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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Oh fucking hell its a parking one..

391 replies

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 14:59

Tell me please what fresh hell is this?

Of course there is a backstory but it culminated with dh being threatened today Sad

We live on a new housing estate, we share the entrance to our driveway with two other families....
We have owned the house for 8 years but it has been rented out while we've been abroad. We just recently moved back and discovered that no one now living here is aware that it is in fact a shared entrance but not a shared drive. The parking has been pretty bad and I've had to knock on my ndn1's about 5 times to be able to leave my property as she was parked on it. Interestingly enough this seems to piss my neighbor off Confused
I had been getting some building work done, it took about 6 weeks. I informed my neighbors beforehand and wouldn't allow work after 6pm in order to not put the neighbors out to much.
A truck dented my neighbours (2) fence i got it fixed immediately and was mortified and apologetic.
A delivery truck was blocking the exit once by about 5 inches and my neighbor 1 went batshit at me in the street. It was the same neighbor who was consistently blocking me in and i was only ever nice & polite to her when she was on my propertyHmm
My ndn2 stood out on the drive with her dh and dm and shouted over to my gardeners that i was a disgrace for having building materials on ndn1's drive.

Still with me?

When the work was finished i took round wine and a card to both neightbours (i also arranged to get their windows washed to clean any builders dust)and thanked them for their patience. In the card i attached a photo copy of the property boundaries for their information and so they would realise that they were in fact parking on my drive and that I wasn't storing property on ndn1's drive that it was in fact my
property.

So that's the back story ... now this is where it starts to get nasty.
Just to make things better we live opposite a school.
Sometimes a random blocks the drive entrance and uses it as a parking space. Last week i lost my rag and put a note on the windscreen with Pratt stick saying RUDE - this isn't a parking space. (Fucking bastarding mumsnet giving me these ideas)..anyway turns out it was ndn2's visitor...I didn't know Blush ...it made no sense, why would he park blocking when the neighbor had 2 spaces on his drive???
Anyway the ndn 2 stopped speaking to us (which really is ok because they were never very nice to us anyway), but unfortunately they added in talking about us loudly so we overhear , stink eyeing us, ignoring us when we greet them....sort of a pack mentality when they have. Visitors...sort of low level intimidation but very unpleasant.
The council put in keep clear signs at our drive entrance yesterday - i requested them about 6 months ago. The ndn2 has gone apoplectic. Now they don't park on their drive at all, they are parking both cars at the entrance to make it difficult for us to leave.
They've now set up toys for their D.C. On the entrance so we would have to ask the D.C. To move them temporarily while we exit.which we did, politely of course...
This has resulted in non dh going mental 'squaring up" pointing in my dh's face calling him names, taunting him, telling him hit me hit me go on...my chest just kept very calm with his hands behind his back....ndn's poor poor ds was crying terribly it was awful begging him to "leave it dad please"....when people walked by the ndn doh cuddled his boy and said to my dh...look what you've done to my poor boy you're scaring him Shock....
I have no idea how to deal with this situation.

Any help please?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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BirdInTheRoom · 23/03/2017 12:42

Is there anyway you can create your own access by applying to the council for an extended dropped kerb on your side and enlarging the driveway somehow? Costly I know, but at least you wouldn't have to then engage with the neighbours and it would be better in the long run and you want to sell...

Emster58 · 23/03/2017 12:59

I think you are correct gabs we will be seeking legal advice and happily we have just discovered we are insure after all, thank goodness.

I just came home to discover that ndn2's visiting mother is parked on ndn1's parking area as she cant access ndn2's HmmConfused It's absolutely ludicrous.

OP posts:
Emster58 · 23/03/2017 13:01

Bird

It's really not possible to extend on the opposing side of my fence and hedges there is a path and access to a zebra crossing.

OP posts:
shallichangemyname · 23/03/2017 13:01

Is that the fishwife DM? Definitely avoid her!

shallichangemyname · 23/03/2017 13:02

And definitely try and get more friendly with NDN1.

Emster58 · 23/03/2017 13:04

Ndn1 must think we are all certifiable.

You really couldn't make this shit up.

Yes it was fishwife DM

OP posts:
SweetBabyJebus · 23/03/2017 14:01

Emster, hope this all resolves itself soon and the batshit ndn's cone to their senses. Thnking about your turning circle, could you remove some of your lawn or planting beds to make the space wider?

wideboy26 · 23/03/2017 16:32

OP has already said that she could sacrifice a bit of her garden to make her turning area bigger down by her house, but that it would involve expense. And why should she? It would serve only to show that ndn2's had 'won' and might encourage them to take even more liberties.

I too am glad that I don't have a shared access. Ours is an older estate and we all have access to our driveways individually.

terrylene · 23/03/2017 17:12

Because it is a lot cheaper than spending 20K in the courts, and much, much less stressful.

Bahhhhhumbug · 24/03/2017 10:03

Hell would freeze over before I stopped using the jointly owned area to turn in (or whatever) Mind you that's just me I'm an awkward bugger As others have said these are the sort to take a mile given an inch and they will see it as a huge victory. I wouldn't otoh use it more than necessary I would actually - I would spend my weekend off constantly driving up and down exiting and entering and turning there and repeat Grin so as not to be seen as goady about it. When they objected/kicked off about it I would just keep calmly repeating to them a la broken record technique that it was jointly owned land and I was using it for its intended purpose and would continue to do so.

celebrityskin · 27/03/2017 14:30

OP please do update us on what's been happening!

SophieGiroux · 28/03/2017 16:45

Ditto!

petpank · 28/03/2017 17:40

Wow this sounds awful. Hoping the loons get bored of behaving like 5 year olds....

Emster58 · 01/04/2017 08:31

Update.

Hi everyone, i was giving things a little time before i posted to see if things would change.
I checked the deeds last weekend and while we all have our own property we each have full right of way on each other's and the deeds clearly state that nobody is allowed to park any vehicle in a way that inhibits or blocks another owner.
My dd has been off school since last week so their has been no school run for me, this has helped me stay incognito.
Initially things have been quiet, they have continued to park badly and inhibit us but i havent felt threatened this last week....
So i was feeling that if they left us alone and stopped the threatening behaviour and verbal abuse that i would just ignore the parking.

Until last night. Ndn's mother & father were visiting. They prevented my visitor from dropping off my dd, when they seen her coming the df flashed her so she didn't enter my driveway and she pulled up at the road he shouted at me as my friend had pulled up on the yellow zigzags. They all stood out on the driveway heckling my dd and myself as we walked past even the little boy was calling us names although im not sure what. They really seemed to enjoy it, the venom and nastiness was very apparent. My dd was very upset she said she'd had a good day until she came home.
So unfortunately i was hoping that maybe they would just leave us in peace and continue to hate us silently but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.
Ive been keeping a diary but apart from that im really not sure what to do next.

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 01/04/2017 08:47

Police again for that one.

Emster58 · 01/04/2017 09:01

Dh and i were just talking about this, should i email the officer who came out ? Im worried they'll think im a time waster or a drama queen.

OP posts:
Ledkr · 01/04/2017 09:09

Yes, I wouldn't. Explain what you have just written, it's harassment and not acceptable. Did you say they are renting?

TesticlesInTheBlender · 01/04/2017 09:09

I would contact the police - but I do not cope well with conflict and would probably have moved by now.

Good luck.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 01/04/2017 09:09

The behaviour you described will be of interest. Phone 101.

If you call the police for twatty parking but don't seem to much bother when a gang of adults shout abuse at your child, that's odd.

That TA should not be around children. Please call the police.

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 01/04/2017 09:24

They shouted abuse at a child!
Next time get your phone out and film them.

Emster58 · 01/04/2017 09:46

I have emailed the officer who came out previously.
I am not sure exactly what they were all saying, just general heckling, jeering, their little boy called me a name although i didn't quite catch it.

Honestly you just wouldn't believe it, i mean what really is in it for them?

Surely they cant feel good about this situation or maybe they enjoy it..who knows??

I did consider my phone but i really am trying not to do anything that may appear goady iyswim.

Can you imagine standing on your driveway with your DM and df and D.C. And shouting at the ndn with her dd like hooligans Shock

You really wouldn't believe it to look at them, they are very aspirational.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 01/04/2017 09:47

That's shocking, it s bad enough doing it to adults but bullying children is insane

Emster58 · 01/04/2017 09:48

runrabbit

I didn't call the police for twatty parking.
I called the police because ndn got violent with my dh and his wife was intimidating me with her vehicle. Driving into me etc.

OP posts:
NightWanderer · 01/04/2017 10:14

Ask the police for advice re filming. I still think you should get CCTV. They'll be a lot less intimidating if they know they are being filmed. Plus evidence for the police. You can get good CCTV for a few hundred pounds. Have a look around.

mistlethrush · 01/04/2017 10:31

I think that there should be a very clear definition on your purchase information regarding 'shared drive' and 'private drive' - the shared drive (the bit you all drive up together with the square box bit) should be kept clear and not used for parking.