To be annoyed at my brother and SIL?

[rainbowsockstoday]

My brother and his fiancé are getting married in June. The wedding has been in the planning for a couple of years now and they have been full on all the time so some us will be pleased when the constant pressure stops. I'm a bridesmaid and so am trying to be positive but yesterday all people did was complain about me!

My first crime was that I'm going home the day after the wedding (it's abroad) on the Sunday because I have school on the Monday. My family told me to just tell school that I'll be in later that week so I can stay longer. They don't seem to understand that as a teacher I can't just put in holiday and have to go during term time.

My second is not going to the first hen do (there's three) because it's going to be nearly £400 and that's a lot for one weekend when we are already paying £1100 to attend the wedding.

Third is saying I don't want to lose weight. We are ttc right now so it's not an ideal time to go on a crash diet and I'm not overweight (size 8). She wants us all to "look our best" because she has to "look at the wedding pictures forever" given I'm buying my own bridesmaids dress I don't see what it matters.

I think I'm just being over sensitive because they called our wedding boring so feel free to call me out on it.

You have to laugh. Each new ridiculous thing added to the list makes it even funnier.
Just keep telling them how wonderful it will be and how you are looking forward to each ridiculous part of it whilst rolling your eyes secretly

Crazy, you are flying over there presumably just for the weekend as it's termtime and they are treating you like this.

They are lucky that you are going at all.

they sound totally and utterly unreasonable on all counts, you poor thing. no advice really - but i bet you cant wait for it all to be over.

Ha, they're mad. Just take it all with a mahoosive pinch of salt, ignore the backbiting and bitching, go, leave, have as good a time as you can manage given the stupidity of the brideandgroomzillas, and then put it behind you!

I'd be tempted to dye my hair green just prior, I have to say, just to see the look on their faces...

Feck me. I refuse to believe this is just a moment of madness.
Tell us more, what has her past form been like?

I don't have a great relationship with them. Me falling pregnant three years ago made them use loads of mean things like saying I wasn't really pregnant and faked the scan picture for attention and that the baby wasn't my boyfriends (it was and he's the double of him). Then when he was born they announced their plans to get engaged, then proposal party, engagement party, save the date party, and a million other invites and emails about where we need to be and what we need to do.

For this alone never mind the whole wedding overkill fiasco I wouldnt go near them with a barge pole. I certainly wouldnt entertain their constant demands and spend ££££ on them. Tell them to go do one and have a holiday with your oh and child and laugh at how their wedding will be one freak out after another as bridezilla makes herself look like a loon 'being important'
You dont need vile people in your life just cos they are related to you.

Just read the pg stuff. They are toxic. That's really horrible.

Unbelievable! If it was me I'd just show up to the bits that you have to, be pleasant, avoid any dramas, and secretly have a laugh at the madness of it all!! I bet you that if she ever becomes pregnant it will be like she's the first woman to ever give birth and raise a child!! I know someone who's a bit like this, where the whole world revolves around her, and she gets rather annoyed when others don't seem overly interested, which seems to be the best way to deal with it ha ha!!

Every post makes them sound even worse. Considering their treatment of you up until now, what could possibly happen that's worse than the lies and the abuse they've subjected you to? In your shoes, is be cancelling both hen nights and rethinking attending the wedding. £1100 is a whole lot of money to spend on a wedding for 2 people who've treated you so badly.

Wow they sound awful. I agree, go and have a giggle. Are you sure your son is invited?

Why are women agreeing to slim down for the bride?? It's mad. You are wanted for your presence, not your dress size, surely?

Here is a clue...

I'd like to be your friend.

I'd avoid all of your family like the Niro virus.

I hear NZ is a lovely place to bring up children...

Why do you have to go, Op?

Sounds like a waste of time & money to me!

@user we said the same thing about them having children. They'll be the only people to ever have a baby and no one will be able to understand! I know people like that too and purposely made sure I wasn't a new mum nightmare.

@mummyoflittledragon my son is invited as a pageboy. They'll freak out though when they realise I've saved money by letting him wear the same suit he wore at my wedding last year (we bought two sizes and kept both)

@diddl I have to go because it's my brother and the whole family is going. My parents wouldn't speak to me again if I didn't go. Plus my dh says we should go as he's very family orientated. Although he has a lovely family so should be. I'd actually pick my in-laws over my family sometimes!

I am a size 18/20 and would really love to go along and photobomb all your SIL wedding photo's.

Wait until it is all over then you can say - "Can you remember what an absolute bore you were and how the day never lives up to expectation? Seeing as how you thought our day was boring, yours was utter tedious!! So glad it is over!"

"I have to go because it's my brother and the whole family is going. My parents wouldn't speak to me again if I didn't go. Plus my dh says we should go as he's very family orientated."

Tbh, I don't see any of those as valid reasons-especially when said family treat you like shit!

My parents wouldn't speak to me ever again from what you've said surely that would be a bonus.

"My parents wouldn't speak to me again if I didn't go."
Really not getting why that would be a problem.

"Plus my dh says we should go as he's very family orientated."
Fair enough. But I think you and your DH should seriously consider if your parents and brother really meet the full criteria of 'family', over and above sharing DNA. Do they support you? No. Do they love and cherish you? I'd argue not. Could you depend on them when the chips are down? I'd be surprised.

And who on god's earth has a 'proposal party'? Weirdos.

You're a size 8, asking you to diet is even more ridiculous then our would be anyway. What would they do of you were pregnant by then and showing??
They're being ridiculous. Deep breaths, is nearly over...

I missed the proposal party, what's that??

I get why WhereYouLeftIt is saying not a problem. My brother is golden child. My mother has been bloody awful to me and remains so.

The knowledge that sil2b would be shocked about the outfit should give you cause to smile at her ridiculousness. I lt really reminds me of the sort of plays Voltaire wrote. I can just see her in all her buffoonery finery having a fit à la "Les Précieuses ridicules". If you haven't read it, I can recommend. Easy to pick up an English version.

I disagree with the previous posters. I think you should diet for her. A special wedding diet.

You are going to need a lot of butter and cream cakes. Fish and chips in giant portions are going to form a big part of it. Oh and make sure you have chocolate for breakfast - big bars, please - every day. If you must eat veg, make sure they are fried in some way. Learn to embrace the double carb concept: chip butties, chips and rice with all the lovely takeaway you're going to have.

I'll have you up to a size 14 in no time, you'll look lovely in your dress, lots of nice curvy bottom and great tits, the photos will be fab!

(Seriously though - you SIL is batshit. Try to imagine it's a bridezilla documentary and you're a researcher taking notes.)

I wouldn't want my son around such toxic twats.

If the weight issue was mentioned again I'd ask how much weight the groom and male members of the wedding party were trying to lose, and what type of diets they were doing. FFS.

@expatinscotland we maybe see them once or twice a year so he's not being influenced by them or really around them. He's a smart little munchkin so even when they are around (at family occasions) he doesn't give them much time.

I will be going to the wedding but only the hen do that's out there the day before and not the massive expensive ones beforehand as we are ttc and I'd rather spend it on the new baby and my dc