To think 41 is v v young for a granny??

[TinfoilHattie]

I'm 44. Recently I have been back in touch with some people I was at school with on Facebook - haven't seen these people for over 20 years, nearer 25 probably. I'm quite surprised at the number who are already grandparents - I saw a picture of a toddler on one of their FB pages, assumed it was their child but no, a grandchild having their third birthday. Granny is the same age as me.

My mum was 27 when she had me and became a grandparent at 58. My inlaws were the same age. My eldest is 14 and I am not expecting to be a granny much before I'm 60, so that's my "normal". Cannot imagine being a granny by 41 and may be a bit unreasonable thinking it's nothing to aspire to?

That wasn't for you Arm

Oh and I did travel. To a new life and culture thousands of miles away from my hometown when I was 18.

My mum was 40 too. We both had DC late teens/early 20s.

My 91 year old nan had my mum when she was 17. My mum had her first child when she was about 21 and me when she was 29. I had my son when I was 27.

As a result of my nan having my mum so young she has been able to enjoy so much of her daughter's life, her grandaughters lives and now her 3 great grandsons lives.

So why would you say becoming a gran in your 30's isn't something you'd be proud of? Do you think being a mum isn't as important as having a career?

I didn't have a career, I had jobs before I had my son. All average paid, some I liked, some I didn't like. I was never a leader or a manager, but happy with what I did. I can say that becoming a mother to a premature baby who has a lifelong disability has been the hardest thing I've ever done. And also the best thing I've ever done. The only thing I regret is that I didn't have him younger.

Women chose to have kids at different ages. Why are we judging? Personally I'm glad I wasn't older when I had DS, like I say I wish I'd been younger so I had a better chance of being around in his life for longer.

Bringing up children is a really important job which most of us do unpaid. At a recent demo I was on, someone was wearing a placard that said "Grandmas don't retire, we just tire" How true is that!

You have to accept that not every woman is going to be a career woman, but if you chose to raise kids from an early age who in turn chose to have kids at an early age that doesn't make our work any less than someone that has a high powered paid job.

Turns out ambitions aren't a valid form of contraception So that's where i went wrong.

OK, Serious now. 41 is only marginally unusual to be a granny.
It's well within the age norm. I sincerely hope that the people who are having children so young are not relying on government benefits to support their life choices. Because that's so unfair to young men and women who work hard to support their family without leeching off the taxpayers.

Have kids as young as you like. But only if you can pay for their upkeep.

God I'm older than that and my kids still in primary school. In fact all the women in this generation of my family were over 35 when they had their first. And thank God otherwise my parents would still be working and I wouldn't have free childcare. Am sort of joking not really. On a serious note though I do rely on them although not so much these days (am a LP). I know other younger LP's who really struggle as their parents all still work f/t. I guess there are pros and cons either way but I think older gp's generally have more free time to spend with grandkids and my parents generation could actually afford to retire in their 60's so still young and fit, in fact ds and I were out cycling with my 71 year old dad today. He's most certainly not sat dribbling

I have a friend who was born when her mum was 17 and she had her oldest at 17 so her mum was a nan at 34. She has sisters who are younger than her oldest daughters. My dad became a grandad at 56 and my mum was 46, although she was a step grandparent and my mum was 48 when her first biological grandchild was born. They both had their respective oldest children at 22 but my dad's oldest had her first in her mid 30s whereas my mums had hers in her early 20s.
I had dd at 23, so I could go either way depending how old dd is when she has kids (if she decides to).

My mum had me at 22, I had my son at 22, so she was a grandmother at 44. Fairly normal round my way. I know of a 45 year old great grandma. She had her daughter at 14, her daughter had a little girl when she was 15 and now the 15 yo granddaughter is due to give birth!

I was 18 when I had DD.

My mum was 40 when I had DD.

DD is now 20 and has just got pregnant, I'll be a 38 YO grandma, but I will not be called that!!!
They can call me the same as my friends young kids do, a pet name if you want.

At 40 I will have a 21yo and an 18yo.

I had my first age 19, took 6 minths maternity and went straight back to my job and studying at nightschool, I got my AAT and CIMA qualifications and have been with the same firm all this time. Hate how 'young mum = benefits'.

I am toying with the idea of another in my ealey 40s.

I have a few friends that became Nanna at 39/40/41 and it still shocks me.

I'm 41 now and my oldest will be 21 next month and there's still no way I'll be becoming a Grandparent for a long while yet.

All of our 5DC have said they want to concentrate on school/college/uni and then work and travelling before they have children and I'm really relieved so is my DH.

It's an easy mistake to make Sparkly

Well your friend is very lucky to be a Granny at 41.
I'm 65 have 4 Ds's the oldest is 35 the youngest 29, they all have long term partners.
I am the only one of my friends to not be a grandmother, in fact one of my friends became a great grandmother aged 64.

S'not fair!!!

I didn't rtft before posting. What's the thing against young mums? I'm 26 now, expecting DC3, in a loving marriage with the man I've been with since I was 20, in our own home (looking to upsize soon), claiming no benefits, running my own very successful business. I'd have more kids if I could get my way but as it is I'll be 42 when youngest is 16 and me and DH will still be young enough to have some fun and travel the world if we want to (although since we're not on benefits and both have good jobs we'll probably do a bit of that when the kids are young anyway! )

Is part of the issue with young parents not getting further/higher education, the fact that we place so much emphasis on "focusing on education rather than having children", instead of looking into how we can better support and encourage them to manage both?

It means that when late teens/young adults find themselves pregnant, they think it's the end, full stop, their only option is to maybe go back and retrain a few years down the line. When I announced my pregnancy, everyone kept asking me "When will you drop out?". It wasn't "Will you?", it was "When?".

I don't really see what's wrong with it. My mum was 42 when I had my daughter. She would of been much younger as well if I hadn't miscarried at 19.
I don't see anything wrong with it.

What a weird post Vermillion

Should have said I wasn't on benefits neither and I worked.

That's not the reason I don't want my DC to become parents at a young age,I loved being a Mum and I still do but I know that I did miss out on alot of things I could have done alot easier if I hadn't had a child at 20 and I really don't want my DC as young adults to miss out or find doing things for themselves harder because they've become a younger parent like I was.

A problem with being a granny at 40 is the you're more likely to be in full time work than if you're older. So you might have more energy but it's spent at work! Although the implication seems to be that if you're a granny at that age you are part of a jobless underclass so maybe you've got plenty of spare time. Although that may be a bit of a generalisation...
I spent my 20s travelling, boozing and having fun. Would have hated a baby then. But I absolutely think horses for courses

What a weird post Vermillion confused

I think it was deliberately so.

GinandSonic, that situation is a perfect example of generations of stupidity, lack of aspiration and contraception!

My mum was a gran and a parent to a primary age child at 40. Some of the girls i went to school with are grans some twice over we are 45/6 some of the girls Dd went to school with have kids going to school this year they are 23/24 so I could be a gran at my age.

Not yours, but your friend's that is!

I had my eldest dd at 26 and she has recently had her first baby at 26 as well so I'm a 52 year old granny and still feel too young! In an unrelated coincidence, my mother, grandmother and sister all had their first children aged 26 too, which is a bit spooky