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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really angry with DH

168 replies

Motherslittlehinderance22 · 20/03/2017 21:05

NC. Bit of history. My DH and myself are "drinkers" and have over the years used drugs recreationally. We appear as nice middle class family.
A few years ago my DH developed a bit of a coke habit. I took it sometimes too but could take it or leave it. I gave him an ultimatum (his family or the drug) when I could see him getting out of control and he quit.
Fast forward 10!years and I have health issues that are preventing me from working. I was prescribed Valium for pain, (28 pills in total) which I stopped taking a few weeks ago but still had about 22 pills left.
I told DH I was taking one last week to help me sleep.....he decided to take a couple just for the hell of it. No big deal. Don't judge.
I left the open packets on the kitchen counter.
I just caught sight of them tonight and noticed they were looking a bit empty.......there are 3 pills left.
I'm furious with him for taking MY medication for starters and for being irresponsible taking a highly addictive drug without telling me, given his previous issues.
I really don't know how to approach this with him. I want to go ballistic at him but don't think this is the right approach as he'll just get defensive.
Any ideas?

OP posts:
wherethewildthingis · 20/03/2017 22:23

OP , you could in fact be sentenced to up to fourteen years in prison

FlappinSwazy · 20/03/2017 22:23

What is she supposed to do, hide them under lock and key?

Yes.

That's what you do if you live with someone with a substance misuse issue.

TattyCat · 20/03/2017 22:24

What is she supposed to do, hide them under lock and key?

Er... yes, if they are both susceptible to addiction (whether alcohol or otherwise).

What a load of tosh.

FlappinSwazy · 20/03/2017 22:24

And you don't bloody go advertising the fact you are taking them to help you sleep rather than for the reason they were prescribed (pain). I mean, you don't go advertising the fact you are taking them at all...

NavyandWhite · 20/03/2017 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlappinSwazy · 20/03/2017 22:25

Actually surprised the GP prescribed them TBH.

TattyCat · 20/03/2017 22:27

Actually surprised the GP prescribed them TBH.

I'm not. You'd be surprised, maybe. We have idiots in all professions.

CrochetBelle · 20/03/2017 22:27

FFS it's people like you and you 'darling' husband who make things harder on those who actually need medication.

FlappinSwazy · 20/03/2017 22:29

Tatty Or the GP is totally unaware about the coke habit and drinking?

TattyCat · 20/03/2017 22:30

Surely if you no longer 'need'' the medication (as you stated you'd only taken around half a dozen and were using them for sleep and not their intended purpose) then you'd take them to the chemist for disposal?

Thought not. Fuckwits.

feedingducks · 20/03/2017 22:30

If he wanted to get high enough he would always find a way to do so. Why is everything the OP's responsibility? . Fail to lock up your medication and be accused of dealing and being responsible for another ADULT abusing them. The OP has children, she doesn't need another. The meds should be away from the kids but no way could I be responsible for who is meant to be my partner. So no OP, YANBU to be angry at him but they should have been out of sight for the sake of the kids. He isn't a child.

TheCuntess · 20/03/2017 22:32

Crochet how utterly ridiculous.

Just because someone abuses a particular medication doesn't be mean that a GP won't prescribe it to the next patient if they needed it. Hmm

TattyCat · 20/03/2017 22:32

Or the GP is totally unaware about the coke habit and drinking?

Absolutely. But the OP knows so unless it's completely beyond her wit then she holds as much responsibility as her 'DH'.

ymmv · 20/03/2017 22:32

You just need to ask him if he found them a bit too tempting after the first go and then that you're uncomfortable with that given previous but also as it's your prescribed medication.
Surely? All very reasonable. He'll probably be pleased that you're removing the option - if he's not relieved or denies taking them then you get to work up to ballistic.

exAddictsWife · 20/03/2017 22:33

*Yes.

That's what you do if you live with someone with a substance misuse issue.*

Agree. My DH is incredibly strong but why make it harder for him?

We had guests for Xmas. One likes a bit of weed and wanted to go in the garden to smoke. She didn't realise DH no longer partook and was shocked when he said "no I don't touch that anymore, do I wife?" It was right under his nose. However, he's got me to support him. To go clean is a life long thing. It's not oh I'm clean and I'm oblivious to all drugs now. It's just not like that!

MadMags · 20/03/2017 22:35

I'm guessing there are children.

Classy, OP. Real classy.

FlappinSwazy · 20/03/2017 22:36

exAddictsWife I just wanted to say that your DH sounds amazing, brave, courageous AND strong.

Goldfishjane · 20/03/2017 22:37

Flapping., sorry I meant hard to get from gp!

feedingducks · 20/03/2017 22:38

Ex I get it. But turning down a joint is different to taking someone's prescribed drugs without their consent. Even though it's an achievement. I guess it comes down to how much you are prepared to support someone with substance misuse issues. I respect your strength in helping your husband. It is not what I could ever do because I feel I have enough responsibility dealing with my children. I suppose I see it through an outsider's lens.

DesertSky · 20/03/2017 22:39

Without being judgemental, if it were your husband who left the packet out then I would be having a serious word about leaving strong drugs laying around on surfaces where children can access them. I don't care two hoots if he wants to get high or whatever, I'm more concerned that vulnerable kids could've taken them. Please put them away out of reach and make sure it as definitely your husband who took them and not the children.

Original poster
Motherslittlehinderance22 · 20/03/2017 22:46

spreadyourhappiness
Yeah I was looking for support not judgement.
He was not a "former drug addict." It was nipped in the bud. Sorry if I was not clear on that.
Also he took them at the weekend.... not a school night....

We have an adult son who lives with us who is a teetotaller.
Hardly surprising with the example his parents have set him.

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 20/03/2017 22:48

Drug taking isn't something done on a school night
You have children and you have both done coke at times. Shock

I thought I was bad with an odd spliff at the weekend when dc were away.

Original poster
Motherslittlehinderance22 · 20/03/2017 22:50

He took 2 x 2mg just to clarify you bunch of presumptions gits.

OP posts:
LovingLola · 20/03/2017 22:50

Has he become addicted to the Valium? It can happen in a very short space of time. Have you asked him?

exAddictsWife · 20/03/2017 22:50

exAddictsWife I just wanted to say that your DH sounds amazing, brave, courageous AND strong.

Thank you. I think so too. Even though he has little setbacks in his behaviour (that shit does affect your brain long term, if not permanently) to do what he's done and never faltered once (and I'm not talking an occasional drug user here) And he's going for counselling for the little setbacks. He wants to leave it all behind. He's the best Smile