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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really annoyed at this family?

232 replies

staveleymum · 24/03/2017 10:20

Every day (and I mean every) one family are late for school. They have 3 children and obviously mum doesn't drive as Dad brings them in the car and drops them off (on double yellows or a no parking area but that's a different rant)! I usually see them as I'm walking back to my car after I've waved my 2 in so I know they are late. It's only 5 - 10 mins but it must be disruptive to the class (their DD is my DD's class).

I know there is a special Mothers Day assembly this morning that Reception class do and one of their children is in this class. They cant even get to school on time for that event (and they didnt seem to be in much of a rush when I saw them either)!

I know they only live a mile away so they dont get caught up in traffic. Is it too much to ask to get them to school on time?

I dont suppose there is a lot the Head can do about it either? It just really winds me up every time I see them!

OP posts:
Onlyaplasticbagdear · 25/03/2017 09:04

Jesus wept, get over yourself op.

KERALA1 · 25/03/2017 09:11

I feel sorry for the kids - I was an uptight child myself and got horribly stressed at the prospect of being late. Dd 1 is the same.

That said we were once spectacularly late when my watch stopped. I thought there had been a zombie apocalypse as streets were deserted. Dd1 got severely reprimanded- I have never been allowed to forget it!

gamerwidow · 25/03/2017 09:26

Op I also feel sorry for the kids who are late everyday we have the same ones late all the time in our school. It's even worse because Fridays are non school uniform for those with 100% attendance and punctuality so they're singled out every week as the only ones in uniform. I hate it because it's not their fault if their parents can't be bothered to get up on time. It's different for older kids but little ones rely on their parents to be organised.

Absintheshots · 25/03/2017 09:27

lola and my point is that you should plan for 30 minutes instead of 15 to get them out of the door.

You seem to think that all kids are a breeze in the morning,magically getting ready and dancing through the door. I don't know any mum who doesn't struggle one way or another at least at some point (lucky ones who don't). It doesn't mean you are late.

I don't like the idea that some kids are on time because their parents are lucky.

woodhill · 25/03/2017 09:28

It's annoying but not the end of the world.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 25/03/2017 09:32

I work in a school and often know back stories....

I do remember a few years ago we had a family who were late every day - no real back story (that I was aware of anyway)...however I didn't judge, but I felt so sorry for the pupil. She was in the last year of primary and she was very very self conscious, very anxious about the transition to secondary (where the children are given detentions and punishments for being consistently late)....

I would have loved to give the parents a bit of a shake - they seemed completely oblivious to what this was doing to their child.

Shockers · 25/03/2017 17:22

Poor kids.

I was late for school every day. The rest of our life was similarly chaotic too.

I hated it and now try to be early for everything.

morningconstitutional2017 · 25/03/2017 17:35

IME those who live nearest the school have the most difficulty getting there on time. As the journey is so short not enough time is allowed and it's always a mad dash.

Add to that a lack of organisation and then they're undoubtably in trouble.

thisisatempname · 25/03/2017 17:50

OP you need to MYOB. They could have disabilities, health conditions, all sorts going on. It's the school's responsibility to sort it.

You sound really nasty actually. Stop making assumptions and judgements.

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo · 25/03/2017 18:21

OP, is it directly impacting on your DD?
If not then just ignore - it's not your problem. Be glad!

Beeziekn33ze · 25/03/2017 18:23

OP - And this is your concern because ...??

eviethehamster · 25/03/2017 18:28

Nosy much OP? A little judgy?

Geez.

MyScaryHairyMary · 25/03/2017 18:30

Get a life OP clearly have too much time on your hands

fiorentina · 25/03/2017 18:33

I think it's selfish as it impacts on others, the children must disturb others who are settled down or have started activities.
But I also think being continually late is rude and lazy and shows lack of consideration for others..

QueenofPentacles · 25/03/2017 18:45

That must be so disconcerting for you. I bet when you get home you sort out the freezer for hours before you ensure the pot plants are equidistant.
You can't control the whole world

Flutterby11 · 25/03/2017 19:10

Throughout my entire school career from reception to VI form, we were the family that were always at least 5 and sometimes 15 or 20 minutes late and I absolutely hated it. It caused an underlying level of stress that affected me every single day - I would even find myself hoping we'd have an accident on way to school in order to have a cast iron reason as to why we were late again.

As a parent now, I hate being late especially wrt dc. OP, I wouldnt worry so much about what other families are doing esp since you are not likely to know the full story. Sending bad vibes their way may impact the dc in negative way. The school will sort out whatever they need to.

randomer · 25/03/2017 19:20

Why are you keeping taps on them?

yes why?

clarabellb · 25/03/2017 19:48

Yawn

user1475439961 · 25/03/2017 19:55

Goodness. Try not to worry about other people being late. You really don't know why they are late and it will not effect your child's class. The teachers just carry on as normal!

FinallyDebtFree · 25/03/2017 20:03

YANBU OP, I was the kid of these feckless parents...it affected me to the point of my mental health. Being the kid that's always late was horrible.

My saving grace was finally being able to get myself to school but even now at nearly 40 I'm terrified of being late and have panic attacks if I'm not 5 minutes early.

goingslightlycrazy · 25/03/2017 21:17

We look like a 'normal' family but my DD3 has ASD.

I am that late parent.

It takes at least 2 hrs to get her ready & still sometimes that's not enough. My DS2 hates being late.

What I dread the most is the judgy parents I have to pass. I cry most days once back in my car.

I feel really sad reading the posts that are judgy. Thank you to those of you who see that there may be reasons that other families struggle

mrsbaffled · 25/03/2017 21:34

I work in a school. The children who are late miss out on their daily handwriting practise. Also I run 2 intervention groups before the register. It's very disruptive for me to reschedule them to another time in the day, and I am fully timetabled so often these don't happen.

What's more annoying is when children are collected late....I am paid for school hours only, but regularly stay late on the gate with the same children....over a week I waste more than an hour waiting for parents, unpaid.

LegoNinjago · 25/03/2017 22:04

I feel really sad reading the posts that are judgy. Thank you to those of you who see that there may be reasons that other families struggle

This.
I've child with severe food allergies - we're constantly late for a year due to regular stomach cramps after every single breakfast.
Don't judge until you know the backstory OP and count your blessings

eviethehamster · 25/03/2017 22:06

Do yourself a favour if you are a judgy poster and learn to live by this:

"Always assume greater complexity".

It will take you far.

cherish123 · 25/03/2017 22:15

Are you bored? You clearly have no problems of your own.

This is not really your concern. Why does the fact that the father drops them off mean the mother does not drive?