To think 41 is v v young for a granny??

[TinfoilHattie]

I'm 44. Recently I have been back in touch with some people I was at school with on Facebook - haven't seen these people for over 20 years, nearer 25 probably. I'm quite surprised at the number who are already grandparents - I saw a picture of a toddler on one of their FB pages, assumed it was their child but no, a grandchild having their third birthday. Granny is the same age as me.

My mum was 27 when she had me and became a grandparent at 58. My inlaws were the same age. My eldest is 14 and I am not expecting to be a granny much before I'm 60, so that's my "normal". Cannot imagine being a granny by 41 and may be a bit unreasonable thinking it's nothing to aspire to?

My mum was working full time when mine were babies she just retired last year so she wasn't around like older grans are

Ooo the 26 club that is a weird coinsedence (sp)

My mother had me at 18, I had my first born at 18. So she become a grandmother at 36.

arm I'm totally with you! Knowing what I know now early 20s is the best age to start your family if you are already married.

It's interesting here that in many towns the schools have a childcare attached to them for teachers and colleges have childcare for staff and students. I'm in the US and getting married while at college is not unusual.

I wish we had children younger. I could kick myself for not doing.
The only thing I really want is to see my children grow up and live long enough to be a Grannie.
Sod travelling, career, I tell you it matters not a jot when you are facing a very uncertain future due to illness.

In this country you could legally be a grannie at 32 so I don't think 41 IS young, I'd say 30 was young.

Also, if you are a teenage mother, that means that your dd will be one too, so that's another reason why some grandmothers are so young

My mum became a grandmother the same year her brother became a father. She had me in her early twenties, I had my DC in my early twenties. He had his DC is his late thirties.

20+20=40. Therefore a Grandmother at 41 isn't that young.

My nan, mother, and brother all had their first child at 19 (all were married homeowners.)

so when my niece was born, my mom was a nan at 38 and my nan a great grandmother at 57.

21/22 isn't really a "young mum" in my view so 43ish wouldn't be a particularly young nana either. It's very unusual to be a fortysomething grandmother where I am, because most of my friends weren't ready to be parents until they were 28+, but I can see lots of positives. A 20 year old colleague of mine has living great-grandparents (aged 85ish), which I think is nice.

My mum is 1 of 8 so she had a baby same time as her brother became a grandad.

Also, if you are a teenage mother, that means that your dd will be one too

Please tell me you meant to write "might" instead of "will"?

My mother became a 'Mamgu/gran at 42.

They own a good business and I was financially stable (small mortgage, working fully time, married) and really wanted to be a Mum.

Works perfect for us.

As a 15 year old I met a girl the same age who told me with a glint in her eye that her Mum was 30!

The truth is though, much as I understand why people want to prove stereotypes wrong, you don't have to.

It's just fine to be a stereotype. It's fine to be twenty and expecting a baby and not to ever go to university and never to travel further than north Wales in a caravan.

I often look at the 'young mums' I know MY mum would have sneered at and realise they have a life filled with more love and happiness than mine is, despite the degree and Travelz.

If YOU'RE happy and content, and more importantly your child is - that's what we should aspire to!

*Why are people so convinced having a baby in your mid thirties is the best way? confused

Worst possible time to me. Your own parents are just entering old age if they also had you in mid thirties as your first child is starting secondary school. Your child will be going to university in your fifties so forget early retirement! And you have to take a career break just when you've probably got established.

OR have a child at 21. Spend five years at home enjoying the. Then retrain with the support of your own parents and while your children are at school.

The middle class way is the most stressful IMVHO!*

But who's paying for you to have your five years at home from 21 to 26? Living off benefits is hard and stressful. I suppose some 21 year olds might have partners who can support them, but not many - and given the success rates of relationships at that age, it would be a foolish thing to rely on. Is it your own parents? If so, seems like a rather bigger burden than seeing your kids through university...

She had her daughter at 14, her daughter had a little girl when she was 15 and now the 15 yo granddaughter is due to give birth!

Surely nobody thinks that children having babies is a good thing??

"""""Also, if you are a teenage mother, that means that your dd will be one too"""""

Yes, of course I meant might!

Forties is early to be a grandparent imo. I have several friends having dc in their Forties.

My mum had me at 39 and i had my dd at 35, so she was 74 when she became a grandma. She's 79 now and in good health but I feel sad she may not see her granddaughters grow up. I don't know how i could have changed things - didn't meet dh til I was 30. I'm quite jealous of those with young parents!

I went to school with two girls whose mums were 16 when they had them. One went on to have her first child at 16, making her mum a grandmother at 32, the other had her first at 20, so her mum was a grandmother at 36. 41 really isn't very young, it just means two generations have had babies at around age 20.

I had my children at 31, and would have done it younger if I could have. I'd love to be a youngish grandmother, but realistically I'll probably be in my 60s at least if current trends continue. I want to know my grandchildren and see them grow up, I don't think there's any shame in that.

Margaret I guess you might have a working partner?

"Surely nobody thinks that children having babies is a good thing"

What classifies as a child differs from country to country. And from an evolutionary point of view, 14-15 is probably a great time to have a baby!

Not that I'm saying teenagers should of course.

I was living away from home at 17. I had DC in my early twenties when i was married, and worked part time from them being six months. I didn't rely on parents or benefits. I didn't claim benefits until my marriage failed, and even then i worked constantly. I had friends go through the same thing in their thirties, and forties. Not all 21 year olds are single moms.

My mum was a gran before I was born.
I had my first at 20, I'm now 25 and have another. PIL were 39. I have a good life, married, stable job. In laws love having grandchildren, FIL especially he says to keep them coming. They are very involved and say they are happy they are young grandparents as they have still got so much energy for them.
Someone who went to uni and doesn't have kids yet is no better than me, just chose a different path.

I too went to school with a girl who had a baby at 16, the same as her mum had done.
So, a granny at 32.
Another girl was just 14, her mum was 19 when she had her so a granny at 34.
I've lived in areas where people had children very young, and others where they were much older/ old enough to be grannies