Kids no longer taught to clean their plates?

[user1489670695]

It's March break, and I've had a couple of my kids' friends over on and off for meals. (ages 11 and 14)

I've noticed they all seem to serve themselves larger portions than they can actually eat (none of that "plating" nonsense in my house!!), so there's a lot of waste food on their plates. I'd noticed that before too, whenever we had kid guests. Lots of uneaten food on their plates. It doubly annoys me as money is tight, I'm a single mom, shopping for and carrying groceries is hard work, etc etc.

There's not much I guess I can do about it (I compost, so that's a bit better than just trashing it)- but just wanted to rant, and ask if you teach your kids to not waste food?

I was raised up to be very conscientious about wasting food and I always nag at my own kids about serving themselves as much as they can eat and eating it all up. I would have thought, in this day and age, with all the stuff about environment and waste and so on, kids would have been taught to be even more careful with wasting food. But apparently not.

I never make the DCs clear their plates. I was made to and struggled for year not to just shovel food down without thinking simply because I feel I've got to eat it all. Fortunately I've sorted it out now and don't overeat (unless it's a chocolate orange, and that's just common sense to eat it all to stop it going to waste).

I'd rather see my DCs enjoy a healthy diet and learn to stop eating when their bodies are full. I tend to let everyone help themselves from the middle of the table than plate it up, that way everyone can take more or less.

The only thing I do limit is how much fruit DS2 has when he comes home from school; his usually thing is eating lots straight away then being too full for anything at tea time. Everything else I let him self-serve.

What Verbena37 says.

What Verbena37 says.

What Verbena37 says.

What Verbena37 says.

What Verbena37 says.

No way would I let my kids serve themselves.

Last night we had roast venison leg, roast potatoes, Brussels sprouts, and casseroled red cabbage. Everyone got an appropriate amount of each. If the kids had served themselves they would have had some venison, a few sprouts, and tonnes and tonnes of potatoes, which they would have eaten first before declaring that they were full. And perhaps some cabbage.

Everyone cleared their plates apart from one who didn't want the red cabbage. No big deal- I let her leave it.

I don't expect kids to know how to serve themselves a balanced portion of an appropriately sized one. They can tell me if they're not v hungry.

I don't see the need to get the kids into the habit of serving themselves. They will know what they should do from watching me.

Telling a child to finish there plate when they are full is teaching them to egnore their own feelings and emotions. They could then go agaisnt their own instincts in bad situations such as walking away with a stranger because they have told them too. I know its abit over the top but it is right and how would you like to be told to carry on eating even if your body is telling you you cant.

Just ffs.
Maybe you're a crap cook.

Whenever my dc have friends over, I serve them small portions but make it clear there's more if they want. I also hate when kids take big portions and then leave waste

agree with robinia

the custom of plating up was something I had never come across until I moved to the UK and I found it very difficult as it nearly always made me feel pressured to eat more than I wanted

user1489670695 I let my kids serve themselves and usually they take as much as they like and eat it. We do not have much waste. But if they do not want to eat something aside from vegetables I never make them clear their plate. It is still waste, it is just waste in their bodies! So a lot worse.

The only reason I don't consider veg in the same category is because my son has a bit of a veg-aversion.

Plating is helpful.

"How would plating reduce waste? Surely the whole point of letting them serve themselves is to let them serve as much as they can eat? If they are confronted with a plate of pre-served food, then it would be understandable if they couldn't eat it all."

Some kids do not know how much they can manage.

So you serve a small plateful and say, there are seconds (on the table or in the kitchen) if/when you would like more.

"the obesity crisis comes more from the cheap availability of processed, high sugar food than been taught to serve yourself and eat accordingly!"

Obesity is a very, very complex issue. Forcing kids to finish off the food they have on their plates is a really unhelpful contribution to it too, IMHO.

user1489670695 "I never heard of "clearing your plate"- which is practice born out of respect for food and the hard work which goes into producing it- as a contributing factor." have you had counselling for issues related to food? Because I have, and a compulsion to clear away food is a factor for some.

User006point5 "No different to throwing it in the bin! Eh, it's totally different from throwing it in the bin, because the calories, vitamins etc are going to nourish a person, and that person will likely eat less for the next meal."

Actually it is worse than throwing it in the bin because the extra food will encourage that person to eat more next time, so as well as eating up more of the world's resources they will potentially become overweight as well.

"... nag them about leaving a single mouthful of food..."

Please OP stop this now, you are going to screw up their natural ability to eat healthily and give them issues around food which could potentially waste a lot more than your mouthfuls. You sound very unaware of food related issues and that could be harmful.

Some ridiculous posts here, especially the last one.

There's no need to plate, just talk to the children when they sit down at the table. Introduce the food available and ask them to only put on their plates what they can eat. That it's ok to have seconds but same principle applies. Educate them that waste is something to avoid if possible.

I've started to get my children to scrape their leftovers into the compost/wastebin instead of me doing it.
I realised they just didn't know about the impact. Now they are far more conscientious about wasting food than before. Although they still do, at least it is less!

Before plating, I always ask how much he wants to my ds. I don't like wasting. If it's still in the pot, dh can take it for lunch next day.
My dh never take big portion either, he always go for seconds, rather than plating a lot first round.

It's your house, you can warn them before, that they need to finish off what they got on their plate themselves. And they can go for seconds, thirds, if they aren't full yet.

"how can you force anybody to eat what they don't want?"

When I was a child we were made to sit there until we eat it. We used all sorts of tricks to make it look like we'd finished it - down the toilet, in the garden whatever, but we obviously did end up eating a lot of it as we weren't allowed to leave the table otherwise.

I do totally agree that you shouldn't force somebody to eat more than they could. But isn't it equally valuable lesson to learn not to take more than you could eat? This is totally first world problem, and sad to see.

mactavish "Some ridiculous posts here, especially the last one"

Care to say why my post is ridiculous?

Serve small portions. If they want more, they can always have more.

It really isn't that difficult.

I do encourage my kids to finish what's on their plate. They help themselves from central plates and are allowed as much as they want but only if they eat it. Gentle reminders but generally they can mange this at 6 and 4.

Your post seemed entirely sensible to me, @Italiangreyhound!

Me too! I assumed the poster was referring to someone else's post in error!

Talk about making a meal out of dinner time. Putting food in bowls before you put it on the table creates so much extra washing up and hassle.

Just put every ones food, with good potion sizes, on plates and hand it to them.

I don't put it in bowls. Usually I just put all the dishes/saucepans on top of the hob and the kids serve themselves from that.
Sometimes (Sunday lunch) I'll put them on the table. The only time I put the food in new serving dishes is if we are entertaining visitors.

Thank you Evilgenius (great name) and StarlingMurderation. Sadly, I have an eating disorder which seems to be born of quite a number of things and which I am getting help. The main culprit seems to be OCD but certainly my mum's own weird relationship with food may have played a part.

Mum was a big one on finishing everything on the plate.

Anon the bowls thing is so easy, because they are not cooked in those bowls they are easy to clean and if there is food left in them they are covered in cling film and refrigerated for the next day.

We do help to serve our kids, mostly ds who is 6 because he is a veg avoider. Both kids are very fussy eaters and having things to 'try' rather than a portion already on the plate makes it easier to try and widen their food horizons.

We also do the taste test, like can ds work out if he is eating red, orange or yellow pepper! Despite not being keen on veg (yes, I know pepper is really a fruit!) he eats mountains of the stuff if he is eating broccoli like a dinosaur or taste testing pepper!

Put small portions in serving dishes, if they ask for more, say regretfully, there isnt any. I was brought up not to waste food, told about the starving folk abroad etc. You cannot compost cooked food.You are correct about the obesity thing. We go to a carvery where you can have a smaller plate, (suits us both) I am horrified when I saw some folks plates piled up really high.