Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 41 is v v young for a granny??

641 replies

TinfoilHattie · 19/03/2017 18:24

I'm 44. Recently I have been back in touch with some people I was at school with on Facebook - haven't seen these people for over 20 years, nearer 25 probably. I'm quite surprised at the number who are already grandparents - I saw a picture of a toddler on one of their FB pages, assumed it was their child but no, a grandchild having their third birthday. Granny is the same age as me. Confused

My mum was 27 when she had me and became a grandparent at 58. My inlaws were the same age. My eldest is 14 and I am not expecting to be a granny much before I'm 60, so that's my "normal". Cannot imagine being a granny by 41 and may be a bit unreasonable thinking it's nothing to aspire to?

OP posts:
DoingThisRight · 20/03/2017 19:29

Agree littlefrog- it's always the case with this. Think it's just trying to justify poor judgement and life choices.

VanillaSugar · 20/03/2017 19:31

You're obviously mixing with the wrong people littlefrog GrinGrinGrin

Whathaveilost · 20/03/2017 19:31

littlefrog I hear what you are saying.
The women I know that have had children very young and ended up in good jobs have had a lot of support.
One had all four children before she was 23 and had a low paid admin job until they reached their teens. She went to uni, and then specilised initally as a SENCO and then a lecturer at college. She is in her 50s now and flying high with her career.
Another one had 3 children, again first one was when she was a teen mother, she got a job as a care assistant with the local authority and over the years she got in house training, a degree and still works for the authority as a head of service. She had a lot of early support from her mum and dad.

I have a work colleague who has a similar story to my friends.

It really isn't impossible to have a good career even if you have children young.

HoldBackTheRain · 20/03/2017 19:39

DoingThisRight

Agree littlefrog- it's always the case with this. Think it's just trying to justify poor judgement and life choices.

Why do you think having your children young is a poor life choice?! Just because you hold more importance in having a career, that's your choice. It might not be what every woman has. Your demeaning the hard work that motherhood is by saying that.

I'm just amazed at all the judgemental crap on this thread. Being a mother is hard work, and just as important as having a career, just a different job.

HoldBackTheRain · 20/03/2017 19:40

oops you're not your.

Badders123 · 20/03/2017 19:44

I'm 44 and I have school friends who were grandmas when in their 30s

littlefrog3 · 20/03/2017 19:46

Call it judgemental crap if it makes you feel better.

I am personally not judging anyone for having kids in their teens and haven't said anything nasty about them.

The only thing that makes me go Hmm is the amount of posters who started having kids at 16-17, and now have illustrious high-flying professional careers, 6 figure salaries, a private jet, several university degrees, their own staff, travels around the world on business trips, and a villa in the Algarve.

I mean, do they really expect people to believe it?

It just doesn't happen does it? Well, maybe it does, but only on the internet. Wink

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 20/03/2017 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 20/03/2017 19:52

Isn't it good that we meet a wider variety of people online than in real life? :)

littlefrog3 · 20/03/2017 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

justnowords · 20/03/2017 19:56

There is a nasty undercurrent to this thread that runs along the lines of 'if you dont have a degree and a well paid job, then your not in a position to be having children'. As if only the rich and well educated have the right to have children, or are better at it. Which is complete and utter fucking bollocks. Having a degree, travelling all over the world, possessing lots of money is not a prerequisite to having children, or guarantee that you will parent better.

dailyshite · 20/03/2017 19:59

Does anyone except for judgemental arseholes actually care how old someone is when they or their child procreate?

Some people have kids when they are teens (and then go on to university / high flying jobs while others choose to stay at home or work part time for minimum wage) some have kids in their 40s (having had a wide range of life experience).

If you spend more than a fleeting moment thinking about this, you need to fill your time with something constructive. Not everyone has the same values or life experiences - doesn't make one person better than another. Not being an arsehole does make you better than someone who is a colossal cunt though (I am going to use that phrase often from now on - thanks Ovaries!)

littlefrog3 · 20/03/2017 19:59

Gotta laugh at the precious little snowflakes on here getting so morbidly offended at the people who DARE to have a different view to them, by saying they're talking crap, and issuing massive insults.

Says more about them really.

Pathetic.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 20/03/2017 20:04

Nice disablist language there littlefrog

No nerves touched here - I was 19 when I became a mum so I'm allowed my degree. It's only the 16 year olds that have got your knickers in a twist, right? Grin

littlefrog3 · 20/03/2017 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

littlefrog3 · 20/03/2017 20:11

And keep pretending you have a degree. No-one believes you.

StealthPolarBear · 20/03/2017 20:12

Little frog is right, outcomes for teenage parents are generally not good. However of course some are and it may be they are more likely to be on mn.
My gut feeling is I want my dc ro have their children young. While they have loads of energy and so we all get to spend a long time with their children. Plus i found the yoing childten bit very hard and am pleased im not doig it bow.But realistically I know that's not going to be the same for them and being a young grandma is not something to aspire to. Plus ds is ten, the thought of potentially being a grandma in ten years actually does seem soon. It seems like I've only stopped wiping his bum :o

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 20/03/2017 20:14

little

I didn't call you a cunt. I said "I've never met someone in real life who uses #justsaying that isn't a colossal cunt". I haven't met you in real life although considering your latest reply I'm quite relieved.

Look, I'm a cunt but I won't use "t**d" because it's disablist. If you want to, go ahead. I'd much rather associate with sixteen-year-old mums than people who become hysterical when someone challenges their opinions. You need to chill out.

HoldBackTheRain · 20/03/2017 20:17

littlefrog3

It is crap when some posters have said having a child in your teens is a poor lifestyle choice. Nothing to do with being a 'special snowflake'

Although I am guilty of judging people who use the term special snowflake. It makes me embarassed for them.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 20/03/2017 20:18

No-one believes you

Grin Grin Grin

You're so funny.

No-one believes me except the MNers on my Facebook. Unless I staged all of those pictures and the entire graduation ceremony and ordered a fake certificate for my fake First class degree. I bet my one-year-old daughter in those pictures was fake too Grin

witsender · 20/03/2017 20:18

That's funny littlefrog, I don't know a single person in real life who uses "#justsaying" who isn't a colossal cunt.

I have to agree.

littlefrog3 · 20/03/2017 20:19

Little frog is right, outcomes for teenage parents are generally not good. However of course some are and it may be they are more likely to be on mn.

Thank you Stealth. Smile It's true that the outcome for teenage parents is not going to be as good or positive as it will be for someone who has them later (27/28+) And the chances of someone having kids in their teens and then having a high flying professional career, and a university degree etc, are very slim. God forbid you have an opinion that goes against the HHH's on here though!

I have had a PM from another poster who has advised me to ignore the trolls and baiters and just report them, as they feed on the attention they get, because they're bored, and love the trouble and disharmony they cause. Then when they're confronted they back down and make out YOU are the problem

I think I will be doing that from now on. Ignoring and reporting. Wink

littlefrog3 · 20/03/2017 20:20

Yes witsend - I figured you would agree with ovariesbeforebrovaries ' PMSL!!! Grin

You couldn't make this shit up!

HoldBackTheRain · 20/03/2017 20:21

Stealth if you're saying the outcomes for teen mums is generally not good, in what way do you mean? Do you mean career wise? Because having a career doesn't automatically establish your worth, just has being a mum doesn't. It's up to all of us what we do. Have a career, have kids, go into further education, whatever. One is not better than the other.

So depressing to see responses on here that put down motherhood, as if you haven't accomplished anything unless you have a degree and a career.

SparklyBusinessFuckingFairyNo1 · 20/03/2017 20:21

Yes littlefrog of course you've had a PM. We believe you.

Absolutely gobsmacked at the judgemental twattishness being shown on here.