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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feed the vegan child cheese

371 replies

cheesyinkent · 17/03/2017 20:00

NC for this to not out myself. DS 8 has a friend coming round for tea next week. The mother has stressed very heavily that he is vegan, can't touch any dairy or meat as it will make him very unwell. However ds says his favourite food is normal cheese and cheesy pizza. Apparently he has it all the time when away from his DM.

Who do I follow? I've looked in asda and could only find one vegan cheese, it didn't look like the pizza kind - more a spreadable cream cheese thing.

OP posts:

Damselindestress · 17/03/2017 20:47

Sainsbury's do a selection of vegan cheeses at their larger stores, including a grated one that can easily be sprinkled on pizza. Or just serve something different, how difficult is it to make pasta with a tomato based sauce or a jacket potato and beans? Vegan doesn't have to mean weird or complicated. I do think you should listen to the mother's instructions, how awful would you feel if he got ill? When he says he eats pizza he might be referring to vegan alternatives or just saying that to fit in with his friends or he might eat it and then get ill afterwards.

1horatio · 17/03/2017 20:47

Plus, is the boy vegan for ethical reasons or...?

Maybe he gets migraines or has food allergies. If ethics aren't involved then the vegan cheese (or "plantbased", I suppose) certainly doesn't need to be more ethical than any other normal dairy product...

SpiritedLondon · 17/03/2017 20:47

Speaking as a meat eater I'm bemused by these " poor child" comments as if he's having to sleep in a cupboard under the stairs. He's not deprived he just doesn't eat animals/ animal products. I would probably make the pizza since pizza making is fun and pretty easy dough to make but burritos area good solution if you can handle a few different fillings for everyone. Check out the Thug Kitchen for ideas if you don't mind the swearing!

Ellieboolou27 · 17/03/2017 20:47

I have upmost respect for vegans, even though I'm a meat / dairy eater.

I think it's very ignorant to feel sorry for him!

Plenty of other alternatives and it's not like your fostering the boy, it's one meal, one play date

tillytown · 17/03/2017 20:48

Haven't read the whole post yet so don't know if someone has already mentioned it, but Sainsburys free-from cheese (in the green packet) is vegan and cuts/melts/cooks like normal dairy cheese

streetch · 17/03/2017 20:51

That's your opinion and what works for you Talk1npeace which is fine but you don't speak for all vegans. Some of the substitutes are actually really nice and I'm glad the choice is there for can't be arsed days.

OneSecondAfter · 17/03/2017 20:53

The mother stressed very heavily that she wants him to eat vegan food only. It's one meal for you. If you can't follow her wishes for one flipping meal, then it's purely because of your own hang-ups with people choosing certain diets for their children, and you would be VVVVVVVVU.

joystir59 · 17/03/2017 20:53

Cheap pizza base, tomato sauce and vegan cheese- voila! Everyone can have delicious pizza.

TheOnlyColditz · 17/03/2017 20:56

Look I fundementally disagree with veganism, but the mother has told you he will be ill if he eats meat or dairy. You'd have to be a special sort of hardnosed dickhead to go against her wishes here.

get some vegan cheese stuff, grate it and make some pizza bases, chop some nice veg (sweetcorn works well) and make a tomato base. The kids loves pizza so much, he will go nutso for making his own, they all do. if you just keep it all vegan, there is no need at all for anyone to feel sad or left out.

user789653241 · 17/03/2017 20:58

Sorry, havent read whole thread.
Tesco does block soya cheese. We use it for child with milk allergy.
You can grate it like normal cheese.

1horatio · 17/03/2017 20:58

And anyhow, if this is about an allergy/intolerance? The ethics don't matter.

So, buy whatever cheese you can find (As long as it's plantbased) and carry on.

Zararose88 · 17/03/2017 20:58

Veganism isn't really a restrictive diet. I'd feel sorry for those kids who are forced to eat the flesh of dead animals!

Please do not give a vegan child non vegan food, it's just plain wrong and disrespectful.

lavenderandrose · 17/03/2017 20:58

Why, TheOnly? At the risk of starting a bunfight, veganism only has positive benefits for the environment and the animals in it.

EnormousTiger · 17/03/2017 20:58

My vegan son is cooking his pizza at the moment actually. He buys the pizza base and then puts on loads of lovely veg (no cheese of any kind).

hellejuice91 · 17/03/2017 21:01

I wouldn't give the child cheese, you could potentially be causing yourself quite a lot of grief if the mother found out

AbernathysFringe · 17/03/2017 21:01

It's not that hard to find vegan food/cook something. Google works wonders.
Also, infuriating the 'forced on him' comments. As if you don't make choices for your child every day of their lives, which is your job, including what you cook for them. Ethical choices as well as logical ones. An 8 year old might not yet be old enough to be told or shown the reasons for ethical veganism.

misscarlar · 17/03/2017 21:02

Tesco do vegan cheese slices that can go on pizza

SJD25 · 17/03/2017 21:04

If someone fed my child something I'd asked them not to, especially something that went against my morals and beliefs, I'd be right round there giving them more than a piece of my mind!!!! What a ridiculous question!!!! Just do a pizza without cheese if neccesary or avoid pizza all together!

WyfOfBathe · 17/03/2017 21:05

You need to do what the mother says at this age. One of my 8/9 year old Brownies insisted her parents let her eat things which said "may contain X" when she was allergic to X. I refused to let her and checked with the dad at the end, who was horrified that she'd said that because it could cause her anaphylactic shock!

Once they're teenagers, I would expect them to know all their own allergies and to be able to make their own decisions about their diet.

shakeyospeare · 17/03/2017 21:07

If you feel that strongly about it, you should cancel the friend coming over.

It's not your choice whether or not this child can eat cheese if he's vegan - he's 8 and his mum has said that dairy and meat make him ill. Why would you even be questioning this?

If one of my children went to someone's house for tea and they were fed normal cheese or given meat or dairy, I would be very unhappy and it would more than likely make them ill.

Don't do it. If you can't be bothered with cooking a special meal for one person, you need to cancel. If you are going to actually listen to his mum's instructions but don't want to make vegan pizza, just do spaghetti and chopped tomatoes for the world's most simple and easy vegan meal.

Give a vegan cheese because you can't be arsed with making a separate meal...

haveacupoftea · 17/03/2017 21:08

Not only would i be making a vegan cheese pizza, i'd be telling the mum what the boys are saying so that she knows what she's up against if he goes to play in someone else's house.

lavenderandrose · 17/03/2017 21:10

I think it's fairly clear that some people do disapprove of veganism (why I won't pretend to understand) and like to try to lure people away from it, usually with bacon if the individual is vegetarian or with cheese if vegan. It has little, if anything, to do with whether people can be "bothered" - it's about control.

As I said, it's a wanker thing to do.

Sisinisawa · 17/03/2017 21:10

This is the cheese zizzi put in their vegan pizzas. It melts and is amazing. Get some of that.
www.mozzarisella.co.uk/store-finder/

Mummysh0rtlegs · 17/03/2017 21:14

My boys can't have dairy so we buy violife from Tesco it is a block cheese with the free from stuff, it grates and melts and is absolutely fine. It doesn't have to be a big deal, honestly.

1horatio · 17/03/2017 21:18

Not only would i be making a vegan cheese pizza, i'd be telling the mum what the boys are saying so that she knows what she's up against if he goes to play in someone else's house.

Yup!!

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