To wonder if blended families ever really work?

[Safaribaby]

I'm not knocking anyone. When I met dh I already had a baby, I was a single parent and we were n/c with his father so we sort of just slotted together and made our own family.

We've since had another baby with dh. Ours is a relatively straightforward situation in that we are all living in the same house with no other adults or children involved. Dh has been in our lives since ds was a baby so it's all we've ever known.

Whenever I read stuff on here though I always wonder how on earth things can ever be fair on the children involved when they're all living in different homes.

So many times there are situations where the stepmum is jealous of her new husbands relationship with his existing children. Or resents him paying maintenance. Even where she wants him to see them less often so he's got more time for her, their children together.

Lots of arguments over who should pay for what, whether non blood relatives should treat step children the same.

Holidays, sleeping arrangements, inheritance, different styles of parenting, differing finances, distance between families all seem to cause problems.

Seems like so many people want a new relationship and their own family, without any of the responsibility for existing children.

I already feel sorry for my eldest because he's dhs step child. Even though dh has been around since he was a baby. I can't imagine how horrible it would be if he was packed off to his bio dad once a fortnight, separated from his sibling, a stepmum who resented his existence, moaning that I should be paying for his holidays or school shoes rather than taking from his dad. Knowing that any half siblings had a more settled arrangement.

I know it seems extreme but sometimes I think people should just stick to one lot of children. It just seems like when people meet new partners any existing children get relegated.

[feedingducks]

Love