To feed the vegan child cheese

[cheesyinkent]

NC for this to not out myself. DS 8 has a friend coming round for tea next week. The mother has stressed very heavily that he is vegan, can't touch any dairy or meat as it will make him very unwell. However ds says his favourite food is normal cheese and cheesy pizza. Apparently he has it all the time when away from his DM.

Who do I follow? I've looked in asda and could only find one vegan cheese, it didn't look like the pizza kind - more a spreadable cream cheese thing.

The mother how annoyed would you be if shoe was on other foot? And what about if he is sick as a result how would you feel?

So if your DD came to my house and I gave her some coconut milk just cause she asked...it would be fine cause she's her own person.

Follow what the mum says. What he thinks is normal cheese may not actually be. I used to insist that I loved sausages as a child. Actually I hated sausages and what I loved were Saveloys. But at 9 years old I tended to confuse things.

Although in response to another poster I actually WAS allowed to watch some 18 rated films and try a bit of my dad's beer from as young as I can remember. My favourite films as a child were mostly 15's with the odd 18 appearing once I was into double figures. (10+) My 10/11 year old self had rather a fondness for Scream, which despite it's hilariously terrible writing, did thoroughly earn it's rating in blood and violence. Some children aren't actually lying when they say that kind of thing.

Of course vegan food can be delicious. Of course many of us eat vegan meals every day, even though we are not restrictive.
But it is a restrictive diet. And I think it is unfair to feed a child a diet that could mean they lose the ability to process lactose, and thus have no choice about their diet as adults.

Tesco do a hard vegan cheese that you can grate onto homemade pizza. Don't go against his mums wishes, it would be wrong to do so and she may never allow her son to come to your house again if she finds out. Tbh you could all try it it's not bad at all and no I'm not vegan myself but a friend is.

cheesyinkent "I know you are all right. I just feel sad for the child, now I'm worried that it was the main reason he wanted to come for dinner and ds has been saying we'll have pizza"

Please do not give this child anything his mum has said he cannot have, you could make him very unwell and the other mum would be totally right to be furious with you.

You could spoil your son's friendship with this child all because you think you know better than his own mum! Plus he could have raging diarrhea in your house before he even leaves!

I know that we do not know the child has lactose intolerance but if he does then you need to be aware how this could affect the child.

www.healthline.com/symptom/lactose-intolerance

"Lactose intolerance usually causes gastrointestinal symptoms, such as gas, bloating, and diarrhea, about 30 minutes to two hours after ingesting milk or other dairy products containing lactose. People who are lactose intolerant may need to avoid eating these products or take medicines containing the lactase enzyme before doing so."

Please do not assume your son's only charms are a mum who makes pizza!

I really want fajitas now

sharktoothcushion "I would get a store bought pizza and make a vegan one, place both in the middle of the table and walk out of the room for a bit.

Obviously let the child know which is vegan and which isn't, and acted oh so shocked when pals friend hasn't eaten any of the vegan...

Of mum complains at least you offered a choice!"

What shockingly irresponsible advice. Maybe if the child has raging diarrhea or has to go to hospital as a result you would not feel quite so cocky!

OP I would go for a plain pizza base with a baked bean topping! Most kids like baked beans and they kind of have the same quality as melted cheese in this context, they are almost liquid but not quite and spread over the hard base have the effect of making it softer!

In your shoes I'd aim to wow with the dessert, I'd ask the mum what desserts he likes and is allowed. I'd either make a vegan cake or buy something, I am a hopeless baker!

Maybe Google '40 Vegan Desserts Even Non-Vegans Will Love' and 'The 30 Most Popular Vegan Desserts of 2016'

They do seem to have a delight for coconut so I know you may well not like all these but they could be adapted. You could even invent a vegan, coconut free sweet pizza!

What a dilemma. One vegan meal for one child on a one off occasion. How hard can it be? Stop judging"why" he might be a vegan (absolutely none of your business) and give him vegan pizza. There's enough ideas on this thread to manage this pretty easily.

I fundementally disagree with veganism

What the fuck how??

And what was there before the coconut planation jeez love same can be said of any food we grow to eat couldn't it. Unless you're foraging wild mushrooms and picking your dinner off a wild bush.

And no, you really shouldn't give the kid cheese.

Has your son actually seen him eating cheese and cheese pizza? At that age he's probably just realised his vegan diet makes him a bit different, and he may just be pretending he also eats 'normal' foods to fit in better.

I fundementally disagree with veganism

Maybe that person simply associates veganism with people that talk about how speciecist meat consumption is, how for example cattle farming is like slavery and rape.
Or associates it with militant activists that think violence is an answer.

There are enough vocal vegans like that to do a lot of damage to the image of this lifestyle.

lavender, I did qualify it by saying 'if true'.

onesecond, don't be facetious. There is a big difference between giving children things which are actively harmful and restricting their diet for no other reason than your personal preference.

I disagree with the comparison with Islam too. A Muslim would sincerely believe that that their child had gone one step closer to eternal damnation for that bacon sandwich. The other boys Mum would just be cross.

There is a big difference between giving children things which are actively harmful and restricting their diet for no other reason than your personal preference.

Yes. But I don't think it's any different than making a child eat kosher. Or halal. Or somebody that's a 7th day adventist.

And yet people always seem particularly upset about vegetarians/vegans.

Because bringing up a child vegan can make them lactose intolerant

But if a child was questioning halal or kosher there would come a point where you'd have to listen to their views. Maybe not at 8, because if you believe in a religion you believe that the consequences are going to be a hell of a lot more severe than the consequences for a vegan eating cheese (as far as I know PETA have not yet claimed that they have mastered the art of doling out eternal damnation to people who eat yogurts).

I just feel really sorry for any child whose parents think that their non-religious principles are more important than listening to their kid.

That's an awful suggestion. A parent makes the choices they believe are right for their child. You don't have the right to undermine them.

I didn't know that brasty.

Awesome. A veganism thread! I always find these threads fascinating, as a child who was brought up vegan, (and er, still is). Were my friends' parents as desperate for me to accept their offers of non-vegan food as today's MNers are, and I just didn't pick up on it?

They must have been so disappointed. The world and her bessie mate all claim to know a vegan child who wolfs down bacon on the sly, and there I was, saying, "no thank you" or "only ready salted crisps please". Sadly, as I said, never picked up on it at the time.

Anyway I'm researching vegan pizza we can't have coconut products due to an allergy with dd so looks like many are not suitable.

OP:
So presumably if your child gets invited around to the vegan kid's house you wouldn't mind if the mother fed your DC Coconut because she felt sorry for him not being able to eat it???... Since you seem quite happy to feed her DS dairy which will make him ill!!

HYPOCRITICAL, no?

Seriously OP, you're asking if you can feed someone else's child a food which might kill / hospitalise them and you're not sure if YABU?!

I fundementally disagree with veganism

Why?

I don't understand how you can "disagree" with another persons dietary choice any more than you could "disagree" with their choice of car or colour of underpants? Surely it's just something that you don't want to do yourself or that you don't believe the logic behind their decision is valid. I mean, you may think that someone who chooses to drive a convertible in the rain is an idiot or whatever, but surely you don't "disagree" with them doing so?

OP I have an 8yo DS who doesn't have dairy. Same reason really - it can make him really unwell. He's been telling the school kitchen staff for months that 'he has pizza and cheese and and milk and chocolate at home". Only thing is all of the above he has at home are usually dairy free too!

Of course you should follow the Mother! We often go for vegan treats when out because I know it's not going to affect him, bot because we're precious or anything.

Holland and Barrett do a nice vegan range of cheese and puddings etc but if that's a bit out of your price league; tescos sells the violife cheese.

Unless you let your kid eat nothing but sweets and ice cream all day you are restricting their dietary choice! To a kid, "because it's unhealthy" is probably as frustrating as "because we don't eat it".

Personally I feel more sorry for kids whose diet is chips, sausage and beans!