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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Oh fucking hell its a parking one..

391 replies

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 14:59

Tell me please what fresh hell is this?

Of course there is a backstory but it culminated with dh being threatened today Sad

We live on a new housing estate, we share the entrance to our driveway with two other families....
We have owned the house for 8 years but it has been rented out while we've been abroad. We just recently moved back and discovered that no one now living here is aware that it is in fact a shared entrance but not a shared drive. The parking has been pretty bad and I've had to knock on my ndn1's about 5 times to be able to leave my property as she was parked on it. Interestingly enough this seems to piss my neighbor off Confused
I had been getting some building work done, it took about 6 weeks. I informed my neighbors beforehand and wouldn't allow work after 6pm in order to not put the neighbors out to much.
A truck dented my neighbours (2) fence i got it fixed immediately and was mortified and apologetic.
A delivery truck was blocking the exit once by about 5 inches and my neighbor 1 went batshit at me in the street. It was the same neighbor who was consistently blocking me in and i was only ever nice & polite to her when she was on my propertyHmm
My ndn2 stood out on the drive with her dh and dm and shouted over to my gardeners that i was a disgrace for having building materials on ndn1's drive.

Still with me?

When the work was finished i took round wine and a card to both neightbours (i also arranged to get their windows washed to clean any builders dust)and thanked them for their patience. In the card i attached a photo copy of the property boundaries for their information and so they would realise that they were in fact parking on my drive and that I wasn't storing property on ndn1's drive that it was in fact my
property.

So that's the back story ... now this is where it starts to get nasty.
Just to make things better we live opposite a school.
Sometimes a random blocks the drive entrance and uses it as a parking space. Last week i lost my rag and put a note on the windscreen with Pratt stick saying RUDE - this isn't a parking space. (Fucking bastarding mumsnet giving me these ideas)..anyway turns out it was ndn2's visitor...I didn't know Blush ...it made no sense, why would he park blocking when the neighbor had 2 spaces on his drive???
Anyway the ndn 2 stopped speaking to us (which really is ok because they were never very nice to us anyway), but unfortunately they added in talking about us loudly so we overhear , stink eyeing us, ignoring us when we greet them....sort of a pack mentality when they have. Visitors...sort of low level intimidation but very unpleasant.
The council put in keep clear signs at our drive entrance yesterday - i requested them about 6 months ago. The ndn2 has gone apoplectic. Now they don't park on their drive at all, they are parking both cars at the entrance to make it difficult for us to leave.
They've now set up toys for their D.C. On the entrance so we would have to ask the D.C. To move them temporarily while we exit.which we did, politely of course...
This has resulted in non dh going mental 'squaring up" pointing in my dh's face calling him names, taunting him, telling him hit me hit me go on...my chest just kept very calm with his hands behind his back....ndn's poor poor ds was crying terribly it was awful begging him to "leave it dad please"....when people walked by the ndn doh cuddled his boy and said to my dh...look what you've done to my poor boy you're scaring him Shock....
I have no idea how to deal with this situation.

Any help please?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
woodhill · 19/03/2017 17:06

The parking does seem illogical but it would help if they dd not block the shared entrance.

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 17:07

Ffs Angrysorry again

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 19/03/2017 17:07

That must also make it difficult for NDN1 to get in and out. Can you both not gang up on NDN2 somehow?

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 19/03/2017 17:09

By the looks of it this is making life difficult for NDN1 as well. Can you join forces?

BillyButtfuck · 19/03/2017 17:09

The plans are perfectly clear and really can't be argued with. Is there an estate manager at all?

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 19/03/2017 17:11

why are the children playing there? That's a long distance from the house.

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 17:12

Our last tenants only lived here1 Year before we came back. They both worked from. Home 1 car and rare visitors, they also went home to their home country for long visits.
I do believe our ndn 2 have basically done. What they wanted and we've pisssd on their chips

OP posts:
Emster58 · 19/03/2017 17:14

The D.C. Are actually playing on the entrance where the keep clear sign is
It is on a slope and they get their scooters and a ramp

OP posts:
PunjanaTea · 19/03/2017 17:15

It's really obvious from your plan that there is one entrance for three drives and it looks like there is enough space for everyone. NDN2 are totally in the wrong. What do NDN1 think of all this? They must have bee blocking them in or out too.

PunjanaTea · 19/03/2017 17:17

Sorry just read your OP again. NDN1 were also being arses about the fact they'd blocked your drive.

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 17:20

I've not talked to ndn 1 about it...they were out this morning when he kicked off.
I won't talk to her about. It ....ndn 2 works as a ta at her dc school ndn1 will want to keep sweet with them I suspect

OP posts:
Emster58 · 19/03/2017 17:23

Ndn 1 no longer blocks my drive
Ndn 2 is escalating and isn't legally blocking me but has graduated from intimidation to full on aggression today

OP posts:
RandomMess · 19/03/2017 17:27

If you alone own where they are parking it's still back to my original proposition, signs up and start wheel clamping Wink

youarenotkiddingme · 19/03/2017 17:29

Took me a while to work that parking out! I guess before the keep clear bit there's a road? And the don't block sign now goes across that?

Ndn2 are intimidating knobs though. They have plenty of space to park in front of their house and there is no reason the kids can't play on ramp with scooters and just move for cars. In every street there's this type of slope that I know of it's normal!

Hope the police do something. Is there also anyway the bit either side of the entrance an become no parking if parking there makes entering and exiting difficult? Or just one side?
Most of all I don't understand why ndn2 don't just park on their drive - that doesn't prevent their kids playing.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 19/03/2017 17:31

It sounds like you have done your best to be a good neighbour but NDN 1 and NDN 2 are officially batshit

Benedikte2 · 19/03/2017 17:35

OP is it possible without too much expense to enlarge the entrance to the driveway (using your land) so that you have your own private entrance? Or can you make an entrance from the street in front of your house and then turn the erstwhile drive/parking area that belongs to you into garden -- fencing it off with a post and chain fence from the communal area.
Once a year you'd need to use your communal entrance just to maintain your rights to it -- easy enough to do.

CotswoldStrife · 19/03/2017 17:36

Ndn would have to park one in front of the other (in line) to park in their space though, if they park outside the drive they can use either car. Not a big thing really but obviously more than they can cope with!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 19/03/2017 17:37

Missed a load of updates!
OK NDN 2 is the only batshit one!

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 19/03/2017 17:39

So really the Keep Clear bit is more of an access road than a drive.

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 17:39

I really struggle with this....i cant understand itConfused I'm nice, were a good family we try to be nice neighbors. We're reasonable people, how can ndn think his behaviour is acceptable.
It's really something i have to work on.

He was threatening my doh, shouting screaming..he called us psychos Sad
I was sat in the car, I didn't want to inflame the situation i knew dh would have preferred me to let him deal with it.
It is all just so unnecessary and quite frankly embarrassing.
I feel like such a failure when i cant work something out amicably.

OP posts:
Emster58 · 19/03/2017 17:42

Keep clear is an access and is owned by the council.
I couldn't have my own entrance as it would be to difficult but really hard for me to explain.

OP posts:
Bunnyfuller · 19/03/2017 17:44

We're going through similar with our neighbours. It's horrific. Your neighbour has committed a public order offence but you need evidence. You can get CCTV, if you can afford the expensive stuff it'll record verbals too. We've learnt that they'll lie through their teeth about what they've said/done so now I have to carry my phone with me with voice recorder on and if they start I tell thrm they're being recorded. You have to tell them for it to be able to be used evidentially. Any CCTV must only film your own property, and you need a notice up.

I have no advice other than move. This has been going on since 2012 for us and it is now making me and DH ill. Ours started from asking very politely for a car to be moved along slightly so it wasn't parked opposite our drive. It's a new development and the builders haven't built enough room on the road to swing round. The neighbour's have 2 cars but only ever park one on drive.

Start a diary now too. Every time they do something, note it.

Unfortunately you have to declare the dispute when you move, so it can knock money off your house too. I'm a bundle of laughs, aren't I!

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 18:29

I appreciate all your comments.
The police will visit them tomorrow and hopefully that will chill the heat.

Im not sure what else to do really. They seem to have entered into some kind of parallel pissing competition with us and im a little afraid of what they may do in retaliation.

OP posts:
Rainbunny · 19/03/2017 18:39

I'm sorry for OP, people like this make life so stressful and upsetting. I always wonder how people like this can go through life full of relentless, obsessive anger towards others :(

I really think you need to get some cctv cameras put up (perhaps as discreetly as possible - clearly visible cameras may set them off even more) and also install cameras (with voice recording) in your car so any incidents of you nicely asking the DCs to move their toys from the drive will refute the loudly shouted lies that their father is spouting. It sounds like you're behaving perfectly on your side - keep doing that and don't let them goad you into any type of retaliation. Unfortunately you're going to have to behave 100% perfectly so they can never claim that you have done something to them. If you haven't already done it for the police, write a journal of all the events especially including your attempts to appease the neighbours. Goodluck!

BillyButtfuck · 19/03/2017 18:43

Are the police visiting them as a result of their abusive behaviour today