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AIBU?

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Original poster

God forbid I ask for a favour from DH (and don't even get me started on Mother's Day!)

166 replies

Zhan · 26/03/2017 12:08

So yesterday I spoke to DH about furniture restoration - something I would like to do as a hobby and something that could generate us a bit of extra cash. He was all up for it. I spoke about how excited I was about the project and told him I'd found an old bookcase for sale for £10 which I had great ideas for. Again, he was all up for it. I said I needed one favour and that was that he come with me to pick it up as I wouldn't be able to lift it into the car on my own (plus it's a new car which I've not driven yet). 5 minute drive. He said "no problem" and again, seemed all up for it.

So still dead excited, confirmed with seller they still had it, double checked again with DH that he would come with (said he would, no problem) - I agree a time with seller and suddenly DH says "I don't want to, can't be arsed". He goes on to say that my hobby shouldn't involve him "messing around" and it's not my hobby at all if he's the one running around doing everything!! I'd asked him to help me get it home, that's it! Fuming and just feel so deflated and sad that he can't be arsed to do a 5 minute drive with me for something I've been excited about all weekend.

On top on this my eldest son (18) has "misplaced" my Mother's Day present (read - drank it) and I have received no cards from either of my kids (got a box of after eights from youngest). Eldest greeted me this morning with "why do you weigh your cereal? Why are you so weird? Is it because you want to look like a 20 year old like them?" (I was looking through catalogue).

Fucked off, fed up and feel like telling them all to do one.

OP posts:
RiversrunWoodville · 26/03/2017 13:36

I can help you op is it a defender? You've done the hard bit with the seats driving them is much easier than you think! They have power steering although a bit heavier than a wee car obviously so you will do this and say a massive Fuck you to him. Just jump in (you can adjust the seat nearer if you need which took me ages to realise although I may just be thick lol) and tell yourself you are bigger than most vehicles so actually have a really good view of the road. The clutch in ours is more sensitive than I expected but apart from that I loved driving it and if we had to go somewhere requiring both vehicles I let DH take the jeep and I drive the Land Rover. Good luck and imagine MNers with you op

FeralBeryl · 26/03/2017 13:36

Pick the bookcase up - then go off roading in the new Landy Grin get it all muddy.
Well done you - enjoy your mission!

ModerateBecomingGoodLater · 26/03/2017 13:37

Nice work and good luck. My DH can be a bit like this about my hobby. All super enthusistic until it involves him cooperating with childcare.

ifyoulikepinacolada · 26/03/2017 13:39

Yayy go OP! I can't drive for medical reasons but can lift heavy objects and would totally help out if the seller's near me :) well done!

Guitargirl · 26/03/2017 13:40

I would get that bookcase home myself through hell or high water. And then I would be telling my useless waste of a space controlling excuse of a husband to do one.

Good luck OP. You can do this.

picklemepopcorn · 26/03/2017 13:40

FlowersFlowersFlowers for Mothering Sunday
StarStarStarStar for driving the car and
GinGinGinGin to help you recover after.

Arkengarthdale · 26/03/2017 13:41

And a Land Rover will go through hell or high water so you'll be fine Grin

MrsHathaway · 26/03/2017 13:43

Go you!

Have a pub lunch while you're out - beer garden would be lovely today. Then you can have a sandwich this evening and won't care that nobody's cooked.

notapizzaeater · 26/03/2017 13:46

Good for you, I'd take hours and hours and come home via a pub for my dinner - sod the lot of them

Deux · 26/03/2017 13:58

If you've got an old tarpaulin lay that down in the back and it's easier to push and slide the furniture in and out.

Look forward to seeing the proud picture of the bookcase.

Topseyt · 26/03/2017 14:01

Hope you are out collecting it by now. Your DH is being a total arse. Get your lovely bookcase and ignore his childishness.

I always find when driving a different vehicle from ones I am used to that the first time is always the worst. Beyond that you begin to get the measure of them and it is much better from there on. You can do this.

Yes to getting a nice meal at the pub for you and any of your sons who have come to help. Your Mothers' Day treat to yourself, and two fingers up to twatty DH. He can sort himself out today for being such an arse.

SolomanDaisy · 26/03/2017 14:03

I hope you get it back alright!

WitchDancer · 26/03/2017 14:03

Well done for not giving in! Hope you've managed to load it ok

Beahun · 26/03/2017 14:18

Where are you op? I'm in Herts and I would love to come and help you if you still need it. I'm sure my DH would come and help as well.
I'm sorry about your H (no D) and your children x

yaela123 · 26/03/2017 14:28

Doesn't sound like he's going to see any of the money you earn!

Ifionlyknewthenwhatiknownow3 · 26/03/2017 14:32

Please try not to let your kids grow up to be joysuckers too.

DixieNormas · 26/03/2017 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honeylulu · 26/03/2017 14:44

Yay well done OP . So glad you decided to go anyway.

I wanted to say when I bought my first flat I had to buy most furniture second hand and I managed to collect some really big stuff myself including a sofa and dining room table. The seller would help me to load and I'd get a friend or neighbour to help the other end. It's amazing what you can do when you have to.
Happy mothers day OP.

RedastheRose · 26/03/2017 14:46

He is being selfish, controlling and manipulative. Is he always like this? Read about narcissistic tendencies and see if there are other red flags. If he is narcissistic then he won't like you having anything that is just yours in particular if it is something that will give you a bit of independence and the ability to earn more money. Gaslighting saying something then lying about having said it at all is a common narc tactic.

Chottie · 26/03/2017 14:55

I really hope you've done it.

I drive my son's Defender and I am a MiL / DGM and probably at least 20 years older than you. Good luck and solidarity to you, sister!

Original poster
Zhan · 26/03/2017 15:02

Look what I got 😃😃😃😃

And that landrover is the best car I have ever driven! I feel on top of the world - not because I got a bookcase but because I found myself again and remembered I was "me" before I was "us".
I even got it out the car and into the "garden house" without him. Put the seats back up - parked it back where it was and cracked open a beer. Thanks to everyone to encouraged me to go x

God forbid I ask for a favour from DH (and don't even get me started on Mother's Day!)
OP posts:
SantinoRice · 26/03/2017 15:05

Well done OP, I'm so pleased you didn't quit!

And are you serious - that bookcase cost £10?! I need to follow you round for more bargains.

SootSprite · 26/03/2017 15:05

Well done Zhan, I'm so pleased it went well. Onwards and upwards for you 👍🏻

Clnz4fun · 26/03/2017 15:06

Nothing says I don't need you more than getting up and doing it all anyway op.
And he's lost his game by you doing so.

I would have done the same thing.

He is a prize twat and that's being nice.

Guitargirl · 26/03/2017 15:06

Woo hoo! Go OP! Great stuff! Hope you enjoy your painting (and beer) Smile

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