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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

God forbid I ask for a favour from DH (and don't even get me started on Mother's Day!)

166 replies

Zhan · 26/03/2017 12:08

So yesterday I spoke to DH about furniture restoration - something I would like to do as a hobby and something that could generate us a bit of extra cash. He was all up for it. I spoke about how excited I was about the project and told him I'd found an old bookcase for sale for £10 which I had great ideas for. Again, he was all up for it. I said I needed one favour and that was that he come with me to pick it up as I wouldn't be able to lift it into the car on my own (plus it's a new car which I've not driven yet). 5 minute drive. He said "no problem" and again, seemed all up for it.

So still dead excited, confirmed with seller they still had it, double checked again with DH that he would come with (said he would, no problem) - I agree a time with seller and suddenly DH says "I don't want to, can't be arsed". He goes on to say that my hobby shouldn't involve him "messing around" and it's not my hobby at all if he's the one running around doing everything!! I'd asked him to help me get it home, that's it! Fuming and just feel so deflated and sad that he can't be arsed to do a 5 minute drive with me for something I've been excited about all weekend.

On top on this my eldest son (18) has "misplaced" my Mother's Day present (read - drank it) and I have received no cards from either of my kids (got a box of after eights from youngest). Eldest greeted me this morning with "why do you weigh your cereal? Why are you so weird? Is it because you want to look like a 20 year old like them?" (I was looking through catalogue).

Fucked off, fed up and feel like telling them all to do one.

OP posts:
StandAndBeCounted · 26/03/2017 15:07

And how is the H behaving now?

VioletHornswaggle · 26/03/2017 15:07

Good luck op. I recommend a mouse sander for you, no more meals cooked by you for the eldest and a 'fuck off you utter penis' to your husband.

Wando1986 · 26/03/2017 15:08

Now dump the arsehole! What a crank.

VioletHornswaggle · 26/03/2017 15:09

Ooh, just been the bookshelf! Post progress reports please!

00100001 · 26/03/2017 15:09

👍👍👍👍

Zhan · 26/03/2017 15:09

Yep £10 - woman said she'd got it from an antique fair years ago but it's a bit scratched and worn - she knew straight I wanted it for a project. It weights a ton! Can't wait to get started. I'm going to paint it distressed white, fix a wooden heart or flower to the top centre point and swap the old brass handles for flower handles - sell it on as a little girl's bookcase :-) x

OP posts:
00100001 · 26/03/2017 15:10

Make sure when you sell it on make sure you spend ALL the money on just you!

Butterymuffin · 26/03/2017 15:10

Great. Now ignore the rest of your miserable family members for an indefinite period. I hope they enjoy doing washing, cooking and everything else for themselves. No more help from you if they don't pitch in.

Topseyt · 26/03/2017 15:11

Well done. Did you photograph the look on DH's face? Presumably he was convinced that you couldn't possibly have managed without the big, strong twat there.

Zhx3 · 26/03/2017 15:11

Well done, op! Cheering for you!

I hope your husband and son don't treat you like that on a regular basis?

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2017 15:12

Well done op. It shows what you can do and it shows them you can do it too

Enjoy your beer and doing the book case up. I think it sounds lovely.

picklemepopcorn · 26/03/2017 15:12

Keep your own money separately OP. Just in case!

mumoseven · 26/03/2017 15:15

Yay for Zhan! Next time I'm feeling overwhelmed by doubt I shall say ' what would Zhan do?' to myself xx

paddypants13 · 26/03/2017 15:16

Well done op!

You can now be smuggy mcsmugerson the smuggest person in the land. GrinStar

Gingernaut · 26/03/2017 15:16

We'll want a pic when it's finished. Grin

JennyHolzersGhost · 26/03/2017 15:17

Yay! I love that - "I was me before us" ! As others have said, if you don't have a stash of your own money tucked away in a bank account somewhere then make sure you sort that out asap.

RandomDent · 26/03/2017 15:17

Did he buy a big car so you wouldn't drive it? Shock

Love the bookcase, glad you're feeling good. :)

JennyHolzersGhost · 26/03/2017 15:17

And enjoy the well deserved beer !

Zhan · 26/03/2017 15:19

Haha 😃 To be fair I would normally have sulked and not gone and blamed everyone else for the fact that I lose out on it - just today it was the outright nastiness of it, leading me on then letting me down last minute, lying saying I'd made up conversations in my head and then called me aggressive and making out that he was a victim of my madness - I've just had enough. I won't live like that! And I'll never ask for another favour either.

OP posts:
Guitargirl · 26/03/2017 15:22

The way you've described it Zhan it sounds like pretty text-book gas-lighting behaviour on his part.

You won't believe how happy I am that a stranger on the internet has taken a stand like this Grin.

SantinoRice · 26/03/2017 15:25

All he's done, in behaving like that, is he's shown you that you don't need him.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 well done, bloke Grin

ohtheholidays · 26/03/2017 15:27

Just read all the way through Zhan well done for forcing yourself out of your comfort zone you've done brilliantly and I bet that's shocked your not so dear husband!

If it was me like PP have said I'd be ignoring him and refusing to do anything else for him and the same goes for your DC that are old enough to know better and if they ask what's up tell them!

Ask them how they'd like it if you forgot a day that was special to them and how they'd feel if you drank a present you'd bought for them!
Let them make it upto you!

ahamsternest · 26/03/2017 15:33

I'm so impressed OP, well done!

Sgtmajormummy · 26/03/2017 15:39

A Mothers' Day to remember for various reasons, OP,

Congratulations and I hope your DC realise what a great model YOU are giving them for their future relationships.
Also love the bookcase project BTW.
Flowers

BadTasteFlump · 26/03/2017 15:40

I'll be honest, when I started reading this thread, I was thinking, yes your DH sounds like an arse, but stop being such a precious girl and just go get the bookcase yourself....

But now after seeing that photo - it looks fecking mahoosive, and really heavy too - so am 100% impressed and sorry for being a bit judgy Flowers Gin

And you can do better than that sulky man-child, btw.