To feed the vegan child cheese

[cheesyinkent]

NC for this to not out myself. DS 8 has a friend coming round for tea next week. The mother has stressed very heavily that he is vegan, can't touch any dairy or meat as it will make him very unwell. However ds says his favourite food is normal cheese and cheesy pizza. Apparently he has it all the time when away from his DM.

Who do I follow? I've looked in asda and could only find one vegan cheese, it didn't look like the pizza kind - more a spreadable cream cheese thing.

So many judgemental posts on here!

Being vegan can be perfectly healthy - probably better for you than diets filled with animal fats and protein, which studies - extensive studies - have linked to serious health problems. Take a look at The China Study.

Raising your child as vegan is only as controlling as raising them to eat meat and dairy - it's a parenting choice not your business.

I honestly can't believe some of the ignorance being parroted on here. Do some research before posting tired old cliches about vegans and vegan children.

Wow at the poster calling me lazy! I'm about to make my second special trip to find a vegan cheese, because I'm so lazy and I haven't gone to any effort to get advice on the matter...

My DD knows not to have coconut and is very cautious, the opposite of this child who seems to be asking for normal cheese. Anyway even though I'm sceptical if it really makes him unwell I'll go on the side of caution and not give him any.

I don't understand why you're skeptical though? Why would a mother arbitrarily impose limitations on their child. Even if he's not allergic, if he has kept a strictly vegan diet since birth, eating a cheese pizza will cause him pain.

I find your attitude so bizarre. You're also basing his supposed love of "real cheese" pizza off the word of your child, not him or his mother.

If I asked you not to give my kid a burger i would expect you to respect that regardless of my reasons. What makes you better able to parent this boy than his mother?

Raising your child as vegan is only as controlling as raising them to eat meat and dairy.

Nope. It's as controlling as making them eat meat and dairy when they've expressed a wish not to. A poster earlier mentioned that she went vegetarian at the same age and would have been very upset at being forced to eat meat. I think it's much more akin to that. Even then, I can understand parents who are vegan or meat eaters, saying to their children that they have to eat what is served at home until a certain age because of time/budgetary constraints - but to make it truly comparable you would have to have parents standing over them at parties insisting they had pepperoni pizza and not a baked potato because they weren't allowed vegetarian food.

I really do wonder how people can see imposing unnecessary dietary restrictions on an unwilling child is anything other than control. I'm not talking about children who are willing to do it or need to do it or to whom it would cause harm. But children who just don't want to but aren't being listened to and are being told that there feelings don't matter at all.

*their

Because I know the mother and I know from my ds he has eaten his and others dairy foods. I don't like to judge, but some vegan parents just do say it makes them unwell without ever knowing as they've never knowingly given them dairy.

People asked upthread for some of the ethical reasons people are vegan.

I can add a couple more.

The dairy industry is horrible. Basically all the male dairy calves get either killed after birth or raised in a very cruel way for veal, because obviously they are not able to produce milk.
www.vegansociety.com/go-vegan/dairy-industry

Male chicks bred for the egg industry are also killed after they are born. There is no use for them. Even the ones in higher welfare free-range farms.
www.vegansociety.com/go-vegan/egg-industry

Personally I am not vegan but I do try and minimise my consumption of dairy products.

On, and it goes without saying OP that you should definitely go with the Mum's reasons on this as there could be very good health reasons her child is not allowed dairy.

billsykes the element of "control" is all supposition, probably the OP could solve the problem by having a conversation with the boys mum. Maybe the boy flipping loves being a vegan and OP's son just fancies a pizza 😂

And that Erica Janus video has widely been debunked as misleading in many respects.

Wow, OP - 10 pages of people mainly telling you not to go against the Mum's wishes, and you are still persisting with this.

You don't sound like a very nice person. Really, there's more to life than cheesy fucking pizza.

some vegan parents just do say it makes them unwell without ever knowing as they've never knowingly given them dairy.

Where is your evidence for this?

OP, would you give a jewish or muslim child sausages or ham if they asked for it, if the parents asked you not to because they followed the dietary laws of their religion?

How on earth am I persisting with this? I said on page one I wouldn't and I'm spending a day testing some vegan cheese ffs

OP whether you agree, disagree, hate her guts, think she's a fucking arsehole, or anything else. It is not your place to overrule her.

beached, I have qualified it with 'if true' in every post. And you are right and that is of course exactly why the OP should do what the mother wants and not listen to the word of an 8 year old.

But if it is true I feel very sorry for him. Realising that your parents aren't infallible Gods who never get things wrong and aren't all knowing and challenging their beliefs and testing whether your values are the same is an important part of growing up. I feel very sorry for any child who doesn't feel they can be open with their parents about differences of opinion and have that respected. Be it on food, religion, politics, clothes, whatever.

Why would you do that? How would you feel if someone fed your child their pet cat? I'm not a vegan but I believe in respecting other peoples choices.

Your post at 10:44:10 - you seem to know you've lost the argument but not understand why.

Grumpy

Honestly, anything you can do, no matter how seemingly small, to minimise your consumption of animal products, helps.

Thank you for trying.

Grumpy I've already answered that. Yes I would as I believe once a child is old enough to have their own choice then their parents should respect it even if it's not what they want.

I went to school with someone that wasn't allowed bacon, and they always pigged out on it when they got the chance and has probably given them issues around food for the rest of their life.

How would you feel if someone fed your child their pet cat?

As long as it was presented as the pet cat if my child wants to eat it then it is their choice.

I personally don't get meat eaters that are fine with eating some animals and not others.

billsykes I agree with you, it's bad if Children can't question things like this with their parents, but we don't know much about this situation.

I have a 13year old who has chosen to maintain his veganism, it causes some problems when he wants to eat out with friends etc, but he manages it, because he wants too, not because I'd flip my lid if he didn't.

I also have an 8 year old who follows a vegan diet, but if he chooses not to when he's older I would support his transition to whatever else he wanted for himself, once he's old enough to make the decisions himself.

Not every vegan parent beats veganism into their child. In fact, I don't think many at all would.

once a child is old enough to have their own choice then their parents should respect it even if it's not what they want.

You think that starts at 8 & gives you the theoretical right to override a parent's wishes?

What if the child asked for a beer with their tea? That's "allowed" in the home with parental consent.

lavenderandrose I try to choose the vegan option whenever one is available. I don't impose my own values on the rest of my family but we do eat vegan meals at least twice a week (I do the cooking) and no-one notices or complains!

I think the 'all-or-nothing' stance presented by some vegans is problematic, actually.

OP how would you feel if someone was sceptical about your DD not being allowed coconut?

Always find it astounding how many people think parents shouldn't pass on their ethics to their children.
You teach your children not to hit people, or kick dogs - should they also be free to choose to do these things at 8 years old? How dare you restrict your child by teaching them not to harm other beings! All parents teach children their ethics and morals.

I don't understand why most parents would teach their child not to hit the cat or pull thre dogs tail, but it's totally fine to kill this pig because we want to eat it, when we could easily just eat something else? Surely it makes more sense to teach them 'we don't harm animals unnecessarily' rather than arbitrarily deciding which animals to be nice to and which to harm?