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Original poster

PFB confessions...

207 replies

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 19/03/2017 11:41

Just filled in PFB's "All about me" booklet for starting preschool in five weeks. It has a double-page spread for family photos - comfortably fits about four. I've painstakingly wedged in eleven. PFB grinning. PFB dancing. PFB shoveling food in his face. Then there're sections for writing about what PFB loves, hates, and is good at, word clouds to circle about his personality, tick boxes for how he learns/explores, all that kind of thing. Overall, I have pored over every question and written a carefully considered thesis. The staff going to take one leaf through this and make some (probably fairly accurate) conclusions. And yet, I cannot stop myself. In fact, I am ready to burst into tears at the very thought of taking him in on his first day with his little book all about him clutched in his hands.

Please cheer me up and tell me I'm not the only one who has done/is doing stuff like this. What's your most OTT PFB moment?

(PS. We have twins on the way so I imagine three years from now I'll be howling with laughter at my current self.)

OP posts:
primaryboodle · 19/03/2017 11:44

My first night out of pfb dd was at about 5 months. Shes ebf and wont take a bottle - i cried all the way to the pub and rang dp incessently to check on her incase she woke up for milk and STARVED TO DEATH. i was gone for about 3 hours...

Dd now 8 months old and im still very pfb! At least i recognise it and laugh at myself Grin

SavoyCabbage · 19/03/2017 11:50

My dh took the day off work to come to dd's first injections. Don't suppose I even bothered to tell him when dd2 went for hers.

Original poster
ForTheSakeOfFuck · 19/03/2017 11:53

Oh god the first injections... I cried WAY more than baby did. Blush

OP posts:
LlandudnoLlandudno · 19/03/2017 13:13

I am struggling to think of any and am massively disappointed! Especially as DS is an only so i could be PFB about him for ever more if I wanted. Must try harder.

Original poster
ForTheSakeOfFuck · 19/03/2017 13:38

This is probably not the time to talk about how we had a relay-team where one of us would change his nappy and the other would quickly microwave his baby wipes for five seconds and then bring them back perfectly warmed so his little bottom wouldn't get a chill, is it...

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 19/03/2017 13:49

Every time my pfb bumps his head on anything, I have to smack my head against it to make sure precious child couldn't possibly concussed himself. I've ended up with far more lumps and bruises than he has Blush. I also get my partner to hold him during injections so he doesn't associate mummy with pain (I know, I'm a cow). I'm actually pretty chilled out (I think), but I hate seeing him hurt in any way.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/03/2017 13:50

I cried when my DS had his first vaccinations too. The nurse was lovely about it but I felt like such a ninny.

HighwayDragon1 · 19/03/2017 14:00

I squirted 'no more tears' shampoo directly in to my eye to see if it would hurt my precious baby.

I genuinely thought I'd blinded myself...

Despairbunny · 19/03/2017 14:01

HighwayDragon ME TOO!

"No more tears" my arse.

Despairbunny · 19/03/2017 14:03

My worst PFB moments:

• When I walked about a mile & a half home from town, pulling ds' pram behind me so he wouldn't get sun in his eyes.
• Afore-mentioned baby shampoo incident.
• Called out the HV because he had the smallest (I'm talking a fraction of a mm!) cut on his finger.
• Took him to A&E for teething fever. Blush (possibly my worst).

Thank god I was waaaaaaay more chilled with dd! Confused

Soubriquet · 19/03/2017 14:04

My worst was writing out instructions on how to make a bottle for my MIL..

Apart from that I was pretty laid back

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 19/03/2017 14:08

DD is 2 and not allowed fruit juice or refined sugar except on special occasions.

DH and I still warm her wipes she will be toilet training soon

Meh. She is loved and all these things are just expressions of that.

Original poster
ForTheSakeOfFuck · 19/03/2017 14:11

OMG EdmundCleverClogs I just laughed so hard my squished bladder gave up on me. Eighteenth pants change of the day coming up. (Thanks twins.) And I too did the, "Here, daddy, YOU hold him still for those massive stabby needles. You do it so much better than I do!"

And noted re the No More Tears. So much for truth in advertising?!

Despairbunny Ours managed to slice his teeny tiny finger open on something when he was about six months old. I sat for maybe half an hour, fashioning a perfect miniscule finger-dressing out of multiple plasters and a tiny dab of antiseptic cream. When he promptly tore it off, I went through the whole process again and then tried to fix a glove over his hand so it'd stay on. He tore both off in under five seconds. The cut had stopped bleeding probably an hour ago at this point.

OP posts:
Despairbunny · 19/03/2017 14:14

THERE WAS BLOOD! I PANICKED!

(Every now & then I wake up at some ungodly wee small hour & cringe)

OuchLegoHurts · 19/03/2017 14:25

Warming baby wipes????!!!!!

AbernathysFringe · 19/03/2017 14:27

That sounds like a great nursery book OP! Wonder if my one will do this when I start dd.
Don't buy into the whole PFB thing unless you're stopping them from doing normal things because you're so nervous and clingy. Otherwise it's just caring which is surely a good thing. Ridiculing it makes me think of schools where it's not cool to be clever, peer pressure to be worse at your job.

PixieMiss · 19/03/2017 14:37

Anyone remember the poster who took her coat off because she had read that the baby should be wearing one more layer than her?

I still laugh when I think of it Grin

Mrsemcgregor · 19/03/2017 14:49

One morning when I undressed DS1 when he was about 18m I noticed he had managed to get his toe caught at an awkward angle inside his sock and onesie. It was all red and slightly bruised. I freaked the fuck out. Called my mum in such a panic she honestly thought he had died. Got my DH home from work and took him to A&E for an X-ray Blush

Turns out he had probably dislocated it and popped it back in whilst squirming in his sleep leaving a small amount of swelling.

Worst thing was he had woken up crying in the night and I just soothed him back to sleep. I still feel slightly guilty I didn't do a full body check for injuries and notice it sooner.

Rosieposy4 · 19/03/2017 14:52

Was on my way out of nursery rushing for work, having dropped off DC1 aged 4, dc2 aged 2 1/2 and baby dc3 aged six months ( detail to illustrate it was very hard to get to work on time and i was always short on time). I saw a boy in dc1s group go rushing in brandishing a power rangers play weapon. I lept out of my car, returned to nursery and insited on speaking to the owner to check that childs weapon would be removed as I didn't want dc1 exposed to such violence and commercial violation.
PFB is now 24, i still cringe when i remember this morsel. Nusery owner was lovely btw. 😳

Original poster
ForTheSakeOfFuck · 19/03/2017 14:53

Lego You have to do it right though. If you warm up another set straight after, they need waving for about three seconds to make sure they're not too warm. It's a very fine art.

In addition, for the first year we used three different bath thermometers on the same bath water to triangulate the temperature in case one had a manufacturing defect and wasn't giving out the right reading. We're now down to just the one that we trust, but we occasionally check it against another to make sure it hasn't lost its calibration with age and use.

On the bright side (maybe) I'm not averse to letting him chuck himself off things - obviously not skyscrapers - so that he will learn things like gravity and the ground and how the two together can be arseholes. I'll warn him, tell him he can still go ahead if he must, and will then scoop him up if he faceplants. Daddy is more the one who will actively intervene to stop the accident from happening at all. So maybe I am not a totally hopeless case. I'm not sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForTheSakeOfFuck · 19/03/2017 14:54

Oh god, Pixie, that's beautiful. I want to give whoever that is a hug, from one basketcase to another.

OP posts:
KatieScarlett · 19/03/2017 14:56

Oh no, can't believe I'm confessing this but...
I only took DD for her injections once. After that I got my MIL to take her (and DS) so they wouldn't associate mummy with pain. Blush
I was working but could have got the time off.
The. Shame.
(Ought to have NC'd but I deserve the scorn).
They are very grown up now but that is my biggest and most cringeworthy parenting fail.

percythepenguin · 19/03/2017 14:56

When DS1 started nursery school his 'all about me' book asked for foods he liked, I listed a few including broccoli, DH read over it and complained that I was 'selling him short because he likes lots of veg, not just broccoli!'

enchantmentandlove · 19/03/2017 15:01

DD is 9 months, and I fully admit I can be quite pfb with her.

Any time she bumps her head on something, I bump my head on it too to see how much it hurt her.
I often awkwardly stand to make a shadow for her when she's in the buggy, to keep the sun out of her eyes.
I want to buy her baby knee pads as she's crawling now, and sometimes gets red knees (dh understandably thinks this is ridiculous!).
If she wakes in the night but isn't crying, I still sit awake in the landing until she's gone back to sleep, just in case she cries.

...there are probably way more I cant think of right now!

Annie592 · 19/03/2017 15:03

Pixie that one is my all time favourite! My Mum laughed at me for having a bath thermometer at all, so I'm going to tell her about your 3 FTSOF. OP I know I will be exactly the same- and I think it's lovely! Good luck with the twins!!