Correct time to text someone

[mummy2oneandtwo]

So last Saturday I text my friend at around 7am...I was up with my 2 young boys and it was the Next sale, which she usually goes to, so I was asking if she was going. She text back saying I text her too early and wake her up....

I said I was sorry but asked why does she not have her phone on silent at night to avoid this. She said it's on silent but vibrate. We left it at that.

This morning I took a snapchat video of my boys playing on the bed and sent it to a bunch of friends. It was about 7:20. She has now put her profile picture as a black screen saying "no snapchats before 8am" with an angry face....I am in shock at how laughable this is!!

Firstly it's a weekday and she has 2 young children, 1 school age, so would assume she was up, but also Snapchat doesn't send noise alerts from what I know, and also pretty passive aggressive!

I took on board not messaging before 8 on a weekend but didn't think about a snapchat at 7:20 on a weekday.

When her kids were little she would message at all random times of night...I had no problem with this...my phone just goes on silent when I sleep.

AIBU to think this is a bit of a crazy thing to have an issue with? Do I message and apologies or just ignore the not so subtle message directed at me?

What a load of crap, keep my phone on silent in another room whilst i'm in bed sleeping. Couldn't care less when anyone texts or rings, cause I will not see nor hear until i choose to look at my phone, when i am up. So let anyone text, snap or call me..... I'll see it when i see it. The way I look at it (and it comes from experience) if something happens and you need people need to contact you - they will always get you!!

This morning I took a snapchat video of my boys playing on the bed and sent it to a bunch of friends.

Playing what, the cello? Spontaneously?

I don't get snapchat, I really don't.

Playing what, the cello? Spontaneously?

I just woke the cat up laughing, want a pic? ;)

Yes!

I'll send it about 7.20am along with a pic of him yawning, licking his arse and jumping off the wardrobe oh wise MistressMerry

Way too early for a text, but I'm surprised so many people keep their phone on silent when there could be a family emergency? I always have mine on in case my family need to contact me (parents, siblings etc.).

Every morning i wake up to messages in group chats from friends and family discussing things with each other from 6am. Its normal. She needs to use do not disturb.

The first time was reasonable as it was time-specific. The second time you knew she didn't want early messages and it was something that could have waited. I'd never text before 9am (or 10am to childfree friends) and I'd be annoyed at getting early or late texts that weren't urgent.

While your intentions were benign, I think the fact that she asked you not to text before 7, is a reasonable request. 7 is a lie-in for some, middle-of-the-night for others. I think she has come across blunt, but I really don't think there is any other way to thwart a texting pre-seven enthusiastic. Plus, some people are really cranky in the morning & the text may have just sent her over the edge (especially as she was woken by it).

enthusiast*

Texting is an asynchronous communication tool.

You send it when it's convenient for you, and people can look at it when it's convenient for them.

The first time was reasonable as it was time-specific. The second time you knew she didn't want early messages and it was something that could have waited. I'd never text before 9am (or 10am to childfree friends) and I'd be annoyed at getting early or late texts that weren't urgent

Agree, 100%

She asked you not to text her so early yet you do it again??

So many drama llamas. Who makes a decision every day based only on the possibility of the police or hospital switchboard phoning to inform you of an emergency? Not only will most people never experience this (thank goodness) but I think you're overestimating how much the emergency services will be desperately trying to get hold of you. What do you really think would be so urgent?

I often send texts between 8 to 8.30am. I'm on the train by then, kids at breakfast club, not yet at work. I'm not expecting an immediate reply and realise others are busy. It's like a letter - I write it and post it at my convenience and the recipient reads it at theirs. Your friend is rude.

Yabu

I'd still be asleep at that time! I keep my phone on in case my family need to get hold of me but I never receive texts at that hour of the morning.

trainspotting1984 when DH's mum had a heart attack and his sister called at 5am he set off immediately and managed to see her for an hour or so before she died.

That kind of urgent is, I imagine, what people are referring to.

That's family calling though isn't it? The hospital wouldn't have been calling like that (unless the patient was known because they'd been having frequently treatment- but then family would presumably be "expecting" likely emergency contact.

Oh, heck. I'm glad most of you are not my friends.
I don't live in the UK, and know people all round the world. We have groups including people in the US, Europe, Middle East and Australia. There isn't physically a time we could send messages when someone wouldn't be in bed. So we leave phones not next to our beds, or silent. It's not rocket science. And i don't bother to work out the time difference when i send a message! The whole point of email, WhatsApp etc is that you send when it's convenient to you, and receive a response when it's convenient for the other people.

I'm with you, RedSand. Reading this thread makes me think that perhaps some people have much more 'predictable' lives than others. We know people in all sorts of different timezones and we travel a lot so we expect people to text at times that are convenient for them. Even if people on this thread want their phone on for emergency calls (which calls must be incredibly rare) they could still turn all other notifications to silent. No hospital is going to text you.

YANBU - if she doesn't want to be disturbed there are ways around that, including custom settings for emergencies.

sunset
Really? Its too difficult to think of a time zone difference for friends and family with whom you communicate regularly? In fact there are apps you can set on your phone for that including when travelling - I mean its just about learning to use a phone shurely?

Text messages used to be reliably async, that changed a long time ago (in my head in coincides with SMS replacing pagers for call out) and I've had messages via SMS for emergency calls, including from hospitals and its standard first contact for many jobs on call overnight.

Not everyone leads sufficiently predictable lives to know when an emergency will happen or who will make that call.

YANBU - if she doesn't want to be disturbed there are ways around that, including custom settings for emergencies.

No there are custom settings for particular numbers in your address book. Unless your phones have some magic psychic ability you can't set them based on the caller's intent.

Emergency calls do not come from your loved ones' number, I have no idea why people assume they will.

That me your talking to, Caffeine??
Yes, I will text at a time convenient to me, and no, I don't work out what time it will be received.
Of course i know what time it is with my parents, and others who regularly stay in one time zone. I can also roughly do most of Europe +it goes a bit out of since with summer time changes right now) and the Middle East, But I have absolutely no idea what time it is in most places in the US, or which coast my sale manager friends might be on.
And judging from the time i receive messages, most of us don't factor everyone's time zones into sending messages. Just like work colleagues don't factor in Friday is my weekend, and still send work messages (they don't expect to be received). And I reply on a Sunday.

I wouldn't text outside times I would call. If she's specifically asked you not to message that early why did you do it again?