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Original poster

God forbid I ask for a favour from DH (and don't even get me started on Mother's Day!)

166 replies

Zhan · 26/03/2017 12:08

So yesterday I spoke to DH about furniture restoration - something I would like to do as a hobby and something that could generate us a bit of extra cash. He was all up for it. I spoke about how excited I was about the project and told him I'd found an old bookcase for sale for £10 which I had great ideas for. Again, he was all up for it. I said I needed one favour and that was that he come with me to pick it up as I wouldn't be able to lift it into the car on my own (plus it's a new car which I've not driven yet). 5 minute drive. He said "no problem" and again, seemed all up for it.

So still dead excited, confirmed with seller they still had it, double checked again with DH that he would come with (said he would, no problem) - I agree a time with seller and suddenly DH says "I don't want to, can't be arsed". He goes on to say that my hobby shouldn't involve him "messing around" and it's not my hobby at all if he's the one running around doing everything!! I'd asked him to help me get it home, that's it! Fuming and just feel so deflated and sad that he can't be arsed to do a 5 minute drive with me for something I've been excited about all weekend.

On top on this my eldest son (18) has "misplaced" my Mother's Day present (read - drank it) and I have received no cards from either of my kids (got a box of after eights from youngest). Eldest greeted me this morning with "why do you weigh your cereal? Why are you so weird? Is it because you want to look like a 20 year old like them?" (I was looking through catalogue).

Fucked off, fed up and feel like telling them all to do one.

OP posts:
ChuckDaffodils · 26/03/2017 12:56

He does sound nasty but you really should stop relying on him to help with simple things like getting the car seats down. I've loaded stuff into cars myself for years; you just have to find the centre of gravity, walk them to the vehicle, open the boot, lean them on the back, and lift and slide to get it in. If you don't know how to get the seats back, google it, look in the manual, you tube will usually have a video about almost everything.

And whilst you do it, start thinking if this is what you really want in life, and if not, start making alternative plans that don't include him.

dwpanxt · 26/03/2017 12:57

If you dont know how to put the seats down google it and then off you go. Do the seats when youre away from the house and ask for help getting the bookcase into the car at the other end. I would just go .

Take the youngest with you for an adventure. They can help with one end if necessary (unless they are under 3 ?) and you can both have a lovely mothers day lunch out somewhere nice. Let the rest of them take care of themselves today .
Then think about what you are going to do about your DH .

HopefulHamster · 26/03/2017 13:00

This is clearly sabotage.

Do whatever it takes to get the bookcase.

Why doesn't he want you to succeed at this? What does he gain other than 'keeping you in your place'?

HeteronormativeHaybales · 26/03/2017 13:01

If my son dared to speak to me like your 18yo has to you the wifi password would be being changed and lifts, laundry etc would not be happening for the foreseeable. As for your dh, the solution is simple. You can no longer be arsed to mess around doing anything that makes his life easier or nicer.

kingjoffreyworksintescos · 26/03/2017 13:01

Don't be intimidated by it being a land rover , they are easy to drive - let's face it you husband has driven it so it cannot be difficult
I would purposely take ages messing about with the seats in the drive then as I drove away jolt / lurch it down the drive , if he wants to be an arse give him something to worry about
Enjoy your bookcase op 💪👍

DJBaggySmalls · 26/03/2017 13:01

He wasn't up for it. He just couldn't be arsed to have a row.

Original poster
Zhan · 26/03/2017 13:05

No DJ he was, he was really enthusiastic about it from 4pm yesterday when I first mentioned it all the way to 10am this morning when I confirmed a time with him. Then all of a sudden he changes his mind. If he wasn't up for it he should have said so when I first asked. Not lead me on all night, watch me studying it, choosing paints, messaging seller and THEN make out that he never said he'd help me and that it's all in my head. That's just being a cunt.

OP posts:
ToastDemon · 26/03/2017 13:05

If he's like this as a rule it hardly sounds worth being married to him.

Megatherium · 26/03/2017 13:05

He doesn't want you to do something that you're excited about and will make money that will benefit the family? Ask him on what planet that is acceptable.

StandAndBeCounted · 26/03/2017 13:06

Agree with PP. You can totally put those seats down and drive that car to get your own damn bookcase! Ask the seller if they would mind helping you to get it in as your DH has let you down. And put a plea out on fb to find someone to help when you get it home.

Men tend to become a bit more attentive less of an arse when they realise you don't actually need them

PollyBanana · 26/03/2017 13:06

Well, you won't be arsed to make any meals or do any laundry for him...

Original poster
Zhan · 26/03/2017 13:11

I've done the seats 😁 Now to drive the bugger. Can't one of you come and help me 😁😂

Ok I can do this. I will post a picture of bookcase when I get it to prove how brave I've been lol

OP posts:
reuset · 26/03/2017 13:16

Christ OP. Your DH sounds like a selfish twit. Is he always like that?

temporarilyjerry · 26/03/2017 13:16

I wish we could help you, Zhan. I'm not planning on getting out of my pyjamas today, but I will if you need me.

reuset · 26/03/2017 13:17

I'd help if I could Grin

I agree, hopefully the seller will lend a hand.

fuzzywuzzy · 26/03/2017 13:18

Zhan you can do this.

Get seller to help you load the bookshelf into your car.

Then flipping we'll restore it and sell it for a good profit. And think about where you want your relationship with your moronic H to be going (I'd bin him).

APlaceOnTheCouch · 26/03/2017 13:20

If you were near me, I'd drive it for you. Your DH is a nasty piece of work.

NaiceBiscuits · 26/03/2017 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSockGoblin · 26/03/2017 13:22

Yes you can do it.

Go for it, and DO NOT let him stop you. Flowers

JennyHolzersGhost · 26/03/2017 13:25

You can do this OP! And when you've done it sit down and have a bit of a think about whether you want this man in your life - how much are you putting into the relationship and how much are you getting back?
His behaviour is utterly unacceptable.

Arkengarthdale · 26/03/2017 13:29

Ooo yes I'll come. Any excuse to drive a Land Rover. What kind is it? Glad you've managed the seats. They're easy to drive, especially the modern ones. If it's an old Defender they are incredibly forgiving Grin

Go you! Leave the mardy fucker standing

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2017 13:29

Ffs, and you have an 18 year old son and none of them will help you? Bunch of arse holes. The seller will help you and their end. Get one of the buggers out to help you when you get back.

Oh and stop doing stuff for them. Immediately.

pictish · 26/03/2017 13:29

Absolutely get in that damn car and fetch it yourself...maybe the seller will help you.
He's being an absolute shit...don't give him the satisfaction of pouring cold water on your event. What a wanker. Bash on anyway.

sonjadog · 26/03/2017 13:30

Good for you! Take this as an opportunity to start getting back some of your independence. I hope the pick up goes smoothly.

Miserylovescompany2 · 26/03/2017 13:34

After you've picked up the book case, take yourself out for the day...

Let them sort themselves out.

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