To feed the vegan child cheese

[cheesyinkent]

NC for this to not out myself. DS 8 has a friend coming round for tea next week. The mother has stressed very heavily that he is vegan, can't touch any dairy or meat as it will make him very unwell. However ds says his favourite food is normal cheese and cheesy pizza. Apparently he has it all the time when away from his DM.

Who do I follow? I've looked in asda and could only find one vegan cheese, it didn't look like the pizza kind - more a spreadable cream cheese thing.

I don't get why the hate towards vegans. So what if some vegans eat oysters or drink wine or wear leather shoes, they aren't vegan enough for you?

Well yes, they aren't vegan enough when they aren't vegan.

I don't hate vegans. I couldn't care less what anyone eats. I do get irritated when people use language in completely wrong ways to make their points or serve their cause. You aren't a vegetarian if you eat fish, you aren't a vegan if you eat oysters, you can't appropriate labels you aren't entitled to.

Thats why lack of respect. I respect causes, choices, whatever you want for yourself. I don't respect liars and people who pretend to be what they aren't.

Of course it's not true. But try googling "are oysters..." and the first hit that comes up is "are oysters vegan".

Well that doesn't mean that it's vegans googling it! I just googled "are oysters"...and here were the options (in order):
alive
Halal
vegan
animals
good for you
cooked
sentient
fish

Are oysters ALIVE?! Who the heck asks THAT dumb question!?

Well that doesn't mean that it's vegans googling it! I just googled "are oysters"

No, not necessarily, but reading some of the results you get ARE about vegans who think they can eat oysters.

Spartacus fair enough

"Are oysters alive?" might be something someone googled to find out if they're alive when you eat them.

The cousin and his wife I mentioned above ate oysters with my DH and was shocked when DH told them they were alive.

Of all the things you could eat and still claim to be vegan, an animal that's still alive when you eat it has to be the must shocking.

vegans who think they can eat oysters.

I cannot understand how a "vegan" could think they can eat oysters. I've never come across anyone on any vegan forum mentioning eating oysters or questioning whether or not they should.

here

My cousin and his wife and American. It's definitely a thing there.

@ALittleMop - the OP's dd is allergic to coconut, so the Violife may not be the best option.

herewegoround I don't think you'll get anywhere with that. Some people are determined to undermine vegans.

I'm a vegan. I don't eat oysters, I don't use leather I don't use products with plastic or palm oil.

The oyster thing is a genuine debate. Here's a link I posted earlier for people who seem to have missed it (or are only interested in promoting their own point of view).

sentientist.org/2013/05/20/the-ethical-case-for-eating-oysters-and-mussels/

I don't see why people can't respect legitimate choice. The mother has asked that you don't do something for one day, she hasn't called you an animal killing fiend or demanded you stop eating what you want to eat.
Why so little respect?

Totally agree. Is it really so hard to respect the mother's choice for her child?

And the Oysters thing is just irrelevant! Who cares?

Not really, I'm a level 1 barely-vegan vegan - I switched nearly a year ago but with the rule that I wouldn't throw away things that were still good. Things like shower gels were replaced within a month or so, but other things take longer - last week my old leather shoes wore out and I replaced them with vegan ones, but my leather bag is still good and likely to be so for years.

If that makes me a "liar" according to the puritans and Spartacus then that's fine with me, but if I'm asked for dietary requirements people want to know what I eat, not my life history, so I'll say vegan.

I don't eat oysters though

I find the gluten thing more awkward than avoiding dairy - no flour-thickened sauces or gravies

Most people who need to avoid gluten can safely eat cornflour, which has the benefit of being finer and therefore smoother in use. You can't add it to hot food though unlike wheat flour so you need to mix it with a splash of water before adding it to the stew etc.

I have always hated gravy even as a child so that's not a problem for me and I don't like sauces so dead easy.

My vegan children do not eat oysters.

Most of us change how we eat over the years from time to time. Mind you my whole life I been pretty consistent in hating and never having gravy or tomato sauce or tomato products of any kind.

And the Oysters thing is just irrelevant! Who cares?

I disagree. I wouldn't call someone who eats oysters a vegan, especially for the reasons some people give for doing so, but I think it's important to keep the debate open so myths can be debunked.

Pretty sure some people think the child's legitimate choice should be respected when it's their body. I don't personally agree, not in this scenario with a primary aged child and a potential dairy intolerance, but there are clearly arguments for legitimate choice on either side.

I care if people are claiming to eat oysters and be vegan, the 2 claims contradict each other.

It's not like I can claim to be a supermodel and look like the bulldog chewing a wasp, is it?

Spartacus, have you read the link?

There are reasons why some people believe eating oysters can be a valid part of a vegan diet. It's a debate, it's not clear cut. You can choose to disagree with their reasons.

It's not people "claiming to eat oysters and be vegan" it's "vegans believing oysters are compatible with a vegan diet."

Yes, I read it. And its a very silly debate, it is absolutely clear cut.
I don't choose to disagree, I can just say they are very obviously wrong.

Unless you're attempting to argue that oysters are in fact plants?

I'm not arguing anything. I'm not a vegan and I'm not planning to eat oysters.

But I think the reasons are interesting and I don't think it's as clear cut as, say, people who claim to be vegetarian and eat fish. Which is obviously nonsense.

Vegans put a lot of thought into their diet - some obviously agree with you and others don't. But if you choose to be vegan for ethical and environmental reasons, then I can see the arguments both ways.

Personally I don't call myself vegan (despite not eating meat, dairy or eggs, wearing leather, wool etc) because of silly nit-picking about the letter of the label. I'm concerned about reducing suffering and the environmental harm of farming. I'm not worried about harming something that cannot think to feel. Bivalves are closer to a Venus fly trap than a cow - they might technically fall under the animal descriptor but without a brain or nervous system I don't see eating them as much different to 'killing' a plant to eat.

But I think the reasons are interesting and I don't think it's as clear cut as, say, people who claim to be vegetarian and eat fish. Which is obviously nonsense

You can think that, your business. It's still obviously nonsense though.

My DM ignored my DD's intolerance of eggs because 'she loved scrambled eggs so much'.
It was heartbreaking dealing with the cracked, weeping skin that resulted. It also gave her awful constipation.
Children with intolerances rarely make good food choices, because they learn to tolerate the symptoms. Forbidden foods are exciting.
If the child is intolerant, they will know that you chose to ignore them. Please don't risk it.

Spartacus you're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine. Have a lovely weekend, love.

Sure, but you're not entitled to your own facts, and oysters aren't plants.

Vegans don't eat oysters isn't an opinion, its a fact.

I will, you too!