To be really angry with DH

[Motherslittlehinderance22]

NC. Bit of history. My DH and myself are "drinkers" and have over the years used drugs recreationally. We appear as nice middle class family.
A few years ago my DH developed a bit of a coke habit. I took it sometimes too but could take it or leave it. I gave him an ultimatum (his family or the drug) when I could see him getting out of control and he quit.
Fast forward 10!years and I have health issues that are preventing me from working. I was prescribed Valium for pain, (28 pills in total) which I stopped taking a few weeks ago but still had about 22 pills left.
I told DH I was taking one last week to help me sleep.....he decided to take a couple just for the hell of it. No big deal. Don't judge.
I left the open packets on the kitchen counter.
I just caught sight of them tonight and noticed they were looking a bit empty.......there are 3 pills left.
I'm furious with him for taking MY medication for starters and for being irresponsible taking a highly addictive drug without telling me, given his previous issues.
I really don't know how to approach this with him. I want to go ballistic at him but don't think this is the right approach as he'll just get defensive.
Any ideas?

But you said that all bar 3 pills are gone? So you had about 22 left, you took one, he took two. That leaves 19. 3 left now - so did he take the 16?

Flappin I went to see my gp, struggling to breathe. Pain on breathing in and out. He prescribed me diazepam and naproxen and said I was having a panic attack. Took them when I got home and they didn't help at all. So didn't take them again.

It kept happening over the course of a month. Pain on breathing in, struggling to get a deep breath. Went back, different Gp said it was inflammation in the muscle at my ribs. Prescribed more naproxen and diazepam. Told him I still had some as had only taken one dose. He gave me the prescription 'just incase'. I didn't get it.

Went back the third time, this time really ill with a sky high temperature, coughing stuff up, pain in breathing in, etc. New junior doctor, really took his time checking me over, decided I had a lung infection and prescribed antibiotics and inhaler. Had a improved by a fair amount the next day. Crazy how easily they prescribe highly addictive meds you just don't need.

So op, be careful this hasn't developed into an addiction. He could likely easily get his own prescription.

I also fail to believe a previous coke addict had never heard of Valium or diazepam. Pretty sure most people know how addictive they are.

So who took the rest of the pills then?

Ok, we have no young children at home.
When we took recreational drugs the kids were never around.
I was aware Coke was BECOMING a problem and gave DH an ultimatum before it DID become a problem.
The period of Coke usage was about 6 months.
He has no contacts nowadays to get drugs.
The gp prescribed me Valium for pain. I have no addiction issues.
I wasn't aware you had to get clearance to make sure you had no one else in the household who might fancy trying a few of your meds.

But he is an recovering addict as far as I can see! He took your drugs for the effect, clearly liked it, and carried on. It doesn't matter what night it was or what class he is!! It's the action of someone who still has the cravings for a high. It wasn't just a one off for curiosity (which isn't normal anyway).

Yes, that was supposed to say "...because it wasn't a school night."

Just so you know, that doesn't make it any better.

You said he had a coke habit. That makes him a former drug addict, although by the sounds of it, less of the 'former'.

Considering you have children, you really should be ashamed of your lackadaisical attitude to drugs. Your son is probably a teetotaller due to his parents being so free when it comes to harmful and addictive substances.

So where did the other 16 pills go? The ones that you are furious about him taking? You know, the highly addictive ones, given his previous issues??

So op, be careful this hasn't developed into an addiction. He could likely easily get his own prescription.

FFS. Am I the only one aware of how the NHS is struggling to pay for legitimate treatment and medications, without people taking the piss?

I can't believe I'm reading this shit.

People need to see things through different eyes. People can have an addictive personality or bordering on it. This makes temptation really hard. It can manifest itself with alcohol , betting , drugs , social media use and food for example. It's pointless berating someone for their makeup , supporting and showing empathy would be more useful.
I think it's amazing to step away from drugs for so long as the pull must be huge. It's a blip that can be stopped. I'd see it at that. Like you said you change what you do if you ever need anything in the future.

loving no there are 9 unaccounted for. He is denying he's taken them. He's blaming our teetotal son or that I forgot I'd taken them.
I'm gutted. This could be the straw that broke the camels back.
I know I'm being lied to.
I don't have a massive issue with him self medicating as I do the same to a degree.......I just have a massive issue about being lied to.

The gp prescribed me Valium for pain. I have no addiction issues.

Except you're using them as sleeping tablets? Ok then...

Waste of valuable resources. Try counting sheep, it's cheaper.

at the roasting you are getting for this?!!
Tell him that you know that he took them, OP, that you are disappointed and would rather he didn't do it again. Then go from there...

tatty you have no idea why I needed to take a pill to sleep on one occasion. Please don't judge.

I don't recall you saying why your DH took any at all? You say you don't have any issue with 'self medicating', but for what is he self medicating, exactly? And if so, why can't he get his own prescription?

Ex I get it. But turning down a joint is different to taking someone's prescribed drugs without their consent. Even though it's an achievement. I guess it comes down to how much you are prepared to support someone with substance misuse issues. I respect your strength in helping your husband. It is not what I could ever do because I feel I have enough responsibility dealing with my children. I suppose I see it through an outsider's lens.

Completely understand. . It's just us two. But I really don't think he will ever go back. He's loving lucid life, although struggles looking back now and questions why, he's on the straight and narrow and is really quite boring. He reckons he loves being boring, staying in. He's had enough of that life.

All kinds of messed up

Sorry...cross posted. That's not good... sorry OP.

mildred thank you
Unfortunately he's denying taking the amount he obviously has.
Pffffft. Got too much other hair going on to deal with this.
He says to just flush the rest of them......pffft.....small consolation.

tatty self medicating is when you have issues/problems but don't get treatment and "self medicate"

I nearly spat my tea out when I read the "junkie" comment. Yeah he's just like Renton in trainspotting.........🙄

Just how deeply in denial are you?

Tatty wtf are you talking about. The NHS struggling is fuck all to do with this thread. Yes everyone's aware. I wasn't blooming condoning him getting a prescription ffs!

mamma his life does not revolve around finding his next score.......that's the difference

empty you can barely type.....how much booze you had?