To think 41 is v v young for a granny??

[TinfoilHattie]

I'm 44. Recently I have been back in touch with some people I was at school with on Facebook - haven't seen these people for over 20 years, nearer 25 probably. I'm quite surprised at the number who are already grandparents - I saw a picture of a toddler on one of their FB pages, assumed it was their child but no, a grandchild having their third birthday. Granny is the same age as me.

My mum was 27 when she had me and became a grandparent at 58. My inlaws were the same age. My eldest is 14 and I am not expecting to be a granny much before I'm 60, so that's my "normal". Cannot imagine being a granny by 41 and may be a bit unreasonable thinking it's nothing to aspire to?

You couldn't make this shit up!

Hang on, I thought we WERE making all this shit up?

Or do you believe us now?

Teenage mothers are more likely to live in poverty
in general their health is poorer
outcomes for their children aren't as good
I cam find refs tomorrow. This is all an argument to support teenage mothers btw and trying to ensure teenage girls have choice.
The teenage pregnancy rate has been falling since 1998 and is now half what it was. Ideally no woman, teenager or not, should have a baby unless they actively choose to imo (ideally pre pregnancy but also in pregnancy, u recognise unplanned very much does not mean unwanted)

littlefrog I was a teen mum who did manage to get a degree by the age of 22 ( I'm 23 now :) and in no way am I lying about it. Why isn't that believable ? I don't have my own house however, I am a single parent (shock horror). But I think I did ok despite have DS so young and him having SEN.

Everyone life is different. Some people have degrees, some don't, some are making ends meet, some are not, some travel, some don't. One or the other does not make anyone a better parent.

I predict that if I had DS when I was older, I still would of been clueless as to was when I was 15/16. Having him made me mature the fuck up. I had no choice. People were surprised that DS was diagnosed at such a young age ( he was 2/3ish) and suspected that his nursery must of picked up his SEN. They didn't. They couldn't believe that It was me who suspected something . I was just 18 going to the library and researching as much on DS difficulties as possible and out two and two together.

Absolutely gobsmacked at the judgemental twattishness opinions that are different to mine being shown on here.

Corrected that for you sparkly.

You're welcome...

littlefrog, are you saying all of us who disagree are trolling? Or are you just referring to certain posters?

It's true that the outcome for teenage parents is not going to be as good or positive as it will be for someone who has them later (27/28+) And the chances of someone having kids in their teens and then having a high flying professional career, and a university degree etc, are very slim.

Don't you realise that not every woman wants or will have a high flying career or a degree - why are you equating degrees and careers with how 'good' someone's life is? Yes it's great if women want to have careers and kids later if they want. But that doesn't make them, or their lifestyle better than a woman who starts her family in her teens, who doesn't pursue a career. That does come across as judgemental to me.

Why did you figure that Littlefrog? We haven't spoken before I don't think. I had all of my kids in my 30ies, post degree and post-grad. I have no horse in this race, I just think you are sounding like a bit of a twat.

littlefrog opinion def: a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge

You have definitely been sharing your opinion not based on fact or knowledge

You have accused posters of lying. How is that not complete twattishness (or colossal cuntery if you prefer)?

Teenage mothers are more likely to live in poverty - in general their health is poorer - outcomes for their children aren't as good..... I cam find refs tomorrow. This is all an argument to support teenage mothers btw and trying to ensure teenage girls have choice. The teenage pregnancy rate has been falling since 1998 and is now half what it was. Ideally no woman, teenager or not, should have a baby unless they actively choose to imo (ideally pre pregnancy but also in pregnancy, u recognise unplanned very much does not mean unwanted)

Don't waste your breath stealth .. The people on here who call us cunts, judgemental twats, and liars (refusing to believe I had a PM warning me of people baiting,) are too busy trying to convince everyone they have fantastic lives/great careers/super high salaries/villas/private jets etc, despite having kids in their teens; to take any notice of actual facts.

I'm done on this thread. I will leave the trolls and baiters to bully and berate someone else who dares to say something they don't agree with.

Not hugely young... my Dad became a Grandad (And Dad!) age 43. He was 23 when I arrived, and 43 when DB4 arrived, and I was 20 when I had DD 9 and a half months after DB4 arrived

Stealth I see what you mean. There is a lot of judgement on teen mothers as well, not helped by Tony Blair referring to us as workless, like raising kids isn't work!

Have you seen this?

globalwomenstrike.net/content/petition-all-governments-a-living-wage-mothers-and-other-carers

I think if we did have a living wage for mothers and other carers it would mean teens/single mothers wouldn't be judged so harshly and put down so much. And might be seen as just as worthy as women that have high flying careers.

littlefrog I did none of the above, but you've gone without answering my questions to you. Says a lot to me!

Not sure why you have made up your opinion about me Frog. I had my first child at 24 but alas I do not have a degree. Had to give up a good career to be a full time carer. Guess that makes me even lower than a teen mum huh?

Fwiw I'm 28. My mum is 49. I have a an almost 5 year old who was planned. I am married. I have a first degree. I own my own home. I've not missed out on anything and I am very typical of my area. But I am ^northern^ op, which is always the subtext in these posts

I was a teen Mum and had dd when I was 18 my Mum was 40 at the time.

I still don't know why you're accusing me of lying little, I haven't claimed to have a villa or a plane or a maid just a degree and a daughter.

Clearly living in fantasyland, me

I must live in a different world or in a bubble. I am 28 and been ttc for nearly 2 years. Which at the time I started. I was considered "awfully young".

Out of my year of 60 at school 5 people have children. And only 1 from my uni year.

I genuinely don't know anyone in my circles or that I know or probably even met that had a baby at 16. Or even 18 at that.

I would never judge anyone for their age. A good mother is just that regardless.

But this threads made me realise how out the norm I and those around me are.

I do remember though my mother being classed as one of the younger mums at school. She had me at 25. So I really dont think having babies at 16 was common in the 80s.

I do see so many pros to young grand parents though. I loved mine dearly but they died when I was a child as they where older. In their late 6os when I their eldest grandchild was born.

You're not unusual in my circles Londoner, I had my first at 29 and felt quite young. There was one girl i remember from my teens who had a child at 15, but that's about it.

I was 21 when I had my dd so could easily be a younger granny if she had a baby in her early 20s. Not sure about the notion of "aspiring" to be a granny? Surely it's just a natural cycle of life?

My mum had me when she was 33 in the early 80s and was classed as an "older" mum back then.

great-grandparents in their late forties

Good grief!

And "All of them are professionals - accountants, lawyers etc"

Really?! I know many accountants and lawyers and don't know any who are close to becoming great grandparents in their 40s! You must literally live on another planet!!

Let's be honest here, young mums, under 20s I mean, who do well in their jobs, education, lifestyle, etc, only do so because of family support, including partner , and frankly, they are the exception, not the rule. You can see a pattern in the exchanges here, 15 year old having a daughter, who then goes on to have a daughter at 15, and so on, bloody depressing reading as far I am concerned

As long as someone has a brain and drive it doesn't matter when they have children. My mum had us young, went back to college and uni in her 30s and has the best career now in everyone I know. Nevertheless, university really isn't the be all and end all.

To quote this from another poster ...They are your hairdressers, standing for hours at a time, your plumbers, your electricians, your dog groomers (actually mine has a degree!) your nursery nurses, your bus drivers, your care assistants, your cherry Tesco assistants and your call centre workers.

Plumbers and electricians by the way = ££££ my point is there is no straightforward route to life. As long as you work hard and have intelligence it really doesn't matter if you have a baby at 18 or 48, go to uni or not. The thing that holds people back is doing nothing to develop themselves or closing doors on themselves long term- not babies.

I'm now 36 and dd is 18 so be depressed about that.

Does everyone really have the attitude in life that In order to have done well you have to have been to Uni and have a nobby career as a high flyer in something? Really?

The most interesting/knowledgeable people in life full of wisdom are usually those who have lived a life, experienced relationships/been divorced/had loads of shit thrown at them/lived on not much money to get by at times. The down to earth people of this world.

Apparently a 55 yo (when article written) believes they might be youngest great-gran... according to some on here, there are many great-grans in their community of that age who are well on the way to becoming great-great grans!