To be really angry with DH

[Motherslittlehinderance22]

NC. Bit of history. My DH and myself are "drinkers" and have over the years used drugs recreationally. We appear as nice middle class family.
A few years ago my DH developed a bit of a coke habit. I took it sometimes too but could take it or leave it. I gave him an ultimatum (his family or the drug) when I could see him getting out of control and he quit.
Fast forward 10!years and I have health issues that are preventing me from working. I was prescribed Valium for pain, (28 pills in total) which I stopped taking a few weeks ago but still had about 22 pills left.
I told DH I was taking one last week to help me sleep.....he decided to take a couple just for the hell of it. No big deal. Don't judge.
I left the open packets on the kitchen counter.
I just caught sight of them tonight and noticed they were looking a bit empty.......there are 3 pills left.
I'm furious with him for taking MY medication for starters and for being irresponsible taking a highly addictive drug without telling me, given his previous issues.
I really don't know how to approach this with him. I want to go ballistic at him but don't think this is the right approach as he'll just get defensive.
Any ideas?

Christ alive there are a lot of judgemental people on this thread.

GPs prescribe diazepam for people in severe pain sometimes. The people with the pain take the drug that has been prescribed. This is not outrageous or wrong behaviour or addiction in the making and the GP didn't do anything wrong prescribing diazepam for pain management.

It pisses me off when posters start on the waste of NHS resources bandwagon. Pain can and should be properly treated with medication. there is a huge difference between taking medication for pain (and for sleep problems) and taking it just because you fancy it.

Don't be tarring everyone who takes diazepam with the addict brush. It's rude and ignorant.

Typical AIBU, quite uncomfortable

mamma his life does not revolve around finding his next score.......that's the difference

I think he just hides it well!

No real difference!

superdandy thanks
I wasn't keen on taking diazepam but I was in excruciating pain.
I took the least amount possible.
I should have trotted back to boots and got rid of the excess......I held onto them because I might need them again.......

mamma you don't know my life or his.....back off with the judgy bullshit

Pain can and should be properly treated with medication. there is a huge difference between taking medication for pain (and for sleep problems) and taking it just because you fancy it.

Yes. And as far as I can determine, DH isn't taking it for pain and clearly, nor is the OP, because the tablets are sitting around on the kitchen counter and as OP says, should be still quite plentiful.

mamma you don't know my life or his.....back off with the judgy bullshit

Why are you changing your tune from your first post?

OP needs support, as does her DH.

What's the strength of the diazpam - they come in 2mg, 5mg and 10mg tablets. I am prescribed them for anxiety in 2mg the lowest dose. I do take 4mg if I can't sleep. Haven't read all the thread but I gather there have been some judgemental comments. Trouble is if DH took them you won't have enough for pain relief or you could ask for more from your GP. They are a benzodiazapine and so are addictive but ok so long as you stick to a low dose and don't use every day. Mine were prescribed by a consultant psychiatrist when I had a major depressive episode, that was 5 years ago and I'm "written up" for them at my GP surgery - I'm certainly not addicted.

I had 2mg

You both fucking stupid you for letting an ex drug addictic take your valium for the hell of it and him for taking it in the first place you should've told him no the first time. You can't have a go at him for taking your tablets when you allowed him to he obviously thought you wouldn't have problem with him taking a few more just for the hell of it. Hide your medication from now on instead of waving temperation in front of his face.

If he gets coke then maybe he knows someone who can replace your diazepam this time around? Just explain you need them and he can't have them (assume to counteract the cocaine). Sounds like you might have underlying concerns about frequency of coke use? - and using valium tohelp him sleep on a 'school night'. His body must be suffering 🙁

tatty enough with the judgement.
If you've never taken drugs recreationally or had any experience of what I'm talking about then butt out. I don't need your opinion.

It all seems like a push-me-pull you. You are Ok with drugs - just not his getting addicted. You did not mind him having your pills ("Don't judge") - just not his having too many of them.

All drugs can be addictive, especially for him, so he is just acting normally by his standards, but these seem to be, to some extent, your standards too.

And all the drunk people emerge.....ffs

He has no contacts for drugs in this country

...ignore previous post, hadn't read the whole thread properly (half asleep). Probably shouldn't condone dodgy temazepam swapping/selling down the pub either

Yeah wriggler this shit was normal when I was 18 from friends......I'm middle aged now. Reading the whole thread takes too much time.😂

Don't worry about the judgey comments OP. No one is perfect and people just have different standards. Many people would nev r touch drugs or alcohol and are completely fucked up in many other ways. Me and my OH have a little stock of various benzos, we use them for sleep when we are exhausted and can't sleep due to shift work or sleep deprivation due to children. Usually around once every week or two. We are HCPs and 'get' prescription drugs so it is pretty safe as far as we see it. Some perfect mumsnetters may disagree! We are also sort of drinkers I guess, we have at least one or two drinks every night, more for a night out or bigger night in. We are professional, on top of things, and very happy. No issues.

I would be angry with my DH in this situation. He needs to be in control and above all honest. You shouldn't leave the pills out on the counter though, put them somewhere safe and secure ( regardless of concerns about him taking them or not).

acquiescence thank you

Oops acquiescence

op you're welcome.
Just read through properly and I'm shocked at the ignorance and nastiness of some of the posters on here tonight! Ignore them.

I'm off back to sleep. Possibly this was.all a dream 😴 Good luck talking to your DH, sure you will find the best way to approach it.

There's some pious fuckers on here tonight.

Op I hope you get to the bottom of it.

Ps: my brother is an alcoholic. His wife drinks wine. She still brings it into the house as wine isn't his tipple....

I'm guessing for one night only your dh fancied a glug of wine. You were OK with it, til he drank it & didn't leave you enough for a spritzer (analogy obv)

Hope he tells you the truth so you can both move on.

OP I know this thread has been harsh and hard to hear but I do think you need to admit to yourself your husband is an addict. Look at the facts. He required an ultimatum to give up coke. He took 2 Valium for the craic (who does that?) 16 Valium have since gone missing in the space of a week (you now claim its 9 but your OP says differently) and your husband is lying to you about it, which you know. If those actions aren't the actions of an addict I don't know what is. You are in denial if you refuse to see that. And your husband is using drugs again.