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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Oh fucking hell its a parking one..

391 replies

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 14:59

Tell me please what fresh hell is this?

Of course there is a backstory but it culminated with dh being threatened today Sad

We live on a new housing estate, we share the entrance to our driveway with two other families....
We have owned the house for 8 years but it has been rented out while we've been abroad. We just recently moved back and discovered that no one now living here is aware that it is in fact a shared entrance but not a shared drive. The parking has been pretty bad and I've had to knock on my ndn1's about 5 times to be able to leave my property as she was parked on it. Interestingly enough this seems to piss my neighbor off Confused
I had been getting some building work done, it took about 6 weeks. I informed my neighbors beforehand and wouldn't allow work after 6pm in order to not put the neighbors out to much.
A truck dented my neighbours (2) fence i got it fixed immediately and was mortified and apologetic.
A delivery truck was blocking the exit once by about 5 inches and my neighbor 1 went batshit at me in the street. It was the same neighbor who was consistently blocking me in and i was only ever nice & polite to her when she was on my propertyHmm
My ndn2 stood out on the drive with her dh and dm and shouted over to my gardeners that i was a disgrace for having building materials on ndn1's drive.

Still with me?

When the work was finished i took round wine and a card to both neightbours (i also arranged to get their windows washed to clean any builders dust)and thanked them for their patience. In the card i attached a photo copy of the property boundaries for their information and so they would realise that they were in fact parking on my drive and that I wasn't storing property on ndn1's drive that it was in fact my
property.

So that's the back story ... now this is where it starts to get nasty.
Just to make things better we live opposite a school.
Sometimes a random blocks the drive entrance and uses it as a parking space. Last week i lost my rag and put a note on the windscreen with Pratt stick saying RUDE - this isn't a parking space. (Fucking bastarding mumsnet giving me these ideas)..anyway turns out it was ndn2's visitor...I didn't know Blush ...it made no sense, why would he park blocking when the neighbor had 2 spaces on his drive???
Anyway the ndn 2 stopped speaking to us (which really is ok because they were never very nice to us anyway), but unfortunately they added in talking about us loudly so we overhear , stink eyeing us, ignoring us when we greet them....sort of a pack mentality when they have. Visitors...sort of low level intimidation but very unpleasant.
The council put in keep clear signs at our drive entrance yesterday - i requested them about 6 months ago. The ndn2 has gone apoplectic. Now they don't park on their drive at all, they are parking both cars at the entrance to make it difficult for us to leave.
They've now set up toys for their D.C. On the entrance so we would have to ask the D.C. To move them temporarily while we exit.which we did, politely of course...
This has resulted in non dh going mental 'squaring up" pointing in my dh's face calling him names, taunting him, telling him hit me hit me go on...my chest just kept very calm with his hands behind his back....ndn's poor poor ds was crying terribly it was awful begging him to "leave it dad please"....when people walked by the ndn doh cuddled his boy and said to my dh...look what you've done to my poor boy you're scaring him Shock....
I have no idea how to deal with this situation.

Any help please?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
blueskyinmarch · 19/03/2017 15:46

I dont usually advocate calling the police but in this situation i think i would call the non emergency number and ask advice on dealing with the threatening behaviour and them blocking your drive. Sounds like a very horrible and tense situation for you and your family.

nancy75 · 19/03/2017 15:46

Why are their dc playing on your drive? I take it they have right of way across the drive to get to theirs but not to set up toys?

Trollspoopglitter · 19/03/2017 15:46

Op, if it is your driveway then damn straight they shouldn't be playing on it. Next they'll be injured and it will be "your" fault. if they're all renting, you need to take this up with their landlords as they were obviously misled before renting.

ADishBestEatenCold · 19/03/2017 15:47

Does your local Council provide (or know of) a neighbourhood mediation service?

Might be a good starting place (if only for the 'brownie points' you get for being the one to ask for and cooperate with mediation ... handy evidence if it ever goes to court).

ExitPursuedByUser54321 · 19/03/2017 15:48
DontTouchTheMoustache · 19/03/2017 15:49

God that's awful! What an awful living situation. I agree that you should get cctv set up as it might discourage his behaviour (hopefully)

PlayOnWurtz · 19/03/2017 15:50

Be mindful about taking this further if you plan on selling up as it could cause you problems further down the line. Sounds like you're doing the right things however intimidation and threats of violence are police matters

Pearlsofmadness · 19/03/2017 15:50

Agree with Pp, time to get the PCSO involved before it turns nastier. Had a similar situation in my old street (between other neighbours) which resulted in the aggrivator getting an ASBO.

juls1888 · 19/03/2017 15:50

Speak to the police and get CCTV with audio and hard drive recording. That will knock this nonsense into touch.
We had similar with a neighbour's son, every time he visited he would park over our drive. Straw that broke the camel's back was that he demanded my friend (who was miscarrying at that time) move her car from blocking my drive as he wasn't allowed to do that so why should she. My DH decided to play them at their own game and when he started kicking off and squaring up to DH, he fronted him back up. Obviously didn't come to blows but it showed them we weren't the soft touches that they thought we were. Completely ignored them since and now 2 years down the line they are trying to chat and be friendly again....Not going to happen!

CotswoldStrife · 19/03/2017 15:51

We have a similar layout near us I think, the 'drive' goes past two houses and opens up into a square outside the third house (an L shape).

I don't understand why the council would put signs at the drive entrance though?

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 19/03/2017 15:54

I don't understand why the council would put signs at the drive entrance though?

Yes, I don't understand why the council needed to be involved either. Just get your own sign and stick it up.

ivykaty44 · 19/03/2017 15:55

Poor you, it sounds awfully beasty. Put up cameras to catch this behaviour?

Wishfulmakeupping · 19/03/2017 15:57

I think I would be getting the police involved now it's getting nasty but word of warning any police involvement or council complaints and you will need to declare a dispute when and if you do sell- a shared entrance to drive will be off putting anyway so with a dispute attached to it- that could make selling very difficult so if you are thinking it could be best if you did move then I wouldn't.
We were constantly getting shit from our old Ndn about our parking (even though we were doing nothing wrong) if we had stayed we would have had to involved the police regarding harassment but we knew we'd be moving for school places anyway so just put up with it until we sold.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 19/03/2017 15:57

Presumably the tenants you had whilst you weren't living there weren't aware of the facts of the situation, or didn't have a car on the drive? The problem is that they must have got used to pleasing themselves and are reluctant to relinquish what they regard as their territory. But you have given them a diagram with the information on it and surely they must have deeds showing the boundaries of their property.

Shared access is almost always a problem.

mateysmum · 19/03/2017 15:58

Might be worth investigating CCTV. You need evidence if this escalates. Just having it there may deter them.
Sounds like they will never respond to pleasant requests, so perhaps a solicitor's letter. Be careful though as if you sell the house you will need to declare any neighbour disputes.

picklemepopcorn · 19/03/2017 16:05

The council may well have done it because of the school. It was aimed at school parents dropping off.

Poor kids. You have been so considerate with the builders etc. Does the other set op of neighbours accept the situation? Maybe you could get them onside. Visit and ask what went on when you were away, see if that explains anything.

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 16:06

Ndn1 is a renter. After the initial upheaval we have progressed to a positive relationship. I don't believe ndn1 was deliberately parking anti socially...my drive passes the front of her house she probably thought it was hers
Ndn2 owns

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 19/03/2017 16:06

You definitely need CCTV though, you can get a wifi, indoor camera for about £25 I think. It works through the window. Log incidents. Report to police rather than solicitor at first, I think, for the aggression and harrassment.

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 16:08

The council didn't put on the keep clear for me we live across from a school with zig zags at either side of our entrance...its to stop parents blocking us

OP posts:
Emster58 · 19/03/2017 16:11

Im trying to work the diagram....
Dh contacted the police...a lovely officer just visited he's going to have a word but ndn is out so he'll have to come back.
Our ndn 1 does accept the changed situation now and we are ok

OP posts:
Emster58 · 19/03/2017 16:14

It was quite weird the stuff he was saying though...he said i was boasting to his wife about my 100 grande car Confused emmm well that never happened -why is his wife lying about me to him?
He also kept saying to dh...so you think you are a big man do you?

I really thought he was going to bust something..
His poor poor dc i was so upset for them.. and mine....selfish bastard

OP posts:
BluePancakes · 19/03/2017 16:15

We had similar(ish) - we had a shared dropped curb, leading to two separate driveways. The bf of ndn's dd1 (who practically lived there) would constantly park over the dropped curb, blocking us in or out, even though there was plenty of parking on the road that didn't clock us. They rented (council) so I knew I could do something about it, however the council wouldn't do anything unless the police were involved, and the police advised me that if I did contact them officially to complain, when we went to sell we would have to declare we were in dispute with our ndns. We had no intention of living there long term, so after the bf got up in my face, in front of my kids, after we asked him politely to move for the umpteenth time, we put the house on the market the next week.

We've lived in our new house for nearly 2 years now, and though we no longer have a driveway (new-ish build house), we love it and have had no issues with neighbours at all.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 19/03/2017 16:15

BTW, OP - posting a diagram on MN when asking for advice about parking isn't a rule and it really isn't required at all. Some like a diagram but it's not a requirement when posting a thread about parking.

I hope you manage to get it sorted though. It can't be easy to be under all this stress all the time

Funnyonion17 · 19/03/2017 16:18

Dear god they sound like riff raff. I would involve the police regarding the intimidation and I'd also get a solicitor involved to look at the property deeds and produce some sort of document you can present to them regarding it been your drive too and threatening them with legal action if they persist with this bullshit. They sound very immature and idiots tbh.

Did you have long term tenants on before you moved back? As it sounds to me they may hold a grudge possibly due to them being gone? Oh and the note on their car was a bad move, I'd have knocked on doors and not looked too impressed asking them to move. It sounds to me they are bullies though, they have weighed you up first from how kind you are and decided your non threatening so game on. Bullies work like this unfortunately.

Glossolalia · 19/03/2017 16:21

Oh I'm so sorry, OP. How scary for you all Sad

I'm glad you have got the police involved, that kind of behaviour can't be accepted.

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