PFB confessions...

[ForTheSakeOfFuck]

Just filled in PFB's "All about me" booklet for starting preschool in five weeks. It has a double-page spread for family photos - comfortably fits about four. I've painstakingly wedged in eleven. PFB grinning. PFB dancing. PFB shoveling food in his face. Then there're sections for writing about what PFB loves, hates, and is good at, word clouds to circle about his personality, tick boxes for how he learns/explores, all that kind of thing. Overall, I have pored over every question and written a carefully considered thesis. The staff going to take one leaf through this and make some (probably fairly accurate) conclusions. And yet, I cannot stop myself. In fact, I am ready to burst into tears at the very thought of taking him in on his first day with his little book all about him clutched in his hands.

Please cheer me up and tell me I'm not the only one who has done/is doing stuff like this. What's your most OTT PFB moment?

(PS. We have twins on the way so I imagine three years from now I'll be howling with laughter at my current self.)

I've cried at all of his jabs so far (8, 12, and 16 weeks). I've stood in front of the pram to keep the sun out of his eyes.

My Mum is worse than me though- DS, her precious firsf grandchild, is sympathised with when he's shocked by cold nappy wipes (she wants to buy him a wipe warmer). Bless her.

I only really remember one PFB. I had twins and one was up one night almost constantly when they were 6 weeks old, turned out she was allergic to her milk. Anyway I spent the whole night rocking her and holding her up. The next day I cried and cried because until then I'd been pretty religious about holding them for the same amount of time so they didn't think I had a favourite and I was dreading the idea of staying up all night that night to do the same with the other one. Thankfully my SIL kindly offered to stay up with DD1 - it was several months before I realised and was able to laugh at her confession that, no, she hadn't stayed up all night rocking a sleeping baby.

I was quite neurotic about several things - recording feeds, naps, nappies etc, but I put that down to the pressure I felt under (my parents were abusive - I was terrified I'd either be a shit parent like them or SS would swoop in and take them away just in case anyway).

Ditzy. Thank you. So glad I am not alone on the monitor.

I've done and still do some of these...

I've used my body/my DH to protect DD from the sun.

My DH sat in the back of the car with her for months. Still does sometimes, even if it's a quick run to the local Tesco.

I used to change her babygrow every night. She would wear a fresh vest/babygrow every single night after her bath.

Before we bought a baby monitor either DH or myself used to stay on the bed next to peacefully asleep DD, just in case.

I had an app with a detailed log of feeds (detailing each boob and duration), nappies (wet or soiled) and sleep times.

Probably the worst is that when we go visit my DF I ask him to not to watch crime investigation programs when the baby is around, because of the violent images and language.
He now watches National Geographic instead. Bless him.

When DD was 7 months old we took her to the doctor...because she shivered. It was January. And we had just come from 3 months of living in the piping hot North American desert, to MIL's house in the North West where she doesn't put the heating on. So rather than putting the shivering down to DD being a bit chilly, we naturally thought she had an aneurysm

I still admire the GP for not calling us time wasting twats. Instead he checked DD over and gave us a very diplomatic talk about how everything can be scary as first time parents but try not to worry too much etc

There is a wonderful PFB thread somewhere in classics. My personal favourite was the mnetter who was due to go on holiday abroad, but as they weren't sure how well PFB would travel they all did a practice flight from London to Manchester (or somewhere) first...

My DD is only 5 months and I already cringe at all of my PFB moments.

For the first 2 or so months, I was obsessed - and I mean obsessed - with the temperature of the bedroom.

I was convinced she'd be far too hot and then when it dropped the tiniest amount, I was convinced she'd freeze.

One night, I actually took her out of her moses basket and cuddled her for hours so she would be warm enough. The room really wasn't cold.

The gro egg is a blessing and a curse for me.

I still do the clean babygro every night thing, Licking, with DC2 at 9 months. Is this not normal? Have I been unnecessarily adding extra clothes to my laundry all this time?

It's stopping tonight!

What is PFB please? Pretty first baby?

I did clean babygrows as my DCs always had breakfast in them and it got messy. Once they were in PJs then it stopped. not because they stopped having a bath every night oh no

I once read Wind in the Willows to my PFB 6 month old. I missed out the bit with the weasels because it might scare him...

Probably because I have a newborn and am more hormonal than usual but I'm honestly tearing up at all these precious and much loved little babies. sniff

pleasenomore the moment of revelation for us was when we had some friends over and their 12 month old wore the same babygro for 3 nights in a row! I was

My friend said "do you change your pjs daily?. Same with the little one".

I now change it every 2-3 nights. Is she has been sweating or there any leaks then of course if goes in the wash inmediately.

Your laundry won't go down though... we have an almost 10 month DD and weaning is a messy affair as you probably know

I just remembered another one... probably my worst best PFB moment.

During last summer's heatwave I actually stayed up all night one time because it was so hot in our room I was scared PFB would dangerously overheat.

I'm, as PP, obsessed with room temperature/her temperature

I made everyone sing happy birthday in a whisper on DD1's first birthday incase she got frightened.

They all did it!

Joystir59 PFB = precious first born

Joystir What Zebra said. PFB is more a crazed state of mind than an absolute rule. Some parents are a little less, er, frenetic, and don't go through (much) of this. Others have this with every single baby, from first to last. Those people, like me, would literally move the sun to one side to stop too much sunshine getting into their PFB's face. To hell with the resulting apocalypse and tsunamis and half the planet bursting into flames. MY BABY'S LITTLE DELICATE EYES DAMMIT.

I have just shamefully remembered another. Sliced up an avocado for PFB one day, happened to get a bit on my palm, licked it off, and it tasted disgusting. Like a pesticide-filled, chemically poisonous death-hazard that burned my tongue and I couldn't get the taste out for well over an hour. I was utterly horrified, dashed to my laptop, and started sending emails to various medical testing facilities and university laboratories asking if they would test the offending fruit to see what I had almost poisoned my beautiful baby on. I offered to drive however far was necessary to drop the avocado off. They need only give me the nod. It only occurred to me later that afternoon that I had, moments earlier, been rooting through the dishwasher tablet box and likely had powder all over my hands. To properly confirm my suspicions, I even went, unwrapped a dishwasher tablet, and licked it. I do not recommend this at all. Exactly the same taste, and I probably burned away a few more tastebuds at the same time. (Also yes, a big black mark for mummy there since I'd not washed my hands before prepping food.)

Oh, and strangely, none of the labs ever replied.

Thank god.

These are hilariously cute!!!
I can't think of any , only got a bit OTT with cleanness to make bottles, I can't think of anything else... But I am way more relaxed with DS now!

Panicked at 4 days old that she wasn't being stimulated properly when she opened her eyes, so made my husband print off lots of black and white patterns and propped them up around her Moses basket.

We did the record every feed - we defended it using the fact we were so sleep deprived we were worried we'd overfeed him (he would eat till he threw up otherwise). Cleaning out MIL stuff during house move, we discovered the feeding diary she'd kept with DH. Which made us feel slightly less precious about it.

This wasn't me, but my friend, honest. When their PFB was a baby she couldn't sleep one evening, and was suffering from what seemed to be repeated small fits, was convulsing and making strange noises. The parents called the NHS helpline but weren't happy with the advice they got. They got in the car and drove to A&E. Where the doctors diagnosed the baby with .... hiccups.

Oh I remember one!
I was sooo worried that DD wasn't eating enough, she hardly ever finished a bottle. She had rolls of chubs in arms legs, chubby rosy cheeks... On a dr visit (I hope I didn't make the appointment because she wasn't eating can't remember) I told him my concerns... He looked at me as if I was bonkers and said "she doesn't look like she's wasting away". And that's it. I was not impressed.
Now I am very embarrassed about it!

It's not normal to sit in the back of a car with your baby?! I still do this at one!! Ah shit. I've joined the over bearing mothers group haven't I.

🙄

Still laughing about warming baby wipes, seriously never heard of anyone doing that before!

I remembered another! Having finally given into CBeebies I felt that I could still claw back some excellence…

I would only let my PFB watch CBeebies with subtitles on, so that her literacy got some work whilst the TV was on.

She was 5 months old.