AIBU to be really annoyed at this family?

[staveleymum]

Every day (and I mean every) one family are late for school. They have 3 children and obviously mum doesn't drive as Dad brings them in the car and drops them off (on double yellows or a no parking area but that's a different rant)! I usually see them as I'm walking back to my car after I've waved my 2 in so I know they are late. It's only 5 - 10 mins but it must be disruptive to the class (their DD is my DD's class).

I know there is a special Mothers Day assembly this morning that Reception class do and one of their children is in this class. They cant even get to school on time for that event (and they didnt seem to be in much of a rush when I saw them either)!

I know they only live a mile away so they dont get caught up in traffic. Is it too much to ask to get them to school on time?

I dont suppose there is a lot the Head can do about it either? It just really winds me up every time I see them!

[Sample1936]

Looneytune it's not late if the class door is already open. It may not be early but it's not late.

[WorraLiberty]

I work with my local primary school's attendance officer now and then, and you'd be shocked at what some parents/children have to go through just to get out of the door anywhere near on time.

Honestly, some of them must feel as though they've done a whole day's work before 9am.

It really opened my eyes, so I would never judge them. Also, other parents/teachers would never necessarily know about it because why would they?

[SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter]

Have a cuppa and do calm down

Not your dc, not your problem.
You don't know anything about there life maybe they have an agreement with the school about coming late, or maybe it's an issue the school are trying to sort

[Absintheshots]

Worra but what is the target? A specific time in the morning (they try to be there before 10am regardless), or they try to be there around the start time, meaning they will be 15mn late if they start a 8:30 or if they start at 9:15?
If there is a valid reason why they can't turn up before a set time (dad finishing his night shift and just back home to do the school run, morning medical appointment), fair enough.
Some families are just 10-15 minutes late regardless of the start time, and that's where I judge!

[JonesyAndTheSalad]

You have NO idea what's going on for them. They could have serious health issues or about to be evicted or ANY one of a number of things.

Worry about yourself and why you're focused on a family you don't even know!

[Bluntness100]

So maybe we should all start doing that. ...

Huh? Are you reading a different thread maybe? No one said it was ok to be continually late, what is being said is it's not the ops business, it's for the school and family to sort out and she's being unreasonable to be "really annoyed" with the family, she doesn't know them, she doesn't live with them, she doesn't know what happens in their home every morning that causes the lateness.

[TheWitTank]

I used to have to bring DS in to school after everybody else was in as he couldn't cope with the noise, crowding and disruption caused by the usual morning rush. He came in when everyone was seated. I didn't broadcast his special needs to the whole school so undoubtedly some would probably wonder judge why I was "late" every day. I couldn't give a shit to be honest.

[WorraLiberty]

Abs the individual families had individual problems.

And I'm quite sure that yes, other parents do judge because they know nothing about what's happening at home.

[wizzywig]

Why does it bother you? I dont understand.

[Oldraver]

I'm sure every school has a few laters.. At DS's school anything after 9am is late, but the bell goes at 8.50 and all the children are sat working before 9..I always felt sorry for the girl running in after everyone else was sat done

[icanteven]

Consistent lateness is a mystery to me. If you arrive at 9.10 EVERY SINGLE MORNING, aware you are late and stressed about it, then surely it is very simple to work out that starting 15 minutes earlier in the morning will get you there on time?

But you are being a bit U to let it get to you to the extent that you're posting about it on Mumsnet. You need to take a deep breath and let it go.

[wettunwindee]

Wait until you're a head or teacher and need to justify to these habitually late parents why their child is not making the progress at school they'd expect.

Late children also tend to be yawners, the ones who don't have breakfast and struggle to concentrate.

Tose 10 minutes are much less important in a special assembly but when you're using those 10 minutes for a maths intro or explanation of an individual task and then need to do it again for one pupil, it's a pain in the arse.

When their being late is so expected that you actually change your daily plan so that one child doesn't miss out, you may be best advised to sit on your hands during parents meetings so you don't throttle the fuckers!

YABU for caring. I wouldn't BU for screaming in the parents faces!

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

OP, you need to read a book or something. Get some interests in your life.

If you see them every day as you're leaving them either you're cutting it pretty fine or their lateness is barely existent.

Seriously, there must be so many hobbies you could look into to fill your brain with something worth actually thinking about.

[Absintheshots]

and she's being unreasonable to be "really annoyed" with the family

Why is it unreasonable, when yourself make a real effort to ensure your kids are on time? It's irritating to think that you probably shouldn't bother yourself with timekeeping.

[PortiaCastis]

Mind your own business and keep your beak out of other peoples affairs.

[courtwood]

YABU you know nothing about that family's home life
,I've got three kids who are always late and theres not a thing I can do about it. all three have quite severe sensory issues and if they hear the bell there will be a meltdown, they cannot queue and buzz of the other kids chatter will affect them too so they must wait until class has settled in to work before they can join in, We have an agreement in place with school,
I'm used to parents hoiking up their Judgy pants but why should I explain my family difficulties with strangers

[WorraLiberty]

Why is it unreasonable, when yourself make a real effort to ensure your kids are on time? It's irritating to think that you probably shouldn't bother yourself with timekeeping.

It's irritating to want to get your kids to school on time because some others don't?

I suppose if the parent is that irritated, they can always turn up late too. Not fair on their kids, but there you go.

[Oly5]

Seriously, you need to find something else to focus your emotional energy on.
What does this have to do with you?

[averylongtimeago]

Are you the school late monitor? No?
Mind your own business.

[Pumpkin16]

Who cares?! Disruption 5-10 mins in? Kids are still settling down, taking off coats etc. Don't let it bother you so much.

[Sample1936]

Iwasjustabouttosaythat your name all over! i was going to suggest getting a hobby too... Like your brain must be so empty or SO fixated on the family to keep noticing it daily...thats if its really a daily thing...

[DancingDragon]

We're often late in the mornings for various different reasons all beyond my control. Absolutely nowt to do with another parent though!!

[wettunwindee]

courtwood

The chances of 3 children in a family having "quite severe sensory issues" is tiny.

The chances of this family being late because the parents can't pull their finger out is much more likely.

Yes, there's bound to be a situation where SEN or MH problems are the cause, but on the whole, it isn't.

[TheStoic]

Why is it unreasonable, when yourself make a real effort to ensure your kids are on time? It's irritating to think that you probably shouldn't bother yourself with timekeeping.

So don't bother.

[1nsanityscatching]

Dd is never late but she has ASD, anxiety and is cutting a fine line between attending and school refusal. She's recently back in school full time after an agreed part time attendance which was agreed to prevent her refusing totally to attend so mornings are often traumatic for me and her both.
Dd couldn't bear to be late because of the attention that would bring but if those parents are experiencing even a modicum of the stress I do between 7am and 8.30am then they have my sympathy.
OP it's really none of your business and you should count yourself lucky that you have so little stress in your life that you have time to focus so much attention on another family that is impacting your life not one jot.