To tell her he's autistic?

[DrivingAndGoogling]

A mum at school always tells me how awkward her boy is. Socially awkward, no friends, doesn't listen etc She tells me every opportunity she gets either at the gates, at parties, play dates etc

For me he's clearly autistic... My boy has autism as well so I know
Do I tell her? She could get the help he needs if she looks into it, but at the moment it seems she's at a loss at what to do
Just to point out that not sure if the school has said anything
I'm not sure I'd appreciate someone telling me something like this for my boy so.... WWYD?

I can indeed

DS1 is Autistic. He's 11 and we've looked at a special school for him a while back. We also looked at a couple of lovely private schools not too far away as we started to think about high school applications. At the moment mainstream is working - and well - but I'm under no illusion that it could change at some point and lead to him needing a place elsewhere. Three of the private schools nearest to us would have been happy to accommodate DS1 if we'd chosen them.

I don't believe for a single second that a private school used the phrase "that sort" to a parent. I know some spectacularly pigheaded people who work in schools and even they wouldn't phrase it like that.

But then I did have that intensive 1 on 1 telepathy training!!

It just occurred to me that we should be joining forces to use this training to influence banks to transfer lots of money into our current accounts!

PovertyPain, I am not fussed if people describe me as autistic or having autism. What I am more concerned about is NTs' ignorance, stereotyping and stupidity about autism.

Whooo My son was four years old when I rang the schools. 11 years ago. And yes, to my dying day, they did say 'their sort'. I do live in the 'shires'.

I don't believe for one second that you have a son who is autistic at 11 and you are looking around for private schools. (how do you feel now?)

I do live in the 'shires'
That always makes me think of The Hobbit - not relevant here I know but I felt the need to share

(Starts sending telepathic signals ' transfer money, transfer money'....)

My child has autism. As you have also been through the diagnostic process, you surely must be aware autism is based on a triad of impairments. Her child may just be shy. Social awkwardness is not a tell tale sign of autism. Some with autism are overly friendly and enthusiastic, just lack the communication skills or social cues needed to make friends. If she is concerned ask her to speak to the school, if not she can self refer to Camhs.

Unless you are a medically qualified professional in this area its laughable and quite frankly disturbing that you say he's clearly autistic.

I've heard that about my dd from well meaning but ignorant parents.

Why don't you suggest they go to see the school nurse?

My child masks beautifully, he's a model pupil. At home, he's a nightmare! All the anger and rigidity he's been holding in all day comes out! However, school don't dispute what I am telling them and are treating him as ASD until told orherwise.

Btw, I know good eye contact doesn't necessarily mean a child isn't autistic, it was just one of a list of reasons I was given to say that my son doesn't fit the criteria. What will be will be, I guess...

PovertyPain
If you want to read up about what are considered ok terms to use for people with Autism then have a look at THIS recent UK study 'Which terms should be used to describe autism? Perspectives from the UK autism community'. It's interesting and looks at which terms the different groups within the 'autism community' prefer to use.

You will see that there is no definitive universally preferred term and that person-first terms such as person with autism are not as popular as you think. Aspie is another term that sometimes gets critiqued on MN but is shown to be endorsed by nearly 40% of people with autism.

The main thing that the study shows is that it's probably best not to get sniffy about terms that other people choose to use

Ugh, sorry for all the typos.

I'm just a bit crap at English.

I refer to my son as an "Aspie" and can't imagine why on earth anybody would have an issue with this. Certainly, nobody I know within the autism community does.

I love "Aspie". It's a special group with exclusive membership

I also love the word Aspire. As my 'stimming' tends to be verbal, that matters to me. And this verbal fluency and obsessiveness is probably why I was diagnosed so late.

My Aspie DS stims with emergency vehicle sounds. I'd challenge anybody to find the difference with actual emergency vehicle sirens! Jessica I take comfort from your post, he is going to be exactly the same...!

Definitely not!! As per other comments she may be trying to seek some advice from you.My son is also autistic but I don't feel as if I can possibly "diagnose" as all autistic children are not the same, just because you think the child has some autistic tendencies,the said child may not even be on the spectrum, I'd keep my mouth firmly closed

School nurses know nothing about asd, only what they come across whilst working in schools same as a teacher really!