Correct time to text someone

[mummy2oneandtwo]

So last Saturday I text my friend at around 7am...I was up with my 2 young boys and it was the Next sale, which she usually goes to, so I was asking if she was going. She text back saying I text her too early and wake her up....

I said I was sorry but asked why does she not have her phone on silent at night to avoid this. She said it's on silent but vibrate. We left it at that.

This morning I took a snapchat video of my boys playing on the bed and sent it to a bunch of friends. It was about 7:20. She has now put her profile picture as a black screen saying "no snapchats before 8am" with an angry face....I am in shock at how laughable this is!!

Firstly it's a weekday and she has 2 young children, 1 school age, so would assume she was up, but also Snapchat doesn't send noise alerts from what I know, and also pretty passive aggressive!

I took on board not messaging before 8 on a weekend but didn't think about a snapchat at 7:20 on a weekday.

When her kids were little she would message at all random times of night...I had no problem with this...my phone just goes on silent when I sleep.

AIBU to think this is a bit of a crazy thing to have an issue with? Do I message and apologies or just ignore the not so subtle message directed at me?

I use do not disturb between 11pm and 8am. I frequently wake up to messages and can then deal with them at my convenience.

The whole point of a text is that it's (generally) non urgent so the sender sends it when they remember/when it's convenient, and the recipient can respond when it suits them. If she doesn't want to be disturbed then she can turn vibrate off.

If she doesn't want to turn vibrate off entirely for whatever reason, you can silence notifications for individual conversations within apps.

Actually I think you're being s bit unreasonable. Firstly who needs to send pics of their children playing st that time in the morning. And secondly she'd already told you once.

It's her call if she wishes her phone on vibrate through the night. I don't think it's ok to force her to change her behaviour so you can send her random things any time you fancy....if a friend of mine said don't text before eight I'd say sure and not text before eight. I would not say I'll text when I want, put your phone on silent.

I also wouldn't text someone early in the morning unless it was really important.

Take the pic then send it at eight.

Genuinely interested to know - To those who keep their phones on in case someone needs to call them in an emergency, do you no longer have a landline phone?

Cars don't race past. Don't remember the last time I heard a helicopter. Don't get wrong numbers and have spoken to annoying party house neighbour about drop offs at 4 am.

From the op I took it that this friend had specifically already asked not to be texted before 8am and my opinion is that if someone asks you not to do something like not text before 8am then to carry on is rude as fuck.

It was a video of boys Playing. It could have waited til after 8.

My phone is on dnd at night. With certain numbers able to get through.

Regardless Of whether I'm a poor sleeper or not, if my friend asked me not to text before 8 I wouldn't. I just think it's rude.

I always welcome friends / family sending me texts, watsapp etc. Time is irrelevant (that's what the Off function on your phone is for).

So sad your friend appears to feel so crabby about it. You are not out of order in my world!

I don't have a landline.

I keep my phone on silent (no vibrate) and encourage my staff to email / sms at any time that suits them about anything. I think that's the same as this scenario.

I think the issue is more sending a video of your boys playing on a bed. Understand that as your children you think they're cute. Others don't.

As someone using snapchat, you're likely quite young. I think that your friend is being a little U as it was an alert, not a call. I think you're a little U sending people a video of children on a bed. Watching that is time you can't get back!

Unless it's urgent then, as a guide, office hours, bit later perhaps, is safe unless you know them very well. I wouldn't be amused at receiving a text before the alarm went off, some picture of boys playing. I'd think you were having a joke.
I don't change settings in case I do receive something genuinely urgent.

I know a few teenagers who would disagree with me (ex teacher, tutor etc). Any time seems to be fine, apparently

You've pissed her off (i.e. by messaging her at a time when she'd previously asked you not to) so I think the grown-up thing to do is apologise and stop messaging her before 8am. She's been pretty clear about it. Is it really that hard to resist snapchatting her first thing in the morning?

tigerrun I always put my phone on silent at night, and forget to change the settings most days but still use it as an alarm clock.

It's not just friends texting at unsociable hours though. I get all sorts all through the night

Once a month I get a text from O2 at some ungodly hour to tell me my bill is available to view, my bank sends a daily automated text at 5am with the previous days transactions on (my card was cloned so they set it up as a precaution), my email pings with junk email on and off all night.

Stick it on DND and nothing gets through unless it's an emergency.

Too early for me & it would irritate me.

i wouldn't be happy to a) get texts at 7am on any morning b) get videos of anyone's kids (including my own) early, particularly if i'd already asked that person to stop doing it.

OP i don't think anyone is THAT interested in your kids that they need videos and photos of them sending in the morning?

Why are people saying its unreasonable to send a snapchat of kids playing. Snapchat doesn't even alert that i'm aware of, no one is going to send an "emergency" SnapChat so everyone knows it wont be something urgent that needs opening and SnapChat is for pointless things like funny selfies, kids being silly or pets looking cute...

Not a crazy thing to have an issue with. I am happy to receive messages at any time of day or night but some people aren't, and you already knew that she wasn't okay with it.

A similar thread was posted a few weeks ago: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2671750-texting-early-morning-late-at-night

Why should the poor woman turn her phone off? She might use the alarm on it!

I'd be seriously if a friend of mine sent me a video of her children at 7.20am!

Absintheshots - yes, can imagine that might be an issue, also might cause problems when I'm calling it to locate it from wherever I have absentmindedly put it down/left it in coat pocket/child has put it down side of sofa/it is under a pile of paperwork (which might happen on an almost daily basis !!

I'm going to look at these do not disturb settings where you can set it to allow certain numbers though (if I'm understanding right that that is a thing!?)

@Universitychallenging It was a video of boys Playing. It could have waited til after 8.

Well I agree with you there. In fact, that sort of thing could have waited till the 12th of never...

Last Saturday I asked my mil not to text or snapchat before 8am.

She sent me a video of her dogs playing at 7.20am this morning.

AIBU to think she should respect my wishes?

oh for gods sake - a snapchat doesnt make a sound - she doesnt have to look at it until she is ready. YANBU in my opinion. She needs to chill out..

"Why should the poor woman turn her phone off? She might use the alarm on it!"

The alarm will still go off, assuming it's a smartphone. You can just set the alarm and turn the phone off. Or leave it on silent, or on DND mode, or set it so that only certain numbers come through.

Bonkers. If people choose to have their phone in their bedroom at night, they need to be responsible for managing their notifications! It's not like you are ringing her at that time of morning.

Tigereun. Yes. If you've got an iPhone it's in your settings. You can schedule it to switch on/off automatically and allow certain numbers to get through.