To think 41 is v v young for a granny??

[TinfoilHattie]

I'm 44. Recently I have been back in touch with some people I was at school with on Facebook - haven't seen these people for over 20 years, nearer 25 probably. I'm quite surprised at the number who are already grandparents - I saw a picture of a toddler on one of their FB pages, assumed it was their child but no, a grandchild having their third birthday. Granny is the same age as me.

My mum was 27 when she had me and became a grandparent at 58. My inlaws were the same age. My eldest is 14 and I am not expecting to be a granny much before I'm 60, so that's my "normal". Cannot imagine being a granny by 41 and may be a bit unreasonable thinking it's nothing to aspire to?

I've seen grannies in their 30's so it's not that young. If you consider Mum has daughter when she's 16, daughter has a child when she's 16, who has a child again when 16, you've got a 48 year old great grandmother. I'm sure that does happen.

Unfortunately it does

I think the reason Littlefrog had a 'hard time's was because she was rude, aggressive and condescending. Lots of people have made similar points without being quite so irritating with it. If her argument had more depth people might engage more.

NRFT yet but you know all those people saying people had children earlier in the old days-I'm not sure that's true. In my grandparents young days I think it was normal for people to save for a long time to get married and start a home together, and it could often take quite a few years to do this. Also, the advent of two world wars delayed many people's childbearing. Both my Nan's were over 30 when they had their first child.
Anyhoo. I know a couple of grandparents in their early 40's. I know one who has a grandchild a little younger than her youngest child. Where I grew up, it is the norm the start childbearing around 20, so lots of young grandparents.

As I said my Mum was 40 when she became a Gran and there was nothing unfortunate about it

Why does it matter? If you can provide a stable and loving home, you can be a mum in your teens or even 50s.

While I agree that some young people, mainly women, will may have reduced economic opportunities because they have had babies very young it clearly isn't the whole picture.

I have gave a few examples of successful friends who, although they had children very young , have gone on to have great careers. The thing that they all have in common is their backgrounds and family support. They have come from parents or a parent who has a good work ethic and have had good family support to help raise the child etiher with their partner or through their parents and siblings.

While I was thinking about my friends stories to give examples I forgot about my own sister. She had a child when she was 16. She managed to get on a government funded training programme Mum and dad were absolutely horrified but once the dust settled loved nephew to bits. My sister was taken on full time by the company that took her on as a government trainee ( it was something like a YTS scheme) She is still with that company although I beleive it has been taken over twice. She has been promoted so many times and has done well for herself. Better than me who didn't have a child until I was 30!! Over the years, with some financial help from mum and dad she was able to buy a house in the same street as parents. Then the housing boom came and sister made a decent amount of money on her house. She is now 50. Her son has a great career and is a lovely man.

For balance I work with teenagers and have donemso for nearly 30 years. I have seen so many get pregnant and not finished their education and many have followed the same path as their parents, which isn't necessary a good route to have chosen. We have seen the children of parents we used to have in our system and when familiar family names come up with new referrals to us the same comment is usually said ' and so the cycle continues'

I'm not sure what my point is, probably it can depend on your background and early experiences as to how your future will lie no matter what obstacles you may face.

I think there is a lot of confusion between cause and effect on this thread.

I work with a nurse who is 39 and becoming a Nana in May. Her daughter is 16.

I'm 32 and I'm having my first child in May!!!!

I don't think it matters. You deal the best with the cards life throws at you and a good parent will be a good parent at 16 or 40 or a crap parent at 26 or 37.

Just realised my DH's sister was a granny before he was a dad!!

My sister is a nanny and she's 37! She was 36 her GD was born.

Notgivingin879 I read your name as not givin gin 😂 Maybe I need to stay off the gin 😉😁

Ha Chinch ! It's my fault, I need to make my username much clearer.

To be fair I wouldn't give gin either 😂 I'd keep it! 😁

"Just realised my DH's sister was a granny before he was a dad!!"

Same in our case as well.

Love these teen mum bashing threads, I had my son at 17 making my mum a grandma at 43. I bought a house at 19 and worked my ass off. My DS is in the army, very career focused. I was diagnosed with cancer at an age some people would now say is a common age for a first time mum and treatment has left me infertile so I'm so glad I had my son when I did. I've never claimed benefits. I just aspire to pay my and my family's own way in life, be happy and be able to look myself in the mirror at the end of the day and know I haven't had to tear someone else down to make myself feel good/above others.

I think this is quite nice, my nan was very old when I was born, never saw her without her "stick" and was very old school too. I had my eldest child at 20 which at the time was young but it really made me grow up, before that I had a terrible time, lots of drugs, alcohol, prison etc. And now I've totally turned it around, I'm at uni in my last year of my degree, I work, I have a nice car and have holidays etc. I wouldn't mind being a granny at 40, it would mean my eldest would have a baby the same time as I did.

Younger in my case was for the better. Also my mother became a granny young and she has no difficulties with anything! Always on the go in the park and loves to go bonkers with them. I think they would prefer a young granny compared to what I had (love her dearly and God rest her soul) but would have been nice to have had her around a bit more. Also there's something very very special about a great grandchild I think.... Totally in support of younger families :)

I was 18 when I had my first.
My Mum was 42 when he was born.

My son is now 5 and I have two younger sisters who are 8 and 10.

Husbands Mum is only one year older than my mum so she was 43.

I went on a lot of holidays with my grandparents growing up and we did a lot of activities. So I'm glad they were young enough! I'm nearly 24 and my Nanny is 68 (I think).

I disagree that it depends on how old you are when you have your first child. My mum had my brother at 16, didn't have a grandchild until she was 59!

HoldBackTheRain

When I am 40 I will have a 22 year old. What has amazed me about this thread is the amount of mid-teens who had babies but are now property owners, successful careers etc. I would like to know a bit more about that.

Many of my school friends are just having children now (mid 30's) and what sets us apart is that they have had years to save for deposits and mostly own nice houses. Although my husband had a good job when we had dc1 (he was 8 years my senior) we were never really in a position to save for a house and have always been renters. I was able to go to university but obviously then I was incurring expense rather than earning. Any extra money we had went on a holiday and into a savings account for dc. We do live in an expensive part of the country though, but still I am amazed that teens are able to buy houses.

I inherited a lot of money and bought my house However I'd rather have my Dad back and be skint. I resent all the teenage Mum bashing on here, just because someone being judgemental has read a study. How many people was that study based on?
As usual stereotyping and assumption are rife on here

In fairness Portia I remember a thread on older mums who were equally bashed. It really doesn't matter, as long as you are happy with your choices. Sorry about your dad