well done OP! Good luck with your project! I hope it keeps you so busy that you have no time for cooking, cleaning, washing etc! If I were you my next project would be finding a new and improved DHWink

Craigie · 27/03/2017 17:43

Tell your 18 year old to get off his lazy arse and come and help you, thendo fuck all for any of them for the rest of the week. Ungrateful bastards.

MrJones1977 · 27/03/2017 17:48

Damn lucky guy,I wish my DO would show interest in things like that. All she seems interested in is Take That and eating out. I am not a fan of either. He should be glad he has a partner who uses her mind

Wickedstepmum67 · 27/03/2017 17:48

Good on you, OP. Post pic of the finished bookcase and I bet it sells really well. No idea why your spouse has been rather a bell end about this, only that is does appear he is threatened by your independence. Unless he is prepared to explain himself, you can do no more than get on with the things you want to do. So glad this experience has reminded you of who you are apart from husband and children 👏💐Oh and the response to your 18-year-old's 'why are you so weird' should be 'why are you so rude?'

OneSecondAfter · 27/03/2017 17:58

He goes on to say that my hobby shouldn't involve him "messing around" and it's not my hobby at all if he's the one running around doing everything!

What a prick. I'd just spit that back at him every time he wants you to do anything for him from now on.

"Oh you wanted dinner? Your meals shouldn't involve ME messing around. It's not your dinner if I'm the one running around doing everything", etc.

MyOtherNameIsTaken · 27/03/2017 17:59

Love that bookcase and so pleased that you didn't let your H stop you.
Onwards and upwards!

Howlongtilldinner · 27/03/2017 18:01

I couldn't have any respect for my DH if he treated me like that, ditto my kids. They are all very disrespectful to you. I would certainly dish out some 'punishments' or withdrawal of chores (actually both I think!).
I remember getting my three piece suite out of the lounge so I could decorate, dont ask me how I did it (was a mission) but I found the determination I needed, XDP didn't believe I'd done it alone. Well done OP, and get the keys to that car and take it out FOR THE DAY!!

Lynnm63 · 27/03/2017 18:02

Well done op. I'd make sure the phrase 'cant be arsed' would be used at least once a day in response to requests from your 'd'h and 'd's. I'd stop cooking, cleaning for them both and I'd definitely not be arsed to shag dh.

happypoobum · 27/03/2017 18:02

Well done Zhan

Be prepared for him taking you sorting this out for yourself as a declaration of war Sad

He sounds like a jerk.

floraeasy · 27/03/2017 18:11

Well done OP Wine

He sounds like a gas-lighting passive-aggressive twat. I'll bet he'll be so pissed off that you went for it anyway.

The way you say you'd usually react (I've been there too) is what PAs want - for you to be defeated and depressed and complain (gives them satisfaction and it makes you look bad). Don't give him the satisfaction.

So pleased for you.

Agree with pp, that he might step up his nonsense to force the old dynamic again. He'll just have to get used to a whole new you!

Your son sounds like he has no respect either. Obviously, a chip off the old block.

Well, let them get on with it. PAs suck so much joy out of life. Do you ever feel exhausted when you're around him for no particular reason? Like getting the simplest thing accomplished is such hard work? That's what they do to you. It's actually easier to be alone than with one.

BitOutOfPractice · 27/03/2017 18:12

First of all OP bloody well done to you. You've gt a bargain there! Enjoy your project

Next off, quite clearly your "D"H is a cunt. But what upsets me more is thaty our DS seems to be copying his attitude to you. That worries me

EZA15 · 27/03/2017 18:27

What did your husband say when he realised you'd gone yourself op?

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 27/03/2017 18:40

Op you rock. Tell the men in your life to sort their shit out!

Parker231 · 27/03/2017 18:43

If you do the shopping and cooking in your house, I hope you "can't be bothered" to prepare any meals for your family! If any of my family behaved like your DH and DC's there would be some serious conversations taking place.

jayne1976 · 27/03/2017 19:00

Google how the seats go down and go! The seller will help you in

MCamp10 · 27/03/2017 19:07

Maybe time to ask yourself some questions, ie. "what are you getting from this relationship?"/ "What keeps you in this relationship?"

user1490207949 · 27/03/2017 19:29

I have one like that, I wish I could afford to trade him in :(

FurryLittleTwerp · 27/03/2017 19:40

He's a twat. Well done OP.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 27/03/2017 19:42

I am struck that you have a new landrover but are looking to make some extra cash.

We have new landrover kind of income. I also restore things, for fun and for furnishing my own house with the things I like. If I suggested spending all those hours doing it was for the income, DH would laugh at me and point out what I/we earn per hour at our paid work.

Do you have restricted access to money?

Nick1957 · 27/03/2017 19:53

Next time your DH asks you for a favour 😉 I'm sure we all know what your response will be .

BlackeyedSusan · 27/03/2017 20:00

stop doing stuff for the lazy arses and get yourself an exit plan. don't have to use it but he sounds nasty ,