To be pissed off with people expecting you to do your job in your spare time for them. (For free!)

[user1484750550]

Not so much an AIBU, as I don't think I AM being unreasonable. Just wanted peoples views/opinions/advice etc...

Have people ever had this happen before? People expecting you to do your job in your own time, for free? And how did you deal with it?

Or are you actually experiencing something like this at the moment?

It has happened to my DH, my brother, my friend's husband, and now to me. I don't want to say too much, as it may identify me, but I have recently started a new job (say for example a hairdresser,) and I have had a couple of people asking me to do their hair for them (in my own time for free!)

DH is a mechanic and has been asked by 3 or 4 people in the past 3 months ALONE, to 'come and have a quick look at their car,' and deal with the problem they have, for free obviously.

My brother who is a carpenter, gets badgered too, to do random carpentry jobs for people, (for free!) and he's thinking of saying to the 5 or 6 people who keep asking him to do things for him, that his employer no longer allows it and he will get the sack if he is caught.

My friend's husband is a gardener, and keeps being asked (by extended family and neighbours) to come and do this and that for them in their gardens, and is never offered anything for it.

So has anyone else experienced this, and how did you deal with it? How did you deal with people expecting you to do your actual job for free for them in your spare time?

(The jobs I have said we all have are examples btw...)

I knit and crochet as a hobby. My aunt asked me to make a blanket for my (teenage) cousin's birthday because she'd liked one I made for our joint cousin.

Now the yarn alone was over £70 but I was so flattered to be asked that I didn't really want to mention it. The blanket was different because the other had been made with leftover yarn but it was colours my aunt had specified so I spent about 30 hours of my time making it quite happily and was really pleased with the result.

When I handed it over my aunt gave me £15 obviously thinking she'd been really generous but worst of all a couple of weeks later she gave it back (in a fecking carrier bag) and asked if I could make another "but more like X's". Fortunately another Aunt was more than happy to pay cost price to take the rejected blanket off my hands and thought she had a bargain for it...

OMG some of these tales made me stunned! Especially the doctors! A waste of taxpayers money indeed!!! And the one where the nurse spent all night advising someone, only for the woman to sod off at the end of the evening. I was also angry to hear of the people who are used by people to do stuff (like hair,) when they had gone out for the evening with (so-called) friends.

Overall though, I am stunned as F to hear how many people are taken advantage of by people. I mean, I know a doctor, a teacher, a hairdresser, a mechanic, and a solicitor, quite well (and a few others with other careers,) and I wouldn't DREAM of badgering them.

When I see the head doctor from our practice who lives near me, he always happily chats to me for a while, and is very friendly. I now realise it's because he knows he can chat to me without me having the boil under my armpit shoved under his nose!

You all have my sympathy, and you earn every penny you get! Teachers, doctors, nurses, dressmakers, builders, bakers, hairdressers, accountants, solicitors! And many others. It must be so tempting to say you work on a checkout in Lidl, so people won't bug you! As I said, I have already had a couple of people thinking they'll get my services for free.

And I think I may use the excuse my brother is thinking of using 'It's in my contract that it's prohibited for me to do anything outside of the workplace. You will have to ring the office and book it yourself, and they will send someone/allocate someone to you!' Also, saying it's £50 an hour may be a good idea too.

*disclaimer I don't have a boil under my armpit!

I told my husband he has to puts 3 day delay when they ask for help next time.

I'm a Classics teacher. At my last school, the office put through to the staffroom a phone call from some chap asking for 'a Latin teacher'. He explained that it was his dad's birthday coming up and he wanted something translated into Latin for him and could I do it. I said okay, because I love translating stuff into Latin, took down his email address and what he wanted translating. I did it the same day, emailed it to him, never heard anything back! I think it was the lack of any kind of thanks or acknowledgement that made me think, 'Who on earth does that?!' Very odd!

Massively outing, but what the hell.

DH & I both in the creative industries, fairly experienced - DH top of his field. ALWAYS asked to do freebies.

DH has shot 2 weddings for free for friends. One couple massively grateful. Fine. The other refused to even pay for an assistant (£100 max as mate's rates when he would usually charge £2500) so he had to rope in me (already bridesmaid) and other friends to help. Another friend asked him to help with a project she was doing. He gave up roughly 3 days of time for free, telling her when he would be able to have it done by due to other commitments, only to have her hound him one night when he'd told her he wouldn't be able to look at it due to paid work, leading to him staying up all night finishing it... no thank you, and she didn't even actually need it until a week later. Needless to say I blew up at her and cut off out friendship for about 6 months until she apologised profusely. She hasn't asked since.

I do a job that everyone thinks they know about. (Coming up with ideas for films and TV shows). EVERYONE loves pitching me their ideas (most frequent offender is my MIL), asking me to look at half finished scripts they've had in their drawers for years. One friend of a friend once phoned me up at work to tell me that he had the Next Big Idea and was going to send it to me to look at. When it arrived it wasn't 1 but 6 ideas. I cut off the friend who gave him my details. I spent 3 years working for less than NMW to get to where I am and frequently work ridiculous overtime on projects that I love in my actual job. Any free time I have outside of that is going to be spent doing hobbies, house stuff and with my DH.

DH now quotes mate's rates for jobs he genuinely likes the sound of, and I have developed a politely interested face to accompany the phrase "I'll think about it, thanks."

God, that was cathartic.

As a teacher with DC, I do tend to get asked to look after DD's classmates during the holidays. If the child is a friend of DD's and it's a once/twice off, I'll happily oblige. If you want me to look after your DS for 3 full days during half term - and he's not someone who DD has mentioned even once - then you can feck off!

As I teach MFL, I also get asked to translate things. I generally enjoy translating, and before DD2 was born I would normally say yes. Then a non-MFL colleague asked me to translate an insurance policy while I was at home with a week-old baby and I decided I needed to start saying no more often.

INeedABiggerBoat
I do a job that everyone thinks they know about. (Coming up with ideas for films and TV shows).

That's really fascinating, I have never heard of such a job. Do you work freelance and paid per idea used or employed, presumably by a production company? Did you need to train to do it?

In view of the subject of the thread I'm sorry to ask you questions its just your job is something I've never heard of before. And rest assured I have no intention of copying - far too old

Yeah I've had this. I'm an illustrator and have had people ask me to do a picture for their kids room or illustrate a story or illustrate a birthday invite etc... I usually conveniently forget - some of these things would take anywhere from days to weeks of my time. People just don't get it and think I can knock out a full colour illustration in ten minutes flat. I have enough to do already thanks - any artwork I've done for people outside work has been offered by me first and only for close friends or family.

Yes magic that's the kind of thing my artist friends get asked.

One did an amazing mural on her daughters' bedroom wall and was asked by an acquaintance to do their kids - expected her to do it all in a weekend and offered no money for materials let alone her time! It was quite a complex design too!

My friend answered along lines of 'you want me to stick a broom up my arse and sweep the floor while I'm at it?!'

People are bloody cheeky!

This never happens OP, I'm a project manager and not once has someone asked me to set up an inbound contact centre for them!

Of course I jest, YANBU at all. I have had friends help out with stuff, my sisters ex did some carpentry for me way back when, but he offered to do it for free. I would have paid him if he accepted it but we wouldn't.

People are cheap fuckers.

Oh and I have an artist friend who I'm going to commission to do a tattoo design. I will pay her the going rate, I would never expect her to spend hours on something for a favour!

FeliciaJollygoodfellow
This never happens OP, I'm a project manager and not once has someone asked me to set up an inbound contact centre for them!

You must be devastated to not be asked but try not to feel jealous [grin ]

I'm clearly in the minority here but I don't mind, I'm a dog groomer and have been for over 20 years, I've also been part of the local dog training clubs for even longer so am pretty knowledgeable on things such as medical problems and behaviour too, I'm always being asked advice and doing little jobs such as nail trimming and emptying small glands for free but it really doesn't bother me, I like it to be honest, it feels nice to help people (and their dogs).

*anal glands not small glands! Anal isn't in my predictive text fortunately.

'I need my gate fixing...' and being expected to work for free, supply the materials and st a time convenient to them... mmmm no...

All the time! I'm a solicitor too.

Apparently I know everything there is to know about all areas of law and can knock up a complicated contract in a matter of minutes 😂

I have helped people out many times, some really do try to take advantage though.

I did find it interesting recently when we were let down by a plumber we had booked a long time in advance not turning up. We were having a kitchen fitted and the fitters were going to walk out if we didn't get a replacement that day. It was a week before Christmas and we had no kitchen, 3 children and the whole family coming to us for Christmas. I searched high and low and eventually in desperation asked one of my son's friends mums whether her husband was able to help after work. I was more than happy to pay And make it worth his whims and made that clear, just was totally in a hole because of the no show. He couldn't/ wouldn't help.

Couple of weeks later they needed legal advice ........

I used to be a Ladbrokes manager and when I was out would get asked for results and odds

I don't think it's unreasonable for people to ask for favours and help but I find it extremely unreasonable for them not to pay you. If me and my partner ever ask our friends to do us a favour we will forcefully pay them. If we know a person won't accept then we won't ask. However if the person is immediate family then it should always be free. We all take our turn in helping.

I stopped singing professionally as I had so many people expecting it to be free. At one wedding, I didn't even get a thank you whilst the bridesmaids were showered with expensive gifts.

I work in the entertainment industry. I'm asked for tickets to things all the time.

I think it takes the piss and mates rates is another kettle of fish! Basically you're saying "I'm prepared to pay more money to a stranger than a mate" Surely you'd rather pay a mate £xxx than a stranger. Don't get it.

All the time! But there's a difference between carrying on a paid job for a bit longer, and being asked for out and out freebies. The first is ok, the second is not. The response is that they wouldn't expect a lawyer to work for free, so why would you do it?

Campfire

Do you work with vey young children?

People never cease to amaze me in their total 'entitledness' and ignorance of what constitutes normal polite behaviour!

Luckily I have never been asked to do work for free and I would never presume to ask someone who had a particulat skill to do something for me for free. I might barter if I could do something comparable for them but otherwise I would insist on payment or give a gift if they refused.

I have an elderly relative who is good at knitting, she was asked to do some knitting for a friend of a friend for their expected granchild, she said yes expecting a cardi/coat etc. She got a list of 8 coats, matinee jumpers and cardis to do, no buttons (which are fecking expensive these days nearly £1 each!!) and not enough wool to do half of them! Now thats taking advantage of a pensioner cos they 'havent anything else to do! Er yes she does she is never in the house!

It really p's me off.

Grow thick skins and tell them to do one please.

'm a Classics teacher. At my last school, the office put through to the staffroom a phone call from some chap asking for 'a Latin teacher'. He explained that it was his dad's birthday coming up and he wanted something translated into Latin for him and could I do it. I said okay, because I love translating stuff into Latin, took down his email address and what he wanted translating. I did it the same day, emailed it to him, never heard anything back! I think it was the lack of any kind of thanks or acknowledgement that made me think, 'Who on earth does that?!' Very odd!

You MUST email him again and tell him how to say "thank you" in Latin!