To think 41 is v v young for a granny??

[TinfoilHattie]

I'm 44. Recently I have been back in touch with some people I was at school with on Facebook - haven't seen these people for over 20 years, nearer 25 probably. I'm quite surprised at the number who are already grandparents - I saw a picture of a toddler on one of their FB pages, assumed it was their child but no, a grandchild having their third birthday. Granny is the same age as me.

My mum was 27 when she had me and became a grandparent at 58. My inlaws were the same age. My eldest is 14 and I am not expecting to be a granny much before I'm 60, so that's my "normal". Cannot imagine being a granny by 41 and may be a bit unreasonable thinking it's nothing to aspire to?

My auntie became a mum at 16, her daughter became a mum at 18. My auntie was a 34 year old granny!

I didn't become a mum until I was 29 so no chance of that for me!

Yes, 41 is quite young to become a granny. But not remarkable. My mother was 63 before she became a granny, so quite old by some standards. . What's the oldest and the youngest that one could possibly imagine? Much younger and much olderI suppose.. Maybe 25 and 92?
My sis in law just popped one out at 48. He is newborn and his gran is 90. However, my cousin who had a child at 15 is now a grandma in her late thirties. It's just how stuff happens.

Just a thought. Mumsnet has thousands of posters.

littlefrog why do you keep equating having children young with being on benefits? They don't always go together, you know.

I'd rather be a young grandmother than a judgemental one. Jesus. I've heard it all on this thread. I'd like to point out that I have paid NI my whole adult life, my DH earns £75k+ a year so pays enough tax for both of us and am hugely proud of having kids in my early 20s. My grandchildren love having an active nan that takes them for long walks, to the park to play with a ball and isn't sat with a blanket on her lap in a fecking rocking chair dribbling!! Honestly.

Little frog, If your children did have a baby young (for whatever reason) you would feel protective over them as young mums are unfairly judged all the time. Even by HCPs. There's an unfair stigma. I'm friends with lots of young mums and none of them are on benefits?
I'm not a 'chav' I earn good money in a well respected job and I have a four month old DD, my mother is not ashamed of me or my DD because how could anyone be ashamed of a beautiful baby?! It makes me sad and I hope you don't have kids who would feel ashamed of themselves for having kids.

I could understand the angst if you were talking about a 30 year old granny but 41?

So two women had babies in their late teens or early twenties.

Its hardly Sodom and Gomorrah is it?

I wouldn't be feeling all sad and head tilty about a woman having a child at the age of 20.

Oh fgs no one can have an opinion on anything any more. I was a teen mum (albeit married) and I have managed to read the thread without collapsing in a fit of distress. Generally speaking statistically children born to teen parents are more likely to suffer from poverty, lower academic attainments and are more likely to go on to have children in their teens. It's great to see that all MN's who had babies in their teens have defied these stats

But but but MrsDV

What about the travelling?

We aren't talking about teens though are we? Or if we are older teens who are adults!

my dad was 37 when I had my first son and 40 when I had my 2nd. my mum was 40 and 43.

my sister had her first at 27 which I thought was old having had mine young - even more to the point my dad was expecting the same year I had my daughter 6 (nearly 7) yrs ago. so I have a just turned 7yr old sister 6mths older than my dd, my dad was 45.

that said, I wished id stay in education and had my children older. my parents aint much involved in mine or my dcs lives so they age they were means nothing to them.

Cannot imagine being a granny by 41 and may be a bit unreason's not much about your life to aspire to either

My mum had me at 16 rather than give me up for adoption. I had my eldest child at the age of 19 with my husband and we were married for 37 years before we separated.

Four of my children are in fabulous careers ranging from a Pilot flying very very big aeroplanes to a special ed teacher with a distinction her masters. My youngest son in severely disabled.

You should be so lucky.

How embarrassing. I'm 63 and still not a grandmother. Our only child is 26. Maybe I went wrong somewhere.

I'm a relatively young mum, had my first DD at 22 but as my parents and DHs parents were older when they had us they were in their 50s when they became GPs. If my DD has a baby at 22 or younger I guess I'll be a young granny! My grandparents were in their 70s when I was born and they are all gone now (in fact my DFs dad died long before I was born) which is sad as I don't remember them very well. I'm thrilled my DCs have GPs who are fit enough to play and interact with them and hopefully they'll be around for a long time yet!

Oh and forgot to add. My step dad who is the most wonderful dad in the world and the only dad I will ever want, the only granddad my children will ever want, and the only great grandad my grandchildren will ever want was a step grandad at 27.

Now put that in your pipe and smoke it.

JaneEyre: "My grandchildren love having an active nan that takes them for long walks, to the park to play with a ball and isn't sat with a blanket on her lap in a fecking rocking chair dribbling!! Honestly." is horrible, vile ageism.

Funny how respect only goes one way

@scanbran I guess I am getting my knickers in a twist tbh. It just makes me angry because all these stereotypes are ones I've had people ask me about all the time when they find out I'm only 20. It's not much of a big deal as I look older but if I didn't I'd feel embarrassed to go out with my DD? I don't think that's fair and I think that people on this thread should realise the damage they're doing.

My DM had me at 21 and I had DS at 22. She was 43 when DS was born. My step dad is 4 years younger than her, so he became a Grandad at 39.

Dunno why people always go on about travelling the world. Not everyone actually wants to do that. Everyone has different priorities in life, let people live how they want.

I have a better job now than I did before I had DS. My DM and stepdad are very comfortably off.

My mum was 44 when she became a grandmother for the first time and DGD number two came along a couple of months later

It would appear that many are of the opinion that going to uni, travelling the world, getting on the career ladder and having your child later makes you a wiser or superior person. Whereas having a child young, makes you some kind of chav person who perpetuates the cycle of poverty, claims benefit and should have known better??

Does the former make you a better mother / father? Does it bollocks I work with families and the neglected and fucked up children in front of me come from all walks of life with parents and grandparents of all ages.

I was a granny at 46. I now have 6 of the little angels with two born just months apart. Its fabulous.

"sat with a blanket on her lap in a fecking rocking chair dribbling" Because people in their sixties do this?

There's lots of people here passionately defending being young parents and grandparents but describing people who are still working age in these terms is plain rude.

I never understand the sneering towards young mums who "defied the stereotypes". I always see threads on here making snarky comments like they don't believe it?

Sorry, aren't we supposed to defy the stereotypes? Or are we supposed to get pregnant and stay at home and claim benefits and do nothing with our lives because then you can tell yourself that your superior children will never get pregnant young, because they're a class above?

I fell into the trap of thinking I was a class above young parents, because I was ambitious and I had prospects.

Turns out ambitions aren't a valid form of contraception who'da thunk it?

armpitz yeah cos we were all able to travel in our teens and early twenties

Honestly MN is hilarious sometimes.