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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking back the wine

153 replies

Porpoiselife · 16/03/2017 11:02

We had a couple of friends over for dinner at the weekend and they brought a bottle of white and a bottle of red wine with them. I had already got some wine in but we ended up drinking their white wine and also opened the red but only about a glass was drank from it.

At the end of the evening as they were leaving she says 'thanks for a lovely evening, oh i'll take our wine, we can enjoy that tomorrow' chuckle chuckle. I was a bit errrr ok, so they left with the rest of their wine.

AIBU to think that's a bit odd? More so as it was opened, but even if it wasn't opened surely you don't take it with you when you leave?

OP posts:
Sylvannas · 16/03/2017 11:06

That's a bit tight.
You take a bottle to thank the host for hosting. Really winds me up when people do that.

My cousins DP is a nightmare for that. Brings bottle of JD to bbq. Drinks all the lager in the cooler and takes the JD home with him. So rude! Who does that!?

TheLongRains · 16/03/2017 11:08

We had this with a packet of biscuits someone brought round. There were two biscuits lift in the pack... Really weird!

I think that surely taking things round is giving the hosts a gift?! And I know they're usually opened and shared, but still...

Would they do the same with a box of chocolates I wonder. Or a bunch of flowers... "Well, I hope you enjoyed looking at those this evening, we'll take 'em back, they'll look lovely on our mantle".

Bluntness100 · 16/03/2017 11:10

Very weird, they shouldn't have done that. However can I ask did you also drink your wine or just theirs during the evening?

bibbitybobbityyhat · 16/03/2017 11:11

I wouldn't do it, it is a bit socially awkward, but perhaps they aren't very well off?

KoalaDownUnder · 16/03/2017 11:13

Ugh, it's a bit cringeworthy! Couldn't imagine doing that.

Trifleorbust · 16/03/2017 11:14

That is very stingy and embarrassing.

sonyaya · 16/03/2017 11:15

Yeah I see it as taking a gift, not something I've taken for my own enjoyment.

CiderwithBuda · 16/03/2017 11:25

Weird. And tight.

We often don't open the wine people bring as we will have bought wine for the meal. We prefer to have the same wine rather than open different ones. So I would buy a few bottles of the same white and a few bottles of the same red.

Sometimes we will open wine people bring - for example our neighbour came over with wine a few weeks ago and said she didn't know what it was like but had read about it so we opened it to try. Or if someone brings chilled fizz we will open that.

Etiquette wise the wine you take to dinner is a gift for the hosts.

The analogy of taking flowers home after is a good one!

Original poster
Porpoiselife · 16/03/2017 11:33

thelongreins Thats takes the biscuit!! Grin

Bluntness100 We drank 2 of ours aswell, Twas a good evening!

bibbitybobbety They are about the same as us I think. I don't think it was an issue of not affording the wine.

I'm thinking maybe she was a bit pissed and wasn't thinking straight. Or she might have thought we would have thrown it away, although I doubt it! In the past if we've had a big party and people have brought alcohol that hasn't ended up being opened I have suggested they can take it back with them, but a dinner for 4 is a bit different. plus it was opened!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 16/03/2017 11:41

Hmmm, such bad form, I was thinking maybe you'd say no we didn't drink any of ours and possibly she had the hump ( although even then it's not acceptable) , but considering two of yours were drunk and you fed them, this is really not ok, no matter how pissed she was.

Floggingmolly · 16/03/2017 12:09

Awful!! Being not very well off is hardly relevant; what would they have done if it had all been drunk? They're just graceless tightarses.

GoodnightSeattle · 16/03/2017 12:15

I had a friend who did this all the time, even if the bottle only had a glassful left in it. She was and still is the tightest person I know.

Maudlinmaud · 16/03/2017 12:15

Yes I have a friend who does this, but she is lovely so I don't care. It's just the way some people are. Interestingly she will try to give me back things I've brought to her house but I decline and say they are a gift.

user1483387154 · 16/03/2017 12:18

I view taking a bottle of wine as a gift for the hosts. I would not take that back.

VladmirsPoutine · 16/03/2017 12:48

I'm cringing on your behalf and I wasn't even there!

Very bad form.

I once had a guest who refused to leave because he hadn't finished the wine he'd brought. His wife had wanted to leave and we were all a bit tipsy by the end of the evening but he just wouldn't budge until he'd finished 'his' wine.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 16/03/2017 12:50

Rude and tight as a ducks arse!

Never in all my years of going to friends for dinner and then coming to us have I ever had this happen

FilledSoda · 16/03/2017 12:51

cringe cringe cringe

dustarr73 · 16/03/2017 12:56

That's just bad form.And i bet they're tight in other ways.
Next time you invite them luck the top of the bottle 😂😂

HeyRoly · 16/03/2017 12:59

Totally stingey.

Faez · 16/03/2017 13:00

Probably wanted to finish it off when she got home if she was a bit pissed... Still rude.

Areyoufree · 16/03/2017 13:00

Come on, it's not that big a deal. Normal rules don't always apply with good friends.

Eatingcheeseontoast · 16/03/2017 13:02

Ummm....quite often with friends we'll give them back their wine if we hanen't drunk it and they'll give us back ours at the end of the evening. But we all sort of mostly do it ...so I think it works.

Especially some friends who don't really drink unless people are round.

But people we didn't know v well - no, we wouldn't.

LadyPW · 16/03/2017 13:02

It's a thank you for you making them dinner!!!! Shock

expatinscotland · 16/03/2017 13:05

I'm very skint. I wouldn't in a million years dream of doing this. It's rude and tight. Awful.

IamFriedSpam · 16/03/2017 13:05

That's very tight. If I bring wine sometimes it's not even opened as it might not go with the meal I certainly wouldn't nab it back again. It's not BYOB it's a token of appreciation for the host!