Oh fucking hell its a parking one..

[Emster58]

Tell me please what fresh hell is this?

Of course there is a backstory but it culminated with dh being threatened today

We live on a new housing estate, we share the entrance to our driveway with two other families....
We have owned the house for 8 years but it has been rented out while we've been abroad. We just recently moved back and discovered that no one now living here is aware that it is in fact a shared entrance but not a shared drive. The parking has been pretty bad and I've had to knock on my ndn1's about 5 times to be able to leave my property as she was parked on it. Interestingly enough this seems to piss my neighbor off
I had been getting some building work done, it took about 6 weeks. I informed my neighbors beforehand and wouldn't allow work after 6pm in order to not put the neighbors out to much.
A truck dented my neighbours (2) fence i got it fixed immediately and was mortified and apologetic.
A delivery truck was blocking the exit once by about 5 inches and my neighbor 1 went batshit at me in the street. It was the same neighbor who was consistently blocking me in and i was only ever nice & polite to her when she was on my property
My ndn2 stood out on the drive with her dh and dm and shouted over to my gardeners that i was a disgrace for having building materials on ndn1's drive.

Still with me?

When the work was finished i took round wine and a card to both neightbours (i also arranged to get their windows washed to clean any builders dust)and thanked them for their patience. In the card i attached a photo copy of the property boundaries for their information and so they would realise that they were in fact parking on my drive and that I wasn't storing property on ndn1's drive that it was in fact my
property.

So that's the back story ... now this is where it starts to get nasty.
Just to make things better we live opposite a school.
Sometimes a random blocks the drive entrance and uses it as a parking space. Last week i lost my rag and put a note on the windscreen with Pratt stick saying RUDE - this isn't a parking space. (Fucking bastarding mumsnet giving me these ideas)..anyway turns out it was ndn2's visitor...I didn't know ...it made no sense, why would he park blocking when the neighbor had 2 spaces on his drive???
Anyway the ndn 2 stopped speaking to us (which really is ok because they were never very nice to us anyway), but unfortunately they added in talking about us loudly so we overhear , stink eyeing us, ignoring us when we greet them....sort of a pack mentality when they have. Visitors...sort of low level intimidation but very unpleasant.
The council put in keep clear signs at our drive entrance yesterday - i requested them about 6 months ago. The ndn2 has gone apoplectic. Now they don't park on their drive at all, they are parking both cars at the entrance to make it difficult for us to leave.
They've now set up toys for their D.C. On the entrance so we would have to ask the D.C. To move them temporarily while we exit.which we did, politely of course...
This has resulted in non dh going mental 'squaring up" pointing in my dh's face calling him names, taunting him, telling him hit me hit me go on...my chest just kept very calm with his hands behind his back....ndn's poor poor ds was crying terribly it was awful begging him to "leave it dad please"....when people walked by the ndn doh cuddled his boy and said to my dh...look what you've done to my poor boy you're scaring him ....
I have no idea how to deal with this situation.

Any help please?

I really don't want to talk about it with ndn1.
Im not sure why but i feel like giving it more oxygen is only going to make it worse iyswim?

I don't believe ndn1 would want to get involved, who would?
Ndn1 is only here temporary (xpat) and ndn2 is a TA at her dc's school across the road.

Im sure ndn1 are watching events unfold in horror as are probably the whole neighborhood as its very obvious what's happening. I suspect that they'll find it quite amusing.

Ndn2 are currently, I believe putting us in our place.
All the talk yesterday to my dh about "you think you're a big man don't you"?
The lie the wife told..apparently i was boasting to her about my 100 grand car...the dh brought it up yesterday in anger at my dh.
That convo NEVER happened and i do not have a 100 grand car
It's all a bit cringey and I'm really unsure if i should verbalize it but I'm wondering if our house remodeling has created a bit of envy.
It would explain why they are making up issues to be angry about and escalating it so dramatically.
Apart from that, I'm really all out of ideas, even this mornings intimidation, i just smiled and waved not sarcastically..just normally kept my head down.
Im not really sure what else i can do?

Ndn2 dh isn't a small man by any chance, is he? Because it sounds like small man syndrome to me.

I really feel for you and do think that you need to record every incident in some way (video, written, etc) and keep getting the police involved every time they behave in an intimidating or threatening way. Unfortunately, people like this won't just stop of their own accord.

Good luck

Get cctv

So the drive that the ndn are parking on actually belongs to the council?
Can the council start to fine?

I'd be tempted to tell NDN2 wife that she'll lose her job as a TA with a conviction for anti-social behaviour so to get herself to the far side of fuck off 🙄

I'm not sure about CCTV it will be a bit of an investment, dh thinks a couple of thousand after some research.
Also we are concerned about what message it sends.

The problem is they are parking on the keep clear at night and on weekends. During the day the wife parks on her drive as far out as possible with out it being an obstruction and then in the evening they both move their cars onto the keep clear when her dh comes home.
Im not sure the council would ticket this as we are able to get in and out just not comfortably and we can't get deliveries. You cant get a ticket just for being a twat can you?
They are not very bright though because they blocked their own shopping delivery and the poor delivery guy had to trundle over the street.
The fact that they're emotion led and not very considered is what bothers me the most. They don't appear to understand conflict resolution and aren't communicative.they have made up their own story and acting out like its fact.
Most of us recgonise that escalation is in nobodies best interests, they apparently don't.

Jumping jet

I actually am quite shocked to discover she is a TA, the way she uses her poor D.C.
They appeared like such a respectable family initially and if i pointed them out to you, you wouldn't believe it but appearances can be very deceptive.
You cant be very happy if you engage with people in this way surely?

No but they'll have convinced themselves that it's you making them unhappy not them. Then they will be their own echo chamber for all the ways that it's all YOUR fault not theirs.

I feel your pain emster, the developers were really relying on neighbours getting on with that driveway arrangement but people are so territorial. Separate access all the way for me. We are having a similar type of issue but it's about parking in front of our neighbours house on the road, beyond their front lawn and hedge. They threatened a visitor of ours a few weeks ago, violence was definitely going to happen, lots of goading. Fortunately our visitor walked away and didn't react. But it's really unpleasant. They also use their children in their intimidation, they get them to ride their bikes around the offending car, very close.

There's is a big back story but we don't want to involve the police as we are considering moving. It's just so unpleasant to be outside when they are, the filthy looks, muttering. They're definite trying to intimidate us, we haven't done anything wrong. Equally appalled at them as you are with your TA neighbour as they are Dr and accountant. Will you let us know what the police do?

TBF you are not really coming out of this covered in glory. The passive aggressive map and the pritt stick on their visitor car, so I can see why they aren't too friendly - however they are being complete dicks about it.

All I can suggest after the police visit is to ignore, ignore and ignore. They will get bored eventually if they don't get a reaction from you. Don't engage, walk away, do nothing. I think the investment in cctv would be worthwhile though because they are likely to up the ante to begin with after the police visit. Don't threaten them with it, don't mention it. They will know its there - just ignore them completely. Any reaction at all will just fuel the fire.

Mmmm tbh i really don't think the note was passive aggressive, it was the best course of action to take at the time and i would probably do it again.
The note on the car however wasn't my brightest idea. But..in my defence I'd had a couple of months of totally undeserved shit, name calling directed at me and constant blocking so i lost my shit.
I feel aggrieved that I've actually took so much shit and dealt with it and i fuck up once and they let loose on me.
On reflection my dh and i are actually considering the possibility that their visitor blocking me was purposeful.

But i think its good advice-

I too believe that a police visit will enrage them.

Proper CCTV is expensive, but you can get a wifi camera which sits on the window ledge very reasonably. I'm not sure how long the footage can be collected/stored for. We looked at it after some anti social behaviour, but it has died down now.

Invest in cctv for sure and get police involved - they don't like you anyway so why not.
I don't think it's a good idea to discuss these issues with their children and definitely do not give their children sweets without permission!
Asking for trouble!

What about second hand cctv - I'm sure you can something very discreet and hidden from view?

Next time he shouts, take your phone out or go get it and film him! Tell him you are recording every bit of intimidation from now on and that you will not be intimidated. Then if not a real one, make sure he sees you putting up a dummy CCTV camera. I hope things ease for you, it's awful having nasty neighbours x

You don't need to get CCTV. You can do it much more cheaply with modern technology. Something like this is a couple of hundred not a couple of thousand: nest.com/uk/camera/meet-nest-cam-outdoor/

If you can I would start reporting their parking on the keep clear to the council. You'd be surprised. Where I work I've had loads of hassle with a car parking space I rent. The council come out pretty sharpish

Record them. The school would be mega embarrassed to have a screaming banshee staff member on social media...

You need a camera.

And you need to contact th epolice.

I would say if you own the drive get the house plans copied, get it written down by a solicitor and attach with a nice letter saying even though you own the drive, you have to by law give them access. You are quite happy to do this, but they are not allowed to block the drive either, because everyone HAS to be given access.

Agree with the camera . They are not expensive and then you will have evidence if you need it . But I think the rule is it can only cover your own property? But that might be sufficient.i think you have been more than reasonable.

You cant get a ticket just for being a twat can you?.

But they're parking on council painted Keep Clear signs. They're not just being twats, they're doing something illegal!

Have you thought about contacting the TV show Nightmare Neighbours? Just joking not.

They are being very selfish. What about emergency services who may need to have access such as a house fire. Isn't it a ticketing offence?

38cody
I know what you means...my dad went to help find a neighbors dog and they bought her sweets, i just thought it was an opportunity to be kind and show good faith iyswim.
The ndn2 are both so abrasive that I find it very difficult to communicate with them.
I suppose the bottom line is that no matter what i do if they want to view it through a negative lense then they will.
I am of the view now that best case scenario would be mutual tolerance and no communication.
I'll even concede to the twatty parking if they stop the abuse and intimidation at this point.
desperatelylowstandards

The police were supposed to be speaking with them today, I don't know if they have or not. Ndn2 is currently parked appropriately on her drive but i wont get my hopes up...that kind of rage doesn't just dispel.
I expect the dh will be business as usual.